Can fear of enmeshment be overcome quickly?

My ex N has enmeshment fears...all about the chase..he could talk about the possible future scenerios, but would tense up or set a boundary if I mentioned anything unsolicited.
I'm a very independent person who needs space, so his Idealization phase was a bit overwhelming for me and I had to tell him so...he even said it was "cool" that I didn't need a lot of contact with him while he was working away in the mine (2 weeks in at a time), and when I said I missed him while he was gone I didn't need to be talking to him all the time, he agreed that it was good, because if I did it would just push him away.
Of course, when I started to trust his motivation, the chase came to a gradual halt and the D&D started.

His new gf is almost 2 months in with him...with all the fb posting she does about him, friending all his friends, tagging everybody all over the place, determining her place in his life.. the N I once knew would find all this public declaration to be a threat to his autonomy and set off his engulfment fears...and that's just what's on fb, I don't know the real life stuff....even a non-N gets uncomfortable with a woman acting too eager...and for someone who is all about the chase, she didn't give him any!!

Is it possible that a new girl could have something about her that his engulfment fears be alleviated that easily? If I carried on like that all over the internet about him I would have been subjected to ST and far more quikly the D&D...he does not express much publicly on fb, and most of his updates get deleted eventually...

Any ideas??