Broke NC and feel awful!

"sorry you made assumptions about my trip. I will always treasure what we had and I hope you can find the peace and love you deserve. Take care of yourself" sounds sooooo familiar...makes me so angry!! it's ok to have set backs, and him behaving so horribly is another example to refer to about what he really is when you have CD

I agree w journey. The men we loved so deeply never existed! So hard to accept but so true. I truly believe that there is not a kind, civil way to communicate with these Narcs once they reveal themselves. I tried many times to be civil or end things in an adult, nice healthy way. Not possible to have things be "nice". These people are about control. The only way things "stay nice" is if you keep being a good little toy- never speak up- take the scraps they give us. I wish I had a dime for every time I heard how much he " treasured what we had" ugh!! Hang in there. It does get better.

Unfortunately, the man you "loved so deeply" doesn't and never did really exist. Who it is changing you into is someone who is standing up for yourself and not letting his empty words mean what they don't. Your reply to him was justified, it is hard to be 'nasty' in response to what seems so caring because normally that would be so unnatural to do, but I'm beginning to think it is the ONLY way to break free enough to heal from these narc-holes! Journey on...

There was a link to Sam Vaknin's videos on YouTube in the All About Him section earlier today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pXDHKi15hY&feature=related I have spent most of today watching the videos and reading his journal today: http://samvak.tripod.com/journal1.html Torn between feeling very ashamed of how much I took again from my last date despite theoretically knowing so much better and seeing the need to go out in the open with it so those monsters can be stopped in their sick attempts of controlling our lives. I think Sam Vaknin is extremely helpful to understand the mechanisms of manipulation that we were and often still are exposed to. Love yourself, no matter how much he managed to push your buttons today - that will help you get through this and not react the next time.

It is a nightmare, as one 15 years with a narc and now over 2 years out, they are inhuman,uncaring, shells of people with nothing inside and do whatever it takes to move on from the man,.....who they appear and the" monster' inside is devastating to behold, we all went through what you feel now.. I am in the trenches with you.....

I'm so sorry he managed to push your buttons. They are so damn good at it!!! I sympathize with your feelings. I am a loving person, but thoughts of the Narc make me want to wail like a banshee and hurt him the way he has hurt me. This is only a temporary state for us. One day it will not even register. Take a look at this website. The men we loved didn't really exist. They were a series of lies and manipulation that the sickos conned us into beieving. Let them go on with their disgusting empty lives. Pray for the victims they will continue to use like they did us. Start focusing on the wonderful woman you are and that he will never change!! You are real!!! He is an imposter pretending to be human.