C_Capes Story

16 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Jan 30 - 11AM
C_Cape's picture

C_Capes Story

This is the first time I have actually articulated my 'story' from the beginning, and I am really nervous about it. I guess seeing it in black and white makes it real. I am also deeply ashamed on so many levels. I thought I was a strong, independent woman, and over the past year and a half I feel like I have become a shell of myself. Utter desperation has led me to this website, in the hope that someone will understand, not judge me and help me get out of this massive emotional hole I find myself in.

To set the scene - I am married (although now I am seperated), and have been with my husband for 15 years, ever since we were 17 years old. I have never been with another man, and I never viewed myself as an attractive, sexual woman. It never occurred to me other men would find me
attractive. I think it would be fair to say I have a low self esteem, and suffered from eating disorders for many years.

2 years ago my husband and I discovered he was was unable to have children. He doesn't produce sperm as a result of a syndrome he has. We were both devastated, and it felt like our whole world fell apart. he became very angry with the world, and withdrew - working incredibly long hours. This wasn't that strange to me, he always worked very hard, and I felt alone alot of time, but his anger and working spiralled out of control.

I work at a large investment bank in a department dominated by men. At around the same time, there was a re-shuffle and my team got a new boss. I knew this guy vaguely but when he took over the team, he was very friendly to me. As a key member of the team, he told me relentlessly how wonderful I was at my job, and I needed to go permanent - this would send a sign to the rest of the team that if I believed in his capabilities enough to go permanent, they would trust and approve of him. Needless to say, I did not go permanent despite all the pressure, but he promised me that he and top management knew how great I was and he would do averything he could to make my working life easier (as it is incredibly high pressured). I was flattered and it felt amazing that someone was taking an interest in my career and well being. We became friends, and in hindsight, he did put me in quite compromsing situations, and 'confided' in me alot.

One night there was drinks after work, and he told me (in a platonic way) he thought was I was hot. I was completely bowled over, and flattered, as no one had ever told me that before. The friendship continued normally and I certainly did not think of him in any other way than my boss. He
was also married and had been with his wife the same amount of time.

Another night, another drinks! I had just come back from holiday and my boss (N) was emailing me from the pub relentlessly asking me to come down for a drink. It was my birthday, and my husband was working, so I went. We all got very drunk, and N and I walked to the train station together
and he kissed me. I was horrified at myself but excited at the same time. It had never entered my thought process that someone else would find me attractive.

After that initial kiss things escalated quite quickly. He bombarded me with text messages, and he sat literally 2 metres apart at work. He would email, message me and text me all day - saying the most amazing things. I had never felt so desired or sexy in my life. At this point I never
regarded it as a 'relationship', I was so caught up in all the attention he was pouring on me, I didn't really think of it as that serious. he told me that his wife and he lived separate lives, she went out every Thursday and Friday and slept out - he thought she was having an affair. He
told me that they could never divorce while his parents were alive, as they were strict Hindus and it would shame the family. I told him it wasn't too late to find happiness, he had alot to offer and I was sure his parents would rather he was happy. I never thought of myself as the person he would find happiness with - it was more like he was my best friend and we were sharing our problems, even though we were madly into each other. we met up for drinks and dinner often and he always initiated it. He was absolutely amazing and I started to feel like I was falling in love with him.

3 months into our affair, I woke up one morning and my eye was a little strange. By the end of the day I had gone blind in one eye. I went to see the doctor and was told I may have a brain tumour or MS. I had a brain MRI the next day. My husband was completely detached and didn't come with

me, or show any care. In contrast, N was there every step of the way. I was admitted to a brain hospital for treatment and N again, was my white knight. Whist my husband couldn't come to visit as he was working, N visited me 3 times a day and used to stay with me until I fell asleep. He used to text me things like 'Watching you sleep is the most beautiful thing I have witnessed in my life'. I was overwhelmed with the support and love he showed me. I went home, and suffered badly with headaches to the point I couldn't get food or walk. My husband was going out and working, and there often was no food in the house. N would order me food online and get it delivered. It turned out I had MS - something I am still trying to come to terms with.

