Can I sent this to him?

42 posts / 0 new

#1 Jul 14 - 9AM

Happy1

Can I sent this to him?

I truly like this... I found it from on the posting. Can't I sent a version of this to him? It's speaks loudly of what he is. It would be breaking NC though.

Our lives together
Were one long, drawn out, never ending
Self improvement course for me.
From the beginning you were oh so unhappy and grumpy
Unloved, put upon, forced to be in power and "caretake"
But the irony is that YOU forced it to be that way.
You offered me
NO support
NO affirmation
NO love
Just advice on how to be someone else to win your love.
You cannot live, you cannot breathe
Without your pretense of power.
You truly cannot love
And the love of others, their vulnerability,
Disgusts you.
It means you are responsible for that loving person (in your warped mind).
It is frustrating, your inability to see my strength.
I resent your version of me, your version of the relationship.
After grabbing all the power by being mean and critical
By never letting me feel at ease
By constantly judging
You ironically say you cannot be with a weak person like me.
But think about it
I put up with you for 6 years, your insanity, your criticism, your unloving nature.
I think that makes me pretty f&%ing strong.
Good luck on your stupid pathetic rebound relationship
With the new "perfect" person
Oh yes, I am sure that she's all that I am not
Completely utterly independent; A sexual wonder; never shy or unsure or vulnerable; never emotional or hurt; never ever has any problems;
Doesn't ask anything of you;
is unfazed by any nastiness you exhibit,
in fact, loves you all the more for being such a strong, nasty, independent guy.
Worships you. Yet hates you.
Asks for no intimacy. Complete utter detachment.
What a crock of shit. Good luck you stupid pathetic f*&khead.

#2 Jul 14 - 11PM

Imaginary Friend

Here's an idea!

Why don't you find some of those gross naked pics that he emailed you or texted you, create a document in Word including a headshot of him and below it one of his gross cock-shots (c'mon, I know all N's inflict these on everyone!). Then think of a witty caption as a headline at the top...something like "Ray N., Apartment 408, And His Little Friend." Voila! Print out a hundred or so of your new flyer, take them to his building and place one on every windshield in the parking lot. Tape the last one to the front door of the building. Think of yourself as his own little PR agency, after all, you probably were and we all know how N's love attention. Find a useful outlet for your creativity! Don't waste it writing him poetry. Talk about feeding pearls to swine.

#3 Jul 14 - 9PM

betty2020

No. If you want you could

No. If you want you could send it to me and i will read it to my sons hamster (chester). At least you may get a response. xoxoxo only one way to go...Forward

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

#4 Jul 14 - 9PM (Reply to #36)

Happy1

LOL! That's funny! Your

LOL! That's funny! Your hamster would understand before my N. Hugs!

#5 Jul 14 - 9PM (Reply to #37)

betty2020

Hes pretty responsive and

Hes pretty responsive and deff not an N! luv ya girl... only one way to go...Forward

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

#6 Jul 14 - 9PM (Reply to #38)

Happy1

Maybe I need to get a

Maybe I need to get a hamster. 8-) what a great replacement for my N.

#7 Jul 14 - 9PM (Reply to #39)

better off

Hamsters are very friendly.

Hamsters are very friendly. It WOULD be a great replacement and your son would love it too! You really should! And they produce a lot less shit than an N.

#8 Jul 14 - 9PM (Reply to #40)

Happy1

I believe that! I don't

I believe that! I don't think any creature or human could produce more shit than the N. 8-)

#9 Jul 14 - 8PM

gigi9

rainbow and sad1

I am going camping too this w/e and if we all lived closer...we could start a support group! Stay strong girls.....day 28 NC and with each passing day my eyes are opening more and more and with the help of this board and the validation that it has offered me...I am sooooo much stronger. The w/e is what you make of it! Go out and have fun and remember all of the terrible w/e's with the N.....life has so much more to offer!

