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Christmas

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#1 Dec 26 - 9AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Christmas

Hi Guys,

So I made it through. I thought I was over this jerk. Im back in my home town. Tons of triggers. I even had the pleasure of driving by his old house. This was the best Christmas ever. NOT.....

Last year he was sweeping me off my feet, this year I get the silent treatment. Im still in shock that someone could really head fuck me/us in such a way. My question.. Which is worse, Contact or the silent treatment?? I took everything in me yesterday not to contact him. I passed with flying colors.

I want to Thank all of you for being here and sharing. Im pretty sure its how I make it through.

On my way back to Chicago tomorrow. Good Bye 2010!!!!

May God Bless each and everyone of you.
Idealk

Dec 26 - 9PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

I drove by mines old house

I drove by mines old house too but I did not contact and Had a pretty nice Christmas and he did not consume my thoughts yea! Good for you that you made it thru! It really sucks when all of those memories from the past come back.
Dec 27 - 5PM (Reply to #11)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Sick of it! Hi girlie I

Sick of it! Hi girlie I missed u for days. I hope u had a nice holiday. Narcs suck: to 2011! We will rock it!
Dec 26 - 11AM
Leah
Leah's picture

Idealk, go YOU

for maintaining NC. I'll have the same challenge when I move out to the Bay Area. You're going strong. I agree, this was not a fun Christmas. Hopefully a year from now we'll look back at this and laugh...or at least grin. -Leah
Dec 26 - 11AM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Contact is worse

The silent treatment can suck because it can make you feel like they never cared, like it was all a sham, and who likes to be ignored, not I. Contact can make you feel like you are being screwed with in the head and it may actually lead to their coming back, which of course will be filled with more of the same. I would have to say being ignored by a whack job is a good thing. God bless, Goldie
Dec 28 - 11AM (Reply to #8)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Thanks for the response. I

Thanks for the response. I have to agree with you. Due to my history with this guy . Sometimes I have a hard time believing what he is. Thanks to all you guys. A narc is a narc, no if and or buts. Oxox Idealk
Dec 26 - 9AM
Happy1
Happy1's picture

I know how you feel. I was

I know how you feel. I was thinking yesterday morning that it really truly was over. He hadn't contacted me and it was final. It was hard but I've had no intention of contacting him. Then yesterday afternoon he started by saying Merry Christmas to me in a text. Then he sent over a video 5hrs later with movies and pics and music. I didn't dare look at it until this morning but it's made me very upset. Why would he do such a thing. To hurt me more! So, I truly think if they stay away it's a blessing. A true blessing..... It's hard to remain NC when they keep returning and it's so darn important to stay away from these horrible creatures. Happy returns to Chicago. That's where I am. 8-)
Dec 26 - 11AM (Reply to #2)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Dealing with this is just

Dealing with this is just awesome! Ahhhhhh! Lisa mentioned getting together in Chicago. I'd love that.
Dec 27 - 12PM (Reply to #3)
spinning
spinning's picture

Idealk, I know...

all about the silent treatment. It is hard. It is hurtful. It is mind-bending and designed to make the target feel invisible. The N in my life was the KING of silent treatment. His final D & D totally silenced everything. I do not know where he lives; he changed his phone number; and he has vanished into thin air...or maybe hell (I can only hope). I am only writing this dear idealk to let you know that I didn't know you were in a similar boat. Your posts and strong responses have helped me so much...and have even made me smile and laugh at times. You have so much more than some disordered individual who is really just an empty shell. You have light and brightness. Like Goldie says, and like I keep telling myself, being ignored by a psycho is probably better than getting pulled back in or providing negative supply by telling their A$$es off. I am trying to turn this around and thinking of it as something I choose as well. I wanted to get out of the sick, disordered relationship. I quit supplying. He bailed. I wish it felt better and have to believe that one day it will. I'm thinking of you send sending you good vibes.

spinning

Dec 28 - 11AM (Reply to #6)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Thanks soo much for your

Thanks soo much for your supportive words. I don't think about him much anymore but the Holiday's caused a trigger. I really thought we would have been spending Christmas together. Such a scham!! Love to all. Our strengh will not let them win!!! Idealk
Dec 27 - 5PM (Reply to #4)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

On my way to Chicao. All the

On my way to Chicao. All the best love u guys. Thank God! I just had the best time with an old friend. People that love me ate out there. He will be Alone. Sooo sad. God bless!
Dec 27 - 10PM (Reply to #5)
Leah
Leah's picture

Hi Idealk

Sorry I didn't get to call today. Hope your flight went okay despite the weather. Will call you on Tuesday. Hugs, Leah