N was training for the marathon and as time passed I noticed he became more obessed with it, and himself in general. Talking about himself, and it seemed he always had an ailment, and most of the conversations we were having involved me having to boost his ego. i didn't mind, I was
completely in love with him. He told me that his dad had beaten him up as a child, and his mother, and no-one in the family knew, not even his wife. I was the first person he told. I found that strange, but again, was flattered he felt he could confide in me. I noticed he started to be
less attentive, and seemed to not have as much time for me, but put it down to the marathon and all the training.

As time went on the gaps in the time we saw each other outside work became bigger and bigger. He seemed happy to exist in a 'virtual' world - texting, emailing and instant messaging me constantly, but liked to go out drinking with his work buddies alot of the time we could have seen each
other. It upset me, but I was determined not to be needy so said nothing. I went away on holiday and we were in constant contact. we arranged to meet up the day after I got back.

We saw each other and we were both excited. I bought him a present, and was surprised by his reaction, he kind of laughed at it and didn't appreciate it at all. He had a sore foot from all the running and was hobbling around. I was sympathetic but secretly thought he made a bit of a meal of it. We were lying in bed, and he was on his back, and it was annoying me that he couldn't make any effort to move or be close to me, so I jokingly said 'What is wrong with you? It's like you are on a pivot!' There was deadly silence, and it seemed like black shutters went down over
his eyes. He physically recoiled. I was dumbfounded. I said, 'What's wrong?' and he says 'If you don't know, then that is very sad, but it is the way it is'. I was in shock by his reaction, and told him I was only joking, but he continued to lie there in silence. I said, 'Do you want me
to go?' and he said I should do whatever I wanted. I told him I thought his reaction was completely over the top, and he launched in a tirade about how I wasn't stupid, I knew exactly what I was doing when I said that, and it was a bitchy thing to say. He didn't need me to 'rescue' him,
he was happy with himself and his life. I was floored by this outburst - it seemed like a compeltely different person, and I couldn't understand why he would just assume the absolute worst in me. We patched things up (kinda) and I left.

As time went on, the nastiness started to appear more frequently. I noticed he had 2 weeks booked off as holiday but didn't even tell me. Considering when I had gone away on holiday, he was devastated that I was 'leaving him' for 3 weeks, I felt quite hurt he didn't mention it. He
also was making no effort to see me, and he would often give me a silent treatment and I wasn't sure what I had done to upset him. I felt really hurt but ploughed on trying to make him feel good and special. At the same time my husband told me he wanted a sepration, and it felt like the two men in my life were disappaearing.

I was distraught about N because I felt like he was changing before my eyes and the person I knew was disappaearing. Instead of being the wonderful, king loving person I knew, he seemed really moody, and the slightest thing would set him off and I would get the silent treatment for days. It was always me taking the inititative and asking what was the wrong and trying to patch things up. He seemd to have this ability to just switch off and act like I was absolutely nothing and no one in his life. I told him my husband and iI were separating and he was cold and completely unsupportive. I went away with some friends for a week, and barely heard from him. When I asked him about it (over text), I would get
cold replies, which would hurt and frustrate me. I felt I was constantly putting my heart out there and it was being trodden on.

He went to Thailand with his wife, but continued to email me about 40 times a day. However when he came back (we hadn't seen each other for a month), he didn't seem to have time to see me - he always had something on that was more important. He seemed happy to live in a virtual world and text/email me all the time, but not actually see me. At the same time, we work together so I would see him everyday and we would act
completely normally around everyone else. I felt like I was going mad.

He is very vain, and constantly wanted me to comment on what he was wearing and tell him how good he looked. Sometimes we would meet up and have sex in the bathrooms at work, which was exciting at first, but then made me feel like he was happy to have that, and text me, but didn't really
want to see me in ordinary ways - like to have dinner. I remember, early on, when we were getting passionate, I put my hand in his hair, and he said 'Don't mess up my hair!'. I was shocked but mildly amused.

One day I won a track day through a raffle at the company. He was also going. Afterwards, he dropped me home, and came in - I was excited, it was the first time we had been alone for ages. He was moaning about the parking (he is obssessive about his Porsche). We had sex, and straight afterwards he got up, and said 'I have to go'. I felt so used and cheap, and I couldn't process what was happening. There was no reason he had to go, but he said it was because of the parking and did I really want him to get a ticket?

