Am so done with you...

6 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Aug 6 - 9PM
NeverEverAgain
NeverEverAgain's picture

Am so done with you...

It really is time way past time to give you a proper goodbye.

The 'contact less' time - apparently I'm now 'distant'- has been really good for me in a lot of ways. Good lessons, yet again, distance and discomfort served me well education-wise. It really is the way it should be. Our 'friendship', if it can even be called that, or anything, for that matter, is not good for me. For me, friendship is a reciprocal and balanced thing at its core, a safe place of acceptance, understanding and goodwill between people. I don't feel any of this with/around you.

It is clear that there's little in the way of reciprocity in our dealings with one another - I struggle to recall any genuine interest expressed in my life, hopes, aspirations etc or interest in what I might need as support from a friend. In case you missed it, during all your mini dramas and soul-searching episodes, the planet indeed turned on its axis for others, including me. I've had a life - no less worthy than yours - and my own things to deal with. You've never so much as asked really. If you have, it's very surface, very disinterested, very quickly if the topic doesn't turn to you. You don't like people with problems, but somehow assume that others like your problems, that they're so much more important merely because they are yours. I don't miss much, I've told you, I figure shit out eventually.

To cut the chase - we were never friends. Not my definition of it anyway. There's been plenty of time for you to show you have any interest in an actual adult friendship. I suppose your intention for 'friendship' was clear early on with the sextalk and provocation BS, even before 'the visit' where friendship was forgotten, and although tere was crossing of sexual boundaries, at least there was no sex....bullet dodged, just not the head game sadly. And in that particular aspect, you are not innocent, not by a long shot, and no amount of revisionist convenience on your side makes it disappear.. You saying you are innocent, haha, oh-so-casually-interjected-in-a joke, curiously(not) short days before your real GF is due to visit, changes nothing. Not that it happened or that you participated in it, and certainly that you orchestrated it babes. I fell for your flattery at first, despite my better judgement. Not once, but a few times....as usual, not wanting to believe that someone your age could want to fuck with my head, giving the benefit of the doubt versus bowing to the age old 'if it walks like a duck, and sounds like a duck...'. My bad. Wow. My bad. I always knew it was BS deep down. It's just really sad that a man your age needs to do shit like that. You need another hobby. Adulthood has been knocking at your door for a while. You should give it a chance - its is really great actually Mr. Peter Pan.(I hope that term tickles your search engines - yiu are curious by nature...)

I've started seeing a really decent, normal, affectionate man recently and I don't want to screw it up with any unnecessary emotional crap on my end. I'm giving it a fair shot in every sense and he seems genuinely interested in me. It is very early days, but I am not willing to make it weird for him because of emotional residue from someone else. He deserves better no matter what, if anything, develops between us. I feel free with no contact with you and that is how it will be.

Oh...OMG... I forget to whom I write...I've surely lost your attention by now....you need some 'you' content...

Oh well, its the same old song anyway...and i am not a free psychologist for your life problems.....Only you can change the things that make you unhappy. You have all the tools, skills, talents, people in your life and motivation to do what you need to make happen what you want. I cannot provide any additional input or benefit to you than I already have and I have already provided more than appropriate. Your feelings, life concerns and plans should really only be shared with your significant other - made with her and your future with her in mind. Don't you think she'd be insulted if she knew that you shared any of your personal musings about your future - something that actually affects her - with other women? If you doubt that sweets, just ask her. That is legitimately 'her' part of you and should not be shared with anyone else.

I wish you much love and success in your life. Truly, I do. You may not get that.
Jesus...what am I saying...you may not care...given my excommunicated status from the Church Of You.

And... here's a final thought. Next time you feel like having some extra-GF recreation - and I hope there is no next time, (I am ever-hopeful) - maybe consider finding someone more suitable (aka - an uncaring asshole), deserving, and an equal in the head games department. You missed the mark with me. Such freaking twisted recreation I'm sure is always more enjoyable with a playing partner who has the same level of heartlessness. I mean... it levels the playing field, playing with an equal, n'est-ce pas? If you can win mind games with a bitch of that calibre, well hey, you win within your species, and not against some mere commoner...you win...ummm...whatever it is that you big city sophisticates win...Head Fuck World Cup? Yay. Con-fucking-ratulations.

You'd be a better man to avoid that pointless macho shit altogether. It is just that, shit, and proves nothing but an ability to chase pussy. BIG...FUCKING...DEAL. Put that on your life resume, and enjoy the loneliness later. It WILL come to roost. Smart women - which you say you like - they will always figure it out, eventually. Arrogance gets complacent and transparent with its ennui and with time... By now you've probably had more than a statistically significant sampling of the wide spectrum of kitties. What's the diff anymore? Aren't you bored yet? Isn't it the same old chase, just diff flavor dip? Why do it if you don't want the kill? To prove you can? So what, you can. Yawn....there's a never ending supply of that.

There are more worthwhile challenges for a real man. I must say, your 'observations' about your younger colleague's possible commitment issues are pretty funny in light of your own glaring issues...um...projection, anyone? Big ass pot calling the kettle black....aka the guy who has kept someone waiting for two years 1000 km away, while flexing the 'I can still get laid' muscles regularly, and, probably, very democratically way over here in Hicksville.

It is so disappointing to think that you might really be 'that guy' ...oblivious (or maybe not so) to the collateral damage you can inflict with the game playing. I had hoped that really was not the case. What a waste - you could be so much more - I thought you really are capable of so much more. Alas, I am a sucker for the potential in people and very clearly need to slap my inner Florence Nightingale into freaking submission. She needs to die, that bitch, actually. Ugh...

I am way past being hurt, I emptied that bag a long time ago. I am now just plain insulted that you put me in the 'common lay' category. You have really underestimated me. Thank God you were too 'all talk, no real action' on the sex front. You really have no clue who or what I am and never really wanted to. That's too bad, I am an awesome person and a very good friend, but I get the sense that find that shit a little too 'meh' and weak for your exciting life. Time to find another sucker. Whatever. I'm sure another couple or five have been being groomed for a while.If you make it further with them than me ( I hope there are no other gullibles around), for the love of God, don't forget the condom ;)

I strangely feel the need to thank you - its been a long, long while since I've had your like in my life - you've been a good lesson and a timely reminder, thanks.

Goodbye, and all the best. Just stay the hell out of my life.

Aug 13 - 7AM
NeverEverAgain
NeverEverAgain's picture

Thanks Rose

Aug 12 - 10PM
rosedewittbukater
rosedewittbukater's picture

The world continued spinning

Aug 7 - 9AM
alittledark
alittledark's picture

lol triangulation from a distance

I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace.
--Helen Keller

Aug 7 - 9AM (Reply to #2)
NeverEverAgain
NeverEverAgain's picture

Lol

Aug 7 - 11AM (Reply to #3)
alittledark
alittledark's picture

Thanks for understanding NEA

I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace.
--Helen Keller