Compartmentalizing

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#1 Feb 23 - 8AM
peacewarrior
peacewarrior's picture

Compartmentalizing

I'd like to know what compartmentalizing is. The ex was diagnosed he compartmentalized and had no emotions.He was sent to a T who supposedly specialized in facilitating people recover emotions. He maintained he "did not effect anyone" and brainwashed kids that what they do and say "does not effect anyone". Even basic logic if a child is 45 minutes late her tardiness then caused the other kids who also needed to be picked up to be late, or her failure to be where she said, show up late, per the father did not effect anyone and then it caused missing dental appointments. He'd tell them they were being "accused of things they did not do". I did not know he was telling them crazy stuff. Overall he'd maintain "I did nothing to you" as if nothing anyone says or does has any effect on anything or no accountability.

Is compartmentalizing a cognitive dysfunction to be incapable of comprehending cause and effect or make logical and rational associations?

Feb 24 - 4PM
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

throwing a monkey wrench into their game.....

they're all about shaming and blaming...we are to blame for their behavior...we cause it... but once you talk to another victim and know that he behaved the very same way with her...and said the very same things to her....and blamed her the exact same way he blamed you...it really takes away a lot of their power.. it's a lot easier for them to define your reality if you have no other point of reference....the psychonarc never got over me talking to his exwife...he kept talking about how i had betrayed him!!..hahahahahahahaha...'how DARE you air our dirty laundry to my exwife!'.....yeah...how dare i..shame on me.....
Feb 25 - 1PM (Reply to #16)
peacewarrior
peacewarrior's picture

In my example about the high

In my example about the high schooler I left out the other pertinent information. The N/P told the child I and others "falsely accused her of doing things she did not do (invalidated reality)negating what I and other people driving said and then he followed by blame, projection telling herI/sibs/hired teen/aunt "they are angry (took our frustration with her/anger due to daily repetitionTHEY are angry, THEY don't want to pick you up from school..the N does...no one else does. He controlled her to only tell him when, where then gave us misinformation. This was long ago, yet the pattern of all interactions he cosntrolled getting off to control people pitted against each other. I and others implored this child to tell us directly and were clear about our intentions and need to know and she needed to tell us. It was another lie, brainwash, control, orchestrate and position others as the "bad person". Invalidate other people, negate what they said and take anything (anger) use it as "proof" to nail it to another it is everyone and not the P.The N P lied, blamed, projetecd villianized others disguising his self claiming, conning grandiose fiction as the saint.He lied to my fae about this daughter also. Only the P is a god, no one else has a shred of decency per the P. It was rare he ever car pooled them. Rage spiled forth years later he was entitled to claim he did "all for everyone and split reality and me to the opposite that I did "nothing". that became "proof" to set me up as insne liar. Their perverted drive to ontrol false impressions in pathalogic extremes, mirror their sick self onto others while laiming grandiosit to them has nothing to do with anyone else. No one matters..we are mere tools. Life was a psycholgical war zone. I see I still try to seek a reason still resisting it was intentional and all for his image to destroy people to oneanother and get away with pathalogical destrutive behavior. This P even pulled off blaming people projecting his pathalogical blame onto them. I was not ever going to get permission to exisst as a seperate person and the ontrol was to control identities
Feb 25 - 2PM (Reply to #17)
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

exactly!!......

i believe their ultimate goal is to completely destroy who and what we are....and to basicaally ABSORB us...like the Borg on Star Trek......the want to ASSSIMILATE us....and make us into actualy appendages....extensions of themselves...that they can completely control....we will think what they will us to think.....do what they will us to do...we will live or die at their whim...... they're sick nasty pieces of crap.....
Feb 25 - 2PM (Reply to #18)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

absorbing you

that one really threw me into a tailspin at first. when Psycho-Boy's California girlfriend finally called me to see if what he was telling her about me was true... she related some stories he'd told her about himself to check them out. And guess what - THEY WERE ALL THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME, not him... ME!!! He'd tweaked them just a tiny bit to make them fit but they were ALL things I remember telling him. Yes... the Borg... I was stunned. It was like someone had reached down my throat and pulled my soul out at the root. They create their own reality - often by using pieces of other's history to build that fallacy. And what's even more bizarre? They BELIEVE THEIR OWN CRAP. Not only do they steal our lives and souls... they are delusional enough to believe it and defend it to the death... any teeny encouragement of the TRUTH sends them into a psychotic rage... ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims
Feb 25 - 5PM (Reply to #19)
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

being absorbed.......