He went from texting me 30 times a day to completely blanking me for days at a time. However, when he was out and drunk, he would send me the most lovely texts, just like he was in the beginning. I couldn't understand the change in him. He came over one Friday night and we had a wonderful evening, the next day we were in communication as usual. The next day I heard nothing. Late on Sunday night I got a text saying 'Why are you so quiet?' - I was irritated and replied 'Not at all, why are you?' Then nothing.

The next day at work he completely ignored me. I messaged him and asked what was up - and he told me he didn't want to argue, if I didn't know what I had done then it was sad, but that was the way it was. I was completely confused and said - c'mon, this is ridiculous, let's go outside
quickly and talk about this, our communication methods suck, it is better to talk about it face to face. Finally he agreed, and we talked. He literally went ballastic at me, saying I had sent him the horrible text, and I was an actress and manipulator. No one had ever spken to me in the
way he did that day. He stormed off and said this wasn't going to work. In those situations I get completely flustered because I don't understand what is going on, and where it came from, and the stuff he was saying was completely different from what I thought - everything was
being twisted but he said it with such conviction I was baffled - did I really do all those horrible things? I must have if he believes it?!

I then sent him a message saying sorry (not sure why i did that), but I respected his decision, but for the record I had had the most amazing time with him and hoped one day we could be friends again. For two months we worked together in complete silence, he didn't acknowledge my existence,
and it was as if he had just deleted me from his life. I felt physically sick every day at work with anxiety.

Slowly he began to make contact again and would text me when drunk. I was confused - I didn't know what he wanted - to be friends again? I couldn't just act as if nothing has happened. Finally I asked him if we would meet to resolve things so I could move on, as we had to work together and it was unbearable. I needed to understand so I could have closure.

We met and he told me he was deeply ashamed of the way he treated me. He said he was so angry and couldn't control his rage and he was at a stressful time in his life and he hurt the one person he loved the most. he said he knew exactly how to hurt me and went for the jugular. I asked
why then he had ignored me for 2 months, and he said it was because he felt that if he was capable of treating me like that than I was better off without him. He begged for my forgiveness, promised it would never happen again and like a fool, I forgave him.

The next few weeks were amazing, like in the beginning. He was charming, open and we resumed having the most incredible sex I have had in my life. Cracks started to appear though - he was incredibly jealous, and if any other man talked to me in the office, he got angry, slammed his chair into the desk and would storm off and ignore me. Then he would get drunk and tell me it was because he didn't understand why I wanted to be with him, I could have anyone, and he was scared I would leave him. I spent alot of time and emotion telling him how wonderful and sexy he was, how much I loved him, blah blah. Then the old habits of not seeing each other started again. I told him I wasn't prepared to have a virtual
relationship, and it was doing my head in. One night he rang me (drunk), and he was all loved up, and told me he had been holding back on seeing me, not because he wanted to, but because he felt he couldn't, but he was over that now and he didn't want to discuss it. He said he wanted us to
have a date the following night, and discussed in detail what he would wear for me, and how we were going to have the most amazing night.

The next day he was messaging me all day saying I looked sick and I should go home early, and he would follow me. I was like an addict at this point - over the moon he wanted to see me, and so I went home, got dinner for us and waited for him to come. He came, and seemed in a big rush -
I stupidly thought it was because he couldn't wait to be with me. Oh no! After an hour, he tells me he has to go, and when I asked why, he said he had to go home. Subject closed. Again I felt like a cheap whore. Later on that night he phoned me and I didn't pick up. Then he text me
'are you ok?' - I waited a couple of hours and replied I was fine. later he told me that I had beahved like a bitch, and blanked him. I said no, I did reply to your text, and he said 'Well you may as well not have - it was so dismissive, you know it was blanking me'. Again I was gobsmacked
at how the whole was twisted to be my fault, when he was the one that had been a complete liar and used me.

Anyway, things have been getting worse and worse, and a few more things happened which made him go into a rage, call me names and ignore me. I find it unbearable that he constantly thinks the worst of me and try to rectify - constantly making excuses for his behaviour and trying to find
the guy I fell in love with. I don't understand why I have this addiction to this person who treats me so badly. It's almost as if I can't believe it's happening, and if I tell him how I feel, he will soften and see it from my point of view. He never does. He has said things to me
like 'You know, when we have these conversations we find that 99% of the time I am right'. I gave him a Christmas present and he didn't even say thank you. He has never once given me anything.

