Boundless energy?

15 posts / 0 new

#1 May 19 - 7AM

helldweller

Boundless energy?

Did anyone else have a narc who never ran out of energy? I live two doors away from mine and it amazes me. He's fifty two and has a five year old who he takes care of by himself, but he goes to work every day, comes home and does the homework with the child, yardwork, works on the house, makes business deals and then, every night, he comes out of the house with the little boy, holding his hand, and takes him next door to the sitter or, usually, they both go, get in the car and drive away, only to come home at eleven o'clock at night or later. I have two little girls and am a single parent and I have not gone out with a friend in months--too exhausted by the time evening comes. How does he do it?

#2 May 19 - 2PM

narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)

flatliner

he was a lazy trifling flatliner...he had the metabolism of a sloth...... i don't know how many of you are familiar with METH...but let me tell you....it's POWDERED AMBITION....NORMAL people on meth are super HYPER...they have to be moving...whether it's raking leaves, scrubbing grout or tappinng their feet or grinding their teeth....SOMETHING...but not the psychonarc..... he could snort enough Meth to wipe out an entire graduating class.....and.........JUST SIT THERE.... same with amphetamines.....he could eat a hand full of amphetamines....and JUST SIT THERE.....staring...... â€œI do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness. The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget." - Chaim Herzog

#3 May 19 - 2PM

narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)

flatliner

#4 May 19 - 10AM

Janet

Yes. Wired (probably some

Yes. Wired (probably some drugs helped that too). Peace. J

Peace. J

#5 May 19 - 8AM

Barbara (not verified)

energizer bunny

this is common comes from the very different brain structure & brain chemistry of pathologicals if you read WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS you will see this talked about they are NOT HUMAN ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller

#6 May 19 - 10AM (Reply to #2)

neveragain5

Glad you brought this up,

Glad you brought this up, helldweller. One of the things that I did after breaking-up with my long-term N, was really think about what I could and could not tolerate with my next relationship. When I was online dating, some of the men that I would email with, would email at 2,3 or 4 in the morning. When they would write about what they did that weekend, they would have this huge, laundry list of things that they did. Running from one activity to another. After hearing this over and over, I kept thinking, "Geez, I must be a slacker or something". After working all week and caring for my dogs, I just want to relax on the weekends. After meeting my last N, he was the same way. One of the reasons that I gave him that we weren't compatible, was the fact that we don't have the same energy levels. I told him that he seemed to be an adrenaline junkie and that especially now, I was looking for a more balanced and simple life, not running around, stimulated all the time. Everything about them is exhausting. Just one more thing to consider when getting involved with a person.

#7 May 19 - 11AM (Reply to #3)

smileyfacepr

OPPOSITE!!

Mine was the opposite had no energy somedays and full of energy others, I didnt get it! He used to tell me he wished he had my energy...well guess what?? He took it w/him..drained me!!!

smileyfacepr

#8 May 19 - 12PM (Reply to #4)

Jessika (not verified)

LOL... yes

it's completely related to their neuropathology. Also like Smileyfacepr points out some have very low energy. They tend to run in extremes... hyperactive OR hypoactive. I have had each type..... the hypoactive one was like a slug- even spoke slowly. This is ALL related to their neurochemistry, faulty neuroconnections... absolutely everything about their brain functioning is seen in their behavior (i.e., sleep patterns, energy levels, immorality, driven to get what they want--> US amazing ladies, money, status, etc). When you read about the neurobiology it ALL falls into place about them. I meet a hyper or hypo active guy and I don't even bother to give them a second thought. I know that may be unfair to the guys who are simply ADHD--- but "oh well" after what I have been through I can't take the risk. So... energy level is definitely a red flag.

