Been having a lot of difficulty

I have exceeded 7 months no contact (getting close to 8), and I am having so much difficulty lately. I wake up every morning with anxiety as if we just split up yesterday. I obsess about him, about the what ifs, about my life not being where I want it to be. I imagine him happy and with someone new. I have read many of the blogs over and over, but I seem to have gone backwards.

I think a big part of my being stuck is I'm in a job now in which I don't have a lot of interaction with people daily. I believe I was happier (even though I didn't know it then) going into a corporate job every day and seeing people because it distracted me. I decided to take a chance on this job, and now I am obsessing over my bad decision taking this job.

The daily obsessing over him, my job choice, my overall situation right now is wearing on me. I can't sleep well, and I feel the same anxiety I felt when I was ill while I was still with the exN. I remember not ever getting support from him during those times.

I reread all my notes over and over about the reasons why I broke it off with him. However, I am not confident in myself anymore, and I keep having CD. I go as far as to think about a new girl he could be with right now and him spending evenings and weekends with her. Mind you I have no idea if he has someone or not.

My life is stuck right now. I don't foresee myself moving on in terms of dating again any time soon. Most of my friends are married with kids so my social life has dwindled as well. I am not finding any pleasure in life right now. I guess I'm just thinking maybe I'm going to live this unhappily for a long time. I cry as I type this.

I guess I just wanted to get some of these feelings out here. Thank you for letting me get it out.