I feel like I am beginning to go insane, I am completely lost and confused and feel emotionally drained. Every thime I talk to him he twists it so I end up apologising. I don't understand what is wrong with me that I keep on going back for more. My family and friends say that it seems
like I have died inside. I have decided enough is enough and have found a new job, and am going to resign on Monday. I am very nervous about telling him, and I think he has an idea, because he phoned me on Friday (highly unusual) and I told him I really needed to talk to him on Monday.

He hasn't contacted me since and I fear the silent treatment has begun again.

I know he is a bad person, and married but I can't stop myself wanting him. I hate myself for it. It makes me feel so weak. I'm actually scared of what nasty thing he is going to say next, but then I tell myself he is just insecure, he does really love me etc etc. It's pathetic! I feel exhausted after 1.5 years of this rollercoaster, and feel beaten down. Yet addicted. I just don't know what he wants from me - he seems to be able to delete me so easily, and it hurts SO much. Anyway, sorry for droning on...only amonth to go and then I will be out of his life forever.

I know that he is too proud to ever contact me after that point, and I know that is a good thing, but it also makes me feel so foolish and discarded.

Feb 6 - 7PM
agnesmurphy17's picture


Please, tell us what happened? You handed in your resignation? And then what?
Feb 8 - 12PM (Reply to #13)
C_Cape's picture

The saga continues..

Oh goodness! Yes, I handed in my resignation, but that was hard work. He put me off all day, until I said it was urgent and couldn't wait. He got all emotional and accused me of leaving him, and I said no, it was an unhealthy situation and for my own sanity I had to leave as I couldn't take the roller coaster and blanking. He tells me that (here's the clanger) the reason he is so cold and doesn't want to see me is because when it is good it is amazing, and perfect, but then something always happens to mess it up, and he is scared the next time it will be over for good. So he would rather 'not go back to amazing' because he would rather have me a little bit than have a massive bust up and for it to be over. Nice! We ended up having a nice conversation and I left, feeling actually ok! Next day - completely ignored all day. In the evening, he was texting me saying it was so difficult and he couldn't imagine life without me blah, blah, - he sounded quite distressed so (as usual) I say 'We'll get through this, but we need to communicate...' Basically being all nice again, and trying to make him feel better. Next day blanked again. Next day - my team organises drinks for me. We all go out. We all get drunk. He is telling me how much he loves me, and is telling himself I am leaving because of my career. I tell him 'you can tell yourself that all you want, it isn't the truth'. Anyway, he tells me the time he has spent with me has been the best time in his life, blah blah. I am now feeling all happy, and go off to the toilet. I come back - he is gone. My friend tells me they had a massive fight and he stormed out. Didn't bother to tell me he was leaving. I text him to ask what is going on, he tells me he couldn't stay, otherwise he would have done something stupid. I say, but I thought we were getting on so well, why did you just leave me like that? (I kNOW!!! STUPID!) He then phones me up, and goes into a massive rage about my friend, and this morphs into another 'incident' where he thought I was lying, and he is raging at me about how someone is lying to him, and it is either me or my this other colleague. I say to him 'Are you actually saying you think I am lying'? Then he says no, he trusts me totally, the other person must be lying...and so it went on. Horrible. Next day! Acts all normal - nice even, telling me how amazing I look etc, as if the night before didn't even happen. Anyway, I went away for the weekend, barely heard from him, and it's back to work tomorrow for more :-( It is VERY DIFFICULT!
Feb 13 - 9AM (Reply to #15)
rache's picture

life without us

My ex S/N told me all the time he couldn't live without me,but,guess what?THEY say it to all the women.
Feb 10 - 7PM (Reply to #14)
agnesmurphy17's picture

Hang in there!

I would stop texting & talking to him. Business only. The work. When do you finally leave this place? The more he loses control, the more irratic his behavior will be. And, he's not making sense. He's doing the "all good" and "all bad" thing. Soon you'll be all bad to him & he'll really seek to destroy you & hurt you. Once it's over with an N . . . they want revenge. Be careful! Get away ASAP. Block him. Never look back. If you went through all the trouble to get a new job, don't continue this affair. He's going to want to. Right now he thinks your leaving may be a good thing because he can see you on the side still, but it won't be so intense as when working together.
Jan 30 - 9PM
ForeverLearning's picture

Thank You And Please Keep Coming Back Here!