YES!!..same here....he was literally taking me over.....absorbing me....... when i met him...he had never collected anything but dust... i was an antiques and folk art collector....next thing you know....he was saying he was............ same with the dog and cat rescue....all of a sudden he was an animal rights advocate.....same with bluegrass music...the list goes on and on..... yes......he was taking on my personality...which he so claimed to despise..... he even had me dressing him!!...i was his stylist until i resigned....and he even took credit for my good taste...... ughhhhhhh............
Feb 25 - 10PM (Reply to #20)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

assimilated

I was even editing Psycho-Boy's articles for him. When one of his girlfriends called him on it, asking him if I helped him with his articles - he went postal! Just out of the blue called me a liar, etc. She just asked "I know your spelling and syntax is really bad... is Barbara helping you with your stuff?" just a simple question. Wonder who's doing it now? Wifey? another girlfriend - because there's no way he writes the long articles by himself and spell check doesn't pick up everything. Once I got out of dodge - he stalked my blog for months. A programmer friend verified that he'd copied my source code and was using MY old template - even after he'd sworn to me he thought blogs were stupid and wanted his own 'WEB PRESENCE' (he was just at CPAC in Washington, DC hawking his blog at a political meeting) and stalking me every place he could. When I finally called him out about it - he did the typical sociopath/narc nonsense of projecting and accusing me of stalking him. I didn't have a computer for 13 months after him so that wasn't possible. He said I was driving past his house... he lives more than an hour from me and I can't always drive long distances. These predators believe any lie said long enough & loud enough somehow becomes truth! ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims
Feb 26 - 6AM (Reply to #23)
peacewarrior
peacewarrior's picture

Soul retrieval

I was at Omega Institute for a workshop. I opened to a shamanic healing. the Shaman informed me I "could only withstand a partial soul retrieval"! Later I could quip "You know you are long over due for a divore when the Shaman tells you you can only tolerate getting half your soul back".
Feb 26 - 1PM (Reply to #26)
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

my soul.........

i figure i'll never get mine back....the psychonarc probably PAWNED it.....just like everything else he stole from me....... My blog
Feb 26 - 1PM (Reply to #25)
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

my soul.........

i figure i'll never get mine back....the psychonarc probably PAWNED it.....just like everything else he stole from me....... My blog
Feb 26 - 1PM (Reply to #24)
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

my soul.........

i figure i'll never get mine back....the psychonarc probably PAWNED it.....just like everything else he stole from me....... My blog
Feb 26 - 6AM (Reply to #21)
peacewarrior
peacewarrior's picture