#9 May 20 - 12AM (Reply to #11)

neveragain5

Jessika

I hear ya! I think the long-term, N was more hypo-active, something that really confused me until recently. With the last one, I had no idea what he was at the time. Still tried to talk to him in a reasonable fashion. :) There won't be any risks taken here either. I just have a few "must haves" that are on the list; smart, NORMAL kind, NORMAL,cute and NORMAL. Oh, did I mention NORMAL? ;)

#10 May 19 - 5PM (Reply to #9)

Healingnow

reading about it

HI, So where do I read about the neurobiology? My exN was always on the go and wouldn't sleep right through each night.

#11 May 19 - 10PM (Reply to #10)

Barbara (not verified)

neurobiology

Read WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/women-who-love-psychopaths-2nd-edition ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller

#12 May 19 - 1PM (Reply to #5)

hope4me

this is true

My ex NH never stops. I always found it odd he could never just spend a relaxing day with us at home. He always has to be going and have tons of people around him. I work, take care of kids, do housework, normal things and am exhausted by 9:00, he can stay out partying, get up, work, party, it never ends. This just pushed me over the edge. I could not handle it and he had the nerve to call me a boring stick in the mud. What's funny is when we first got together all he wanted to do was sit at home and watch movies all weekend, it drove me crazy. then, when he started making his money and we got married and the kids came along, he no longer wanted to do that. Amazing how they change.

#13 May 20 - 12AM (Reply to #6)

wallaby (not verified)

Yes my N NEVER stopped

He had horrible insomnia and would COMPLAIN of being tired etc -BUT he never stopped moving. After dinner he'd YANK me up from the table and announce we were taking a "little walk" and he'd walk so fast I'd be tripping to keep up and even my yelling "SLOW DOWN" - he NEVER would. Casual strolls in San Francisco when we would go for a day trip would KILL me as he NEVER STOPPED - up and down the hills and the museum stairs etc. He is also an amazing workaholic - but now I see it all as the ambition for the drug of fame/power/attention. Of course eh worked so hard as he needed a next fix and an endless supply of fixes- his EVERY MOMENT was designed to get high on his own grandiosity - keeps a man energized and busy! It was always emotionally AND physically exhausting to be with him. My ex Nh - is totally in the SLOTH category - I think the major driver there is PASSIVE-AGGRESSION. "The slower I move on everything and the less I accomplish that I committed to, and the less money I make to have to support my kids the more I piss my ex wife off and get power over her and can thrill in watching her go off on me". SO freaking annoying! Just like Jessika observed - its always an extreme with them as their wiring is OFF

#14 May 20 - 8AM (Reply to #8)

Barbara (not verified)

Obstructionistic, P-A behavior

exNH is always on the go... EXCEPT when it comes to me - then he's the poster boy for Passive Aggressive obstructionist behavior he will delay, 'forget' or outright say no if - I want something - I need something - the kids want/ need something - if I am in flare - if I am particularly ill - if I am flat broke (happens the last 10 days of every month) then there's the - mumbling - talking while walking OUT of a room - under the breath comments (I have Conductive Hearing issues due to my MS so he takes full advantage of this and calls me names if I don't hear. Now if I think I hear something - I don't even say "Huh?" I act like nothing was said. Drives him nutz!! LOL) but if he needs me to do something? and I am too sick, busy or forget? you'd think it was 9/11 all over again ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller

#15 May 20 - 5AM (Reply to #7)

narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE SNAIL...

that's what the psychonarc was... he was always very passive aggressive... i'm sure he was dragging ass just to make my life difficult... just to cause problems... he could NEVER meet a deadline... of any sort... when i would call him on his behavior, you would just sneer and say... 'i've always been a procrastinator...but i always get the job done, bitch'... no... he NEVER got the job done... . simple things... like putting an ad in a newspaper... making a call... dropping something in the mail... he could not -- WOULD NOT DO IT...... later on when he was up against the wall for his behavior, he blamed it on... DEPRESSION... from having to live with a 'worthless harping bitch' like me... 'living with you makes me so depressed i can't function'... he couldn't WOULDN'T function..period... he was always late to appointments... .made it a POINT to be late for appointments... it was a CONTROL thing... it was all about being in control of other people's lives and time... â€œI do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness. The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget." - Chaim Herzog

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