Thank you for sharing your story. Yours is one of thoses stories that give me a terrible headache, only because I feel so terribly for what you have gone through. You are not alone. Follow all of Barbara's advice. I will say a prayer for your health, peace and happiness. Be glad you have found this website, it is a lifesaver in a sea of madness. I have swam in that same sea, just as you have, - think Julia Roberts when she jumps overboard in "Sleeping With The Enemy". We have all been residents of CRAZYLAND, and its hell clawing your way outta that place. Your Narc seems like he was pretty much a textbook, classic case. I learned so much from reading your story. Thank you again for the very detailed and helpful account of your 18 month roller coaster ride. Mine lasted 14 years and gave me cancer. I feel sure your experience contributed to your MS condition. Hopefully your health will eventually improve once you are free and clear of this man for good. I know that seems like a traumatic undertaking, but please continue to come here for support, and we can all lean on one another. You are a wonderufl person. The world needs you, the lives you touch are blessed in a positive way. I hate to think of you giving away anymore of your precious energy to this black hole of a man. Escape him and you will find peace once again. God bless you!
Jan 30 - 5PM
kamin's picture

Faking it

C_CAPE, I read your story. It is hard to imagine that there are men like that out there. He is just USING you for his own gratification. He pretends to like you just to satisfy his whims and then goes home to his wife to be a dutiful and caring husband and a good son to his parents. What a fake life ! DO NOT CONTACT him. Good that you got a job elswhere. You are in a very good job field.. investment banking. You can do it ! Just get out of this mess.. Get into therapy. I have been going thru therapy for the last 6 months and it has helped me tremendously. I am a single gal who has just been thru a traumatic experience with a mentally disordered individual and I am almost back on my feet and I am sure you can too. You can do it !
Jan 30 - 4PM
4joys4's picture

A good demonstration of the

A good demonstration of the circle of abuse. Get help now.
Jan 30 - 3PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Welcome C Capes

Welcome... get into therapy with a TRAUMA COUNSELOR IMMEDIATELY!!! - call a DV Center if you need to get an advocate ASAP to get this man completely out of your life - NOW. - get and read Lisa's book (link on right) it will help validate that this is in NO WAY YOUR FAULT!! - PLEASE take the time to go through ALL the pages on 'Message Board' as I have loaded it with articles and your questions have probably already been asked and answered many many times. Click through the pages and read what interests you. You'll get up to speed and learn a LOT BEFORE you ask questions. - PLEASE read the stories of others on SHARE YOUR STORY. This alone is one of the most validating things you can do! Far too many become completely wrapped up in their own drama... which just makes it all worse. It will also help you see the pattern of their INCURABLE PATHOLOGY!!! (I have atypical MS and I was an infertility patient for 12 years so our stories have many similarities!) - PLEASE take the time to read through our WHOLE blog: http://www.lisaescott.com/blog - chock full of articles about Ns and healing. Pay attention to the BEING UNDER HIS 'SPELL' article. It was not you - it was HIM!!!! - listen to our free radio shows - archived at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/allabouthim Remember this board is NEVER to be used as a replacement for therapy. Please find a therapist and start going as SOON as possible for whatever level of PTSD he's obviously left you with!! Get to a PTSD/ trauma counselor ASAP!!!!! You do NOT have an addiction - you were mind controlled and brainwashed!! PLEASE READ THE WHOLE BLOG for more on this! You will need support & help from a professional. Please get it ASAP. YOU did nothing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong. It is HIM who is NOT HUMAN!!! ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Jan 30 - 3PM (Reply to #7)
C_Cape's picture

Thanks Barbara

Thanks so much - this website is very helpful and will go through all the blogs as you suggested. I guess it is brainwashing - he always says to me 'I know you, better than you know yourself, and that scares you' His other favourite is 'I know you are lying, and whatever you say won't change my mind' - Charming!! I must say, I feel like a weight has been lifted already - he's been texting me tonight and already I feel more in control and less like I care! Thank you!!
Jan 30 - 3PM (Reply to #8)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

