one of the gifts the N leaves behind... a factor of MILD PTSD - you're just one raw nerve and have no tolerance for anything or anyone.
I used to use that "I'm the common factor here" crap until I learned - I'm the common factor because I'M A MAGNET FOR PATHOLOGICALS BECAUSE I HAVE LOW-SELF ESTEEM AND NO BOUNDARIES.
You are probably doing some boundary assertion, albeit crudely - but you need to start somewhere.
you in counseling??
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Hi Barbara,
Thank you. I actually listened to you and Lisa on an old blog radio today. I am in counseling - once a week. I don't know why, but I feel like things are really unraveling lately, more that in the first few months. Part of it, I think, is realizing that he's not coming back. He always has in the past - about 10-12 times over the years. While I know him coming back isn't good for me, it still makes me feel like why not this time? As if he got his act together and realized I wasn't good enough. He's the healthy one because if he wasn't he'd be back. He always framed everything as doing me a favor. So selfless of him! What you say rings true although I can't quite articulate it - but it's as if I don't know how to even assert boundaries, so when I do, this is how it's coming out. I guess I am incredibly angry.
when you have them figured out.
one they know or realize you know it's all fake and their fake - they move on...
BECAUSE YOU ARE NOW TOO HEALTHY FOR THEIR SICK NONSENSE.
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Articles & information for abuse victims - Updated Daily
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I think anger is good. The Bible says somewhere (forgive me for not knowing the verse) "be angry but do not sin". Even Jesus got angry and tipped over tables in the tabernacle because the jews were using it as a market place. Why do we all feel like being angry is a bad thing. It is a necessary part of healing. You were wronged. We have the ability to feel. The fact that we internalize and see ourselves as a 'common factor ' shows our human nature. Do you think your N ever thought, "Hmmm....maybe it's me.....!?!?" Hell no! Be glad you are the opposite of narcissism.
Be kinder than necessary to everyone you meet; for everyone is fighting some kind of battle - anonymous- :o)
nolongercontrolled
Nicole
Hi Barbara, Thank you. I
they don't come back...
I think anger is good. The
http://hubpages.com/hub/Married-to-a-Narcissist?preview
nolongercontrolled