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Boundary exercise with Idealk

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#1 Jan 29 - 9AM
Happy1
Happy1's picture

Boundary exercise with Idealk

I went into the City with Idealk last night and we had a wonderful time. Thank you again Idealk!! we went to a Tapas Bar first that we had never been to. BTW, Idealk has a very confident, outgoing and wonderful personality. We were out with another very nice friend of Ideak's also. We couldn't hear each other speak, so we left after we had been seated. Idealk's confidence is contagious. You should have seen her!! She took us to a wonderful place for dinner and dancing from there. 8-)
Anyway, while we were waiting for our car a very strange man came in and approached me right away and started telling me he was here to see me and I was beautiful...blah blah blah. I looked at Idealk like this has to be some sort of test she set up for me. There's no way I'm getting a boundary test right now. haha! So, I crossed my arms and gave him looks of no interest. He got the picture and went in. It was just funny that I had a test as soon as I met up with Idealk. haha!
We laughed so hard! I had to share! It was so nice to go out and I had a wonderful time. It was great to do something for me and narc free and with friends! 8-)
Thanks!
Happy1

Jan 30 - 2PM
Briseis
Briseis's picture

BWAHAHAA!!

You are a quick study Happy :D Crossed arms! What a perfect nonverbal message to send. Seriously, when a person looks as angelically sweet as you do, it's important to use these "methods". You can do a lot just with your eyes. If you perceive unwanted attention coming your way, don't look right at the person, look just a bit off to the side of their face and yes, look BORED. Don't have to scowl or put on a prune face. It's just saying nonverbally "Buh bye, seeya don't wanta beeya." In the context of a bar scene, this is actually very polite. At work? Eh, unprofessional and rude. Honey, you have to set boundaries every single day of your life. You already DO set them, efficiently and well, you just don't realize you are doing it. You already have lots of healthy boundaries in your life that are working very well. People like us just need to learn to set more of them, and adjust the ones that don't work so good. I'm glad you had that experience and shared it with us :) It was a classic :)
Jan 30 - 2PM (Reply to #18)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

Briseis

You are way to kind. I definitely have lost a lot of confidence in how I look and feel about myself and hopefully therapy will help with this too. I know some men are not too bright to read the arms crossed and look doesn't work. I know I have to learn to take it to the next level and speak my mind if a man comes in my space and I don't feel comfortable. This is very difficult for me to do but I'm going to definitely give it my all to stand my ground. But it was classic and reminded me of what you see in movies. ha! 8-)
Jan 30 - 3AM
narcissizednomore
narcissizednomore's picture

so great!

thanks for sharing your light!

narcissizednomore

Jan 29 - 4PM
Journey
Journey's picture

Happy for you!

What a great night it sounds like you had. I am so envious - lol! I would love meet up with any of you smart and beautiful women! Journey on...

Journey on...

Jan 29 - 5PM (Reply to #15)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Journey

Are you In chicago? Love to, Lets set a date. If any one else is Chicago Lets get together. Happy and I had a great Narc free night. I do think we ran into to a few, but we now have boundries.
Jan 29 - 10AM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Im so jealous. Why cant one

Im so jealous. Why cant one of ya'll live close to me! Happy isnt Ideal accent cute. I call it newyork with a splash of midwest. Glad ya'll had a nice time. Wish I could have joined you.
Jan 29 - 10AM (Reply to #13)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

SOI

Hi There, it's called an airplane. Come on down to Chi Town! So much fun!!! Hey, you are the one with cute accent. Idealk
Jan 29 - 9AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Happy

Happy was so happy. It made me happy to see her shine! I swear I didn't stage the show. 5 minutes prior we were taking about boundaries . I'm telling you the FU look works every time. Rock on Happy!
Jan 29 - 9AM
titta22
titta22's picture

Happy1....

That is fantastic!!!! I am very happy for you. I'm glad that you were able to smile and laugh and have fun with your friend. It was probably exactly what your soul needed,to let a little light in after all the darkness. : )
Jan 29 - 9AM (Reply to #2)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

titta22

Thanks! It was just what I needed and it was a great night! I am definitely starting to see some light now. There is life after Narc. We just have to keep moving forward. Happy1
Jan 30 - 6AM (Reply to #3)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Life after narc

Yes Happy there is and I am so Happy for you that you had a great time and good job at setting bounderies for yourself. See, you can do it, you have a lot more strength that you realized. Wonderful news. Goldie
Jan 30 - 2PM (Reply to #10)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

Goldie

Thank you! It is an up and down journey. 8-)
Jan 30 - 10AM (Reply to #4)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

The K9 had her back. :) She

The K9 had her back. :) She did Great!
Jan 30 - 2PM (Reply to #9)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

Idealk

Well put! haha! You are great!!!
Jan 30 - 11AM (Reply to #5)
safyre99
safyre99's picture

Glad you had a great time!

I'm so happy that you both had a great time! It was a well deserved fun night out.. and narc free!!! If anyone is in the Massachusetts area maybe we can arrange a similar night out and meet for dinner/drinks.
Jan 30 - 1PM (Reply to #6)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Sounds like a plan

I noticed there are a few on here from MA now, sounds like fun. Hit me up on the other site under private message. Goldie
Jan 31 - 8PM (Reply to #8)
safyre99
safyre99's picture

Ok... will do!

I'll get in touch with you on the other site. Thanks!
Jan 31 - 8PM (Reply to #7)
safyre99
safyre99's picture

Ok... will do!

I'll get in touch with you on the other site. Thanks!