C Cape

block his number on your cell or change the number block his ims and emails NO CONTACT get a trauma counselor go to MY BLOG and read the 3 posts entitled "AM I UNDER HIS SPELL" and the other posts on BRAINWASHING! http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/04/18/youve-been-brainwashed-part-i http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/04/26/cultic-relationships ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Jan 30 - 12PM
agnesmurphy17's picture

Some Story

You have really been taken for a ride! Some 18 months! AN extra-maritial affair, brain tumor scare, MS diagnosis, infertility diagnosis, husband of 15+ years leaves, and being toyed with by a Narcissist jerk! Man! Good for you! Getting a new job is the first step to taking back your life! Send him an official letter of resignation. There's nothing to talk about. The thing is done. The letter speaks for itself. He will try to bring you into the harangue. And, believe me! Dude is going to freak! Beg you not to leave possibly! Promise you the sun, the moon & the stars. If you agree to stay, same old, same old . . . Devalue & Discard. And, you better be grateful when he condecends to have sex with you in the public toilet. If you're going . . . then go. Get a new phone number now, a new text message service, a new everything. Block him on everything. If he's a jerk, take out a restraining order. OR -- and you'll be lucky. He'll 'discard' you immediately & refuse to speak to you ever again. As if he fired you! This may hurt. But, no contact is really for the best. Hope he discards you immediately & never ever communicates with you again. In the States, he could very possibly lose his job for having sex with a subordinate. He's lucky you never called that precious wife of his & he is very happy with her (do not get involved). This is his life with his wife . . . a girl on the side. If not you . . . another & another. Sometimes two or more at a time. Take back your life. You have really had it bad. You need to be alone or have a supportive male in your life. The loss of your marriage must be devastating. Since 17 you have known the husband. Do not let your neediness because of failed marriage & MS diagnosis allow you to accept abuse. This is what the man is doing . . . abuse. That lovely charming man you fell in love with. He's never coming back. Only when he wants to be there. Only to get something that he wants. Don't fall for slot machine love. Keeping throwing money at the one-armed bandit because you have invested so much already. Maybe the big payout is just around the corner. You'll be in this for years until he finally decides to end it. He's in control. Not you. Getting rid of him puts you in control of your life again.
Jan 30 - 12PM (Reply to #4)
C_Cape's picture

Thanks so much or your

Thanks so much or your lovely reply - I honestly feel like I am quietly going a little mad, and it's so nice to know that maybe it's not me and he is a complete loser :-) I have a feeling the shutters will go down and he won't ever speak to me again, which hurts like hell, but I know it is the best thing. I feel like fool, and completely misjudged someone. I have obviously made some big mistakes, but only I can change that now, so here goes!!
Jan 30 - 3PM (Reply to #5)
agnesmurphy17's picture

Completely Misjudged?

Did you completely misjudge someone? No. I don't think so. Had he stayed Mr. Nice Guy . . . everything would have been perfect. Albeit, he had a wife & you were the mistress. But then, in the beginning, you had a husband. I'm not judging, but that was the deal. Actually, you were conned. The man is a con-artist. I, for instance, married my con-artist. How could I know that withing 3 months of marriage, he would start changing so dramatically? Had he stayed the way he was, with a few variations, would I have misjudged his character? Or, did mine hide his true character from me until he got from me what he wanted? They pull us in on something. I was lonely and wanted a quiet life at home & companionship. You were terribly disappointed & your husband was a workaholic ignoring you. They prey upon the emotionally needy. SOme women loose fortunes & years of their lives. Don't be too hard on yourself. You are moving on quickly.
Jan 30 - 12PM
rache's picture


Don't be so hard on yourself.Everyone is entitled to make mistakes.Now that you see this man for what he truely is and are doing a courageous thing by getting away you are on the road to recovering.It IS hard,i know-i am just beginning to be strong enough to totally go NO CONTACT.This is the only method to insure our survival and healing after involvement with these callous men who cannot ever truely love or empathize.You will get stronger as i will and like all the other wonderful women here.Hugs to you and best wishes.
Jan 30 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
Ellen's picture


Hi, When you explain it so clearly like you have it is easy for me to see how i got caught up to and how the denial kicks in about who this person really is and its made easy by the confusion of it all. I feel the devastation in everyones situation on this site. The first couple of months of no contact is so hard and you have lots to grieve about now. I'd resign and then not go in due to illness or something and stay well clear asap.