#10 Jul 14 - 8PM (Reply to #34)

Happy1

Thanks gig9! It would be

Thanks gig9! It would be cool if we all lived close. I will definitely try very hard to be positive about the weekend and try hard to not think of him. I know he isn't worth the time. Have fun camping and 28 days of NC is awesome!!!

#11 Jul 14 - 4PM

Happy1

You are all correct and I'm

You are all correct and I'm glad I have you guys to help because I know I would have sent that note otherwise. I will continue NC but this is insanely difficult as you all know. The weekend is getting closer and I'm getting more upset. 8-(

#12 Jul 14 - 5PM (Reply to #32)

ewa

He would probably not even

He would probably not even read it to the end :(

#13 Jul 14 - 4PM (Reply to #27)

rainbow1

sad1

where do you live? You can come camping with me and my friends this weekend! We are all going dirt biking and quadding! Ill even let you use my quad, just to get your mind off things!

_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

#14 Jul 14 - 5PM (Reply to #28)

Happy1

You're the best Rainbow1! I

You're the best Rainbow1! I live close to Naperville,IL but I know my son wants to go the water park this Saturday and I told him he needs to help me find a church in town on Sunday. He's not thrilled about that but I think it will be good for us now. It's a hard thing for me to do because I'm not very sociable right now. I just hope I can focus this weekend and not cry the entire weekend.

#15 Jul 14 - 10PM (Reply to #31)

happydaysahead

but....

You're pretty close to me :) I found this AWESOME church in Orland Park--Parkview Christian Church. It has been another of my lifesavers next to this forum. :)

#16 Jul 14 - 5PM (Reply to #29)

rainbow1

Thats pretty far away from

Thats pretty far away from me in Seattle! But the offer is always there if you need a vacation! I am so proud that you have your weekend planned! Good for you!

_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

#17 Jul 14 - 5PM (Reply to #30)

Happy1

Thanks rainbow1! You're very

Thanks rainbow1! You're very sweet and kind!

#18 Jul 14 - 4PM

rainbow1

I know what mine would do....

He would read it of course. Then he would laugh. Then he would have this sick little grin on his face. Then he would go about his day and not think one more thought about it. In one ear and out the other. He wont care. It wont "get" to him. He would find it funny for a second that he got to me enough for me to put energy into sending that to him. But that would be the end of it.

_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

#19 Jul 14 - 4PM

gigi9

And.....

As twisted as this may be...sending this only FEEDS his big fat EGO. Anytime we show that we are even remotley emotionally connected to them...either through anger or sadness or the want to be heard.....their ego gets fed and thus they still have power over us....which is what they are looking for, what they crave, what they vampire out of us. So if you hit the send button on an email or the phone.....say to yourself this little mantra "I love feeding his ego. I love giving my power away. He deserves that"....and then let that be your reason to get angry or sad...that once again you lost yourself in him. Anytime I have been tempted to send him that email I wrote.....I send it to myself instead.

#20 Jul 14 - 4PM

gigi9

No!

He will not hear you. He is not capable of hearing anything you have to either say or send. I cannot tell you how many emails I sent thinking that maybe just maybe he would hear my written words. And instead......he ignored 99% of the emails I ever sent him. You mine as well find a wall and bang your head into it. That is how utterly pointless sending that to him would be and not to mention....banging your head against a wall only hurts you...not him.

#21 Jul 14 - 10AM

AnotherPath

Keep it for your journal.

Keep it for your journal. Whatever you do don't send it to him, he won't care about any of it anyway. And your healing doesn't include him. NC

Ending the dance

#22 Jul 14 - 10AM (Reply to #21)

Happy1

You are so right

You are so right AnotherPath, Part of me still wants him to understand what he is but I know that it won't do any good and it's really about me and recovering. It's hard when I've always been one to try to help people and he just doesn't get anything. It's so very frustrating.

#23 Jul 14 - 10PM (Reply to #22)

happydaysahead

They will NEVER understand what they are..

Because they are perfect and without fault !! Don't let it get you down--they are not worth all of that !!

