Are they usually addicts?

the weekly trivia game at the neighborhood bar near where he worked. He'd hang up on me if I called him and the game was about to start!

It's safe to say my ex narc has an addictive personality. He tended to go through intense obsessional phases with things, me included till he was bored of me. From what I could glean about his past he did the Alpha Course (religion), downloaded more music than a normal human being could stomach, streamed, downloaded and burnt copious quantities of hardcore internet porn, collected an astonishing amount of photographs of girls wearing white knickers and was developing an unhealthy addiction to Solpadeine Plus. He was also addicted to going to a counsellor. He'd been in therapy for 2 years and I think he was addicted to talking about himself for an hour every week. It made absolutely no difference him seeing a counsellor. He just became more manipulative. He used to say his counsellor had got really angry and had been swearing. I said, "Do you not think maybe she's mirroring your behaviour as a test?" He just had not seen this. No insight or awareness. I got wary of the phases. One week it would be metal detecting, then it would be organic cooking, then it would be astrophysics, then it would be writing ghost stories, then it would be folk music. He could never just sit quietly and be still in his own presence. He always had to have some form of stimulation. He was dumbfounded by my ability to 'simply be'. I think he was jealous of my inner calm and how I could amuse myself for hours, pursuing interests I've had for years in a consistent and methodical way. He tried to belittle my interests, saying, "Oh you've always got to have a project haven't you?", when actually, he was talking about himself. If only he had made himself a project to work on but....that would have required insight and a lack of fear in order to face himself.

I think addictions would be pretty typical of a narc. Not necessarily to drugs or alcohol, but to anything that provides stimulation. If these guys are missing a sensitivity chip then I could see how they could try to make up for those missing feelings through alcohol, drug use, excessive exercise, high risk sex, etc. My x-N has done it all. Drug use in his younger days, then he got extremely into religion, then he dumped that and started exercising like a friggin maniac- to the point that he was body builder material. Now he's just a plain ole' alcoholic. Doesn't drink every day, but when he does, he can't just have one drink. It's 20 drinks and then yelling, shouting, picking people up and whipping them around, spilling drinks, losing cameras, vomiting everywhere, and generally making a complete asshole out of himself. Quite frankly, I find it funny when he embarrasses himself. I know I shouldnt, but whatever, I do.

whoops, double post.

My ex N is a heavy drinker too. It was starting to get where I was concerned... oh well not my problem anymore... he dumped me so he can drown in whatever bullshit he brings onto himself. He was drinking before work... we start at 11pm at night mind you so most of us are up at 6 or 7. But then he drinks when he gets home in the morning too. Way too many times I'd go to his place on a Saturday and he'd be drunk when I got there... 3pm and drunk? Really? If there is such thing as addiction to drama... he's got that too. Total shit disturber and feels justified in what he does and says that get people upset. With him it's not if the knife is going to hit you in the back... it's when. It's been really calm at work since he's been on vacation... what a shock!

CharlieSheenWinning is definitely an alcoholic. I knew it when I was involved with him, but stayed anyway. Now he's married to a woman he knew for only 3 weeks before getting hitched. According to his best friend, the only thing they have in common is alcohol. People always see them at the local bars, which isn't an indication of alcoholism on its own, but I know how he is. He likes to DRINK. A LOT. So now he's got a drinking buddy wife. I think he's also addicted to drama and excitement. He loves to triangulate women and stir things up to keep you on your toes. Ick. My best friend saw his Winning (?) Wife the other day and said she looked "stressed." She was looking around the room paranoid, like she didn't know what was going to come at her next. I know how she feels. And man, am I glad I'm not in her place.

mine is seriously addicted to pot, attention from his old buddies, strange bar ladies, video games and his image/ fading career - biggest concern is his image I am sure there are more but he led a highly secretive life

Mine is.He's a cocain addict,a porno addict,and cigs...and has some kind of obsessive thing with money and work. It could be because of their emptiness inside,or lack of emotion.

There's a great book titled "Deal Breakers" or something like that... and each chapter seems to refer to... NARCS. In the chapter "The Man-Boy",one of the examples they use is "he seeks solace in video games, food, drink, instead of addressing problems in the relationship." That would apply to the ex-Psych prof PERFECTLY! During my junior year, instead of talking about what was going on BETWEEN US, he'd stuff his face with food. He gained A LOT of weight in a short time. His junk food addiction showed. During the final D&D, he was drinking heavily. He had an off-campus class centered on drinking wine. One of my friends said "When a relationship ends, women cry and men drink beer." My retort at the time was "I'm crying, he's drinking beer." He was even drinking heavily when his LDR girlfriend moved in. It's like she didn't mind that he was addicted to food&alcohol... oh, and his masturbation habit.

The answer, unfortunately, is yes........they can have many addictions. Alcohol, sex and spending money are the 3 major addictions. If they suffer from BPD than it is safe to say they suffer from all of these addictions. Narc #2 suffered from all 3.

Mine drank a bit, esp. when he was alone....which is even worse. He was also starting to become more addicted to ganbling. I think these Narc's are trying desperately to be "excited" or interested in something.....since they aren't able to love anyone including themselves, they constantly need a distraction, something to grab their attention....it's just a thought....