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suggestion

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#1 Feb 11 - 9AM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

suggestion

Especially for the newer people. Since we can't post articles it might be helful for you to read up on enmeshment, trauma bonding, and triangulation.

As many of you know I became involved with the narc I guess I should call him a barc lol (I am fairly certain is borderline pd) after 15 years nc. I have been happily married until he showed up on the seen and did a quick hit and run. I have been a mess ever since.

Anyway I can't afford to have this happen to me again as I think it would literally kill me emotionally, spiritually and possibly physically. I have been digging and researching what the hell is wrong with him and honestly what the hell is wrong with me that I would get involved with again. I have a severe addiction to this man. I would almost say its compulsive.

I understand the concept of nc better now. I understand that he is disordered but I needed to why and why was it having this effect on me. Why was he able to inflict this kind of pain on me.

These were all subjects that I researched and have helped me understand his pathology and my addiction. I think if you take the time to read up on these it might help you understand why you feel the way you feel.

Just my 2 cents

Feb 11 - 2PM
nancyh
nancyh's picture

sickofit - Thanks for

sickofit - Thanks for posting the suggestions. I am in the "sponge" stage of absorbing as much information on Narcissists as I can and I appreciate your feedback. Today I bought the book on Trauma Bonding that Bries recommended and Lisa's book too. For me - knowledge about this disorder is a weapon I can arm myself with to stick with NC.

Nan

Feb 11 - 1PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Some other topics I

Some other topics I researched that helped me are Male Borderline Peronality disorder The silent treatment Codependency Some of these may or may not pertain to your individual situation but you will learn a lot and may discover something about yourself
Feb 11 - 1PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Some other topics I

Some other topics I researched that helped me are Male Borderline Peronality disorder The silent treatment Codependency Some of these may or may not pertain to your individual situation but you will learn a lot and may discover something about yourself
Feb 11 - 10AM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

How about mirror mirror on

How about mirror mirror on the wall he's the evilest of them all
Feb 11 - 10AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

SOI

It was worth at least 5 cents! We need to start a game. You're good at that! How about Narc Beach? Like, the waters reflection is like a mirror...
Feb 11 - 10AM (Reply to #2)
spinning
spinning's picture

SOI, IdealK, ...

I'm gonna add a couple of cents, too. SOI, great advice. Good post. I agree that reading a lot is really helpful. Also, mine is BPD (aren't we lucky) and adopted (really, we're so very, very special aren't we?) and also a complete and undeniable serial cheater, liar and the disordered one I was involved with was even an abuser (physically to himself and sometimes to me I'm ashamed to admit). UCK. I'll have to fill you in on the BPD confirmation from his ex. Whatever. Ugh! So, I'm gonna add to the Narc Beach game Ideal suggests and follow up her "where the water's reflection is like a mirror..." with "but lying just below the sparkling, cool surface is a rotten toothed shark with a really microscopically small d*ck...:) Love you gals! Sincerely (really trying hard to stop) spinning

spinning

Feb 11 - 11AM (Reply to #4)
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Wow. Mine is adopted too and

Wow. Mine is adopted too and long before I knew of personality disorders I felt his issues were rooted in his adoption. Mine I believe is a quiet borderline who loves the silent treatment which is typical behavior for them. I am not aware of any self harming actually can't imagine him ever harming himself. I think I read that quiet borderlines don't necessarily self harm If you are on the new site tonite ill chat you but I think I remember that you don't have internet at home?
Feb 11 - 12PM (Reply to #5)
spinning
spinning's picture

SOI,

I remembered from your prior posts about the adoption...Mine told me he had a lot of issues surrounding it and I thought the issues centered on abandonment issues. Little did I know about borderline and "splitting" and NPD. The disordered one I was involved with was a KING of silent treatment and D & D'd me in the cruelest possible way at the most stressful time of my life. He is capable of many things, very destructive and very dangerous without a compass. I am quite sure he is already hooked up with new supply as this was his pattern for twenty-some years (he was never alone in all that time as he went from the wife to me to whoever now). Whatever. Unfortunately I will not be online for the next few days. Back to my family to care for my father. I miss this board so much. During this time I feel so alone and frightened and am so angry at the narc for the complete abandonment, though I know deep inside that I am better off without his sick influence in my life. Hugs to all you brave souls here. Please send the good vibes my way. Sincerely (trying to stop) spinning

spinning

Feb 11 - 11AM (Reply to #3)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Once the shark takes the

Once the shark takes the bait, ithe shark is found washed up and dead from the poison! The Narc flattered a femal plastic surgeon to replace his dick and lives on to walk the beach in is speedo,looking for a Bikini babe.....