#24 Jul 14 - 9AM

Happy1

Here is my version:

Our lives together Were one long, drawn out, never ending self improvement course for me. From the beginning you were oh so unhappy and grumpy, cheating and a liar. Unloved, put upon, forced to be in power and full of projection. I was the one that was the puppet on strings. But the irony is that YOU forced it to be that way. You offered me: NO support NO affirmation NO love NO affection NO understanding Very secretive Never Sharing Anything Never being Wrong Never saying 'I'm Sorry' Treating my son like sh*t Never acknowledging my son unless to yell at him Making my son step aside so he isn't in your pictures Never listening to me about what was going on in my life Never caring about me Just venom coming out of your mouth Only sharing with other women which is emotional cheating by the way Even getting boob shots from a friend is cheating...sorry ... which one is better? the left one you said was your favorite? Match.com, E-harmony, Lisa, Karen with dirty talk. Who knows who else is all cheating. You think I am supposed to trust that? Your lies for no reason, your secretiveness, your constant cheating? NO...... yet, you think I am supposed to be trusting of YOU? What have you ever done to earn that TRUST? Just advice on how to be someone else to win your love. You cannot live, you cannot breathe without your pretense of power. You truly cannot love And the love of others, their vulnerability, Disgusts you. It means you are responsible for that loving person (in your warped mind). It is frustrating, your inability to see my strength. I resent your version of me, your version of the relationship. After grabbing all the power by being mean and critical By never letting me feel at ease By constantly judging You ironically say you cannot be with a weak person like me. But think about it. I put up with you for 2 years, your insanity, your criticism, your unloving nature. I think that makes me pretty f&%ing strong. Good luck on your stupid pathetic rebound relationship With the new "perfect" person Oh yes, I am sure that she's all that I am not Completely utterly independent; A sexual wonder; never shy or unsure or vulnerable; never emotional or hurt; never ever has any problems; Doesn't ask anything of you; is unfazed by any nastiness you exhibit, in fact, loves you all the more for being such a strong, nasty, independent guy. Worships you. Yet hates you. Doesn't mind that you just lay there with your eyes closed during sex and doesn't participate. what a lover Asks for no intimacy. Complete utter detachment. What a crock of shit. Good luck you stupid pathetic f*&khead.

#25 Jul 14 - 9AM

NinjaGirl

I don't think you should

While I think you're totally justified in doing so, I don't think any good will come from it. Maybe in a few years when you're completely stable and free from his emotional grasp. But not now.

#26 Jul 14 - 9AM (Reply to #2)

Happy1

What do you think would

What do you think would happen if I did? He is very proud and very right and never wrong. I don't he would want me back. Do you think he would do something?

#27 Jul 14 - 9AM (Reply to #13)

ClusterF

No point in drawing it out.

That's what THEY do. Keep that missive, look at it for affirmation if you like, but it isn't going to have any effect on him or his behavior. And it's breaking no contact. Give yourself a chance to start healing. Just my opinion :-)

#28 Jul 14 - 10AM (Reply to #14)

Happy1

ClusterF

I guess I just feel a lot of anger today and I know a note won't hurt him. I'm just angry he doesn't get it.

#29 Jul 14 - 10PM (Reply to #15)

almostlydia

But he will GET IT when he

But he will GET IT when he never hears from you again. In the loudest way that they can hear anything. Stay strong. Silence is golden:)

almostlydia

#30 Jul 15 - 3AM (Reply to #16)

Happy1

I think he will move on but

I think he will move on but I don't think he will ever get it. I don't think my silence will matter to him. He's such an arrogant ass. He can't be bothered to think of me. He told me he wouldn't miss me for a second when I'm gone. He said that before we broke up.

#31 Jul 15 - 7AM (Reply to #17)

NinjaGirl

Even more reason not to send it

And even more reason not to care about anything he thinks, does, or says. He's a lying prick. And your silence WILL have an impact, I guarantee it. You just may never see it.

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