Assimilated

This is profound Barbara: I was stunned. It was like someone had reached down my throat and pulled my soul out at the root. The day my ex was deposed for the divorce I heard for 7 hours how he was me and per him I guilty of what he did not do and his pathalogical behaviors. On top of that I listened to him assign his pathological behavior to other people. I had prepared myself for the worst and I have a big imagination. the new lies rocked me to the core. People think it's a nightmere if someone steals your identity ruining someone's credit. There were no words to describe someone sitting and professing devoted "love, concern " for you claiming he wants the marriage as he assassinates you, claims your existence, talents, work,entire life looting your personhood then smiles exuding charm as he mirrors, projects with twists. Then outside of that room, reeling, severely trauma by others abhoring you with their blatant revulsion no one believes you the N/P did that for he's set it up you "insert words in his mouth" and you "make things up" about him. I don't think I will ever get over no one cared if this annihalation was committed nor wrongful condemnation I am guilty of crimes I did not commit and his pyschopathology. I could reason if I got a court record of the deposition then people could read and know I am not making anything up nor did I..this man did say those things about me and to me. Day after day I'd receive a phone call (for 18 months) from one person the N/P told truth to about me, my competencies and higher abilities telling her/them to get me to do such and such..I am good at that.I was to do all to ready the house for sale, all the work, minor repairs, paint, yard work/curb appeal..I to make all the decisons also due to my good taste. Then I'd get a phone call from a lawyer tellng me the ex told them I "am insane, don't function, am psychotic..all I do is destroy the house, do NO maintenance...I'd get a call from the offspring crying asking me why I "deny" my behavior..dad told them I am severely mentally ill..fix things that aren't broken in the house...in fits of "manicy". While the ex is hiring the same workmen for his new house spending tens of thoussands of dollars including gutting a kitchen he's telling people I am "manic" because the tile floor at the house is in bad shape and potential buyers want an absurd reduction to replace it....then he tells people I am "insane". Those workmen he's hired..he sits lying they are "predators..who engaged me in lies to "get all the money".Over and over the ex stated others are mentally disturbed people who prey and lie to get the money..I go around engaging people in pathalogical lies. This...diabolical man who said "heh kids, let's take mom to dinner for getting published in a magazine"..felt so good under oath pathlalogically lying..I had "destroyed" the house (published for design work in the house), spinning I am insane..engaged another mentally woman and together we conned the magazine..."psychotic and depraved". It is...rape to learn a person had you do all the work, transform the yard to look "the best it had ever" per others and learn he engaged people in pathalogical lies he did it all and you lie claiming you did things you did not do. I felt like Dr. Richard Kimball..no one would believe me and no one cared to check out the facts. It amounted to psycholgical torture. He was a master isolating people and control what they knew. After another two years of this I had paralyzing PtSD..frozen terrified to ever do anything again. Mentally you know you'be been murdered off, your identity consumed, your heart, soul, entire life and the death sentence is done. Before this I did not know that even going to a gym or a doctor could be used to annihalate a person. It is a wonder I recovered as much as I have. Any person not sucked in by him he destsroyed them to others as well.
Feb 27 - 11AM (Reply to #22)
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Assimilation

I was once married when I was very young to a nice man. We were crazy & mixed up kids. But, he was wealthy. When we divorced, his lawyer told my lawyer: "Mr. X wants his wife to specifically be told, he has been very generous thoughout the marriage." True. And, we had a fine divorce & remain friends to this day some 15 years later, after the divorce. I told my N this story. One of the last times I heard from my N, he writes in an e-mail: "I have been very generous to you throughout the marriage." I almost lost it. It was HORRIFYING! ABSOLUTELY HORRIFYING! He was assuming the identity of my first husband even! Really sick & twisted. Sounds like you had all that horror, over & over & over! So sorry.
Feb 24 - 4PM (Reply to #11)
curlybrown
curlybrown's picture

speaking to the ex

When I spoke to his first wife of 18 years ago. She was shocked that things hadn't changed with him. She attributed his selfishness to being young. She felt bad for me since I am pregnant just as she was when he first left. She was 6 months as I am now. He came back when their daughter was born just to leave 3 months later. He doesn't know that I have spoken to her or their 17 year-old daughter who calls him by his first name as she doesn't feel he was ever really a father to her.
Feb 24 - 4PM (Reply to #13)
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

my sympathies to you

i'm so sorry that you're pregnant and having to deal with the Narc....the psychonarc is now 60..and through detective work, i've discovered that he was doing many of the same things he did to me....and even saying many of the same things he said to me when he was 20....if they ever change at all...it's only to become even worse....
Feb 24 - 4PM (Reply to #14)
rache
rache's picture

WORSE!

mine is 66 and they get sicker and more demented!!!!!!!!!DEVIANT behaviors
Feb 24 - 5PM (Reply to #15)
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

SO TRUE!!

the psychonarc has gotten worse with every passing year..sometimes he seemed to get worse by the day.. it seems like doing evil is like a drug to them....and they have to keep doing nastier and nastier things...sinking lower and lower to get their high.....
Feb 24 - 4PM (Reply to #12)
serene69
serene69's picture

On telling the ex

Speaking to an ex is a brave decision and I think deciding to tell the N that one has, can depend on how extreme the N is. When I spoke to the ex of mine, she asked me if I wanted him to know we had spoken. She said that several times in the past women had contacted her, and when he had found it he had texted/emailed abuse to them and had threatened them, but had never ever done anyone any harm. She told me that in fact he was a complete chicken when it came down to confrontation. I decided to tell my N once I knew this, and also because I knew it was likely that this would make him leave me alone. I was still weak enough that even though i knew he was no good for me, even though I tried to ignore him, if he contacted me I could not ignore it. by making him so angry by contacting his ex, effectively I made him ditch me (frankly because he is scared I think that I know too much and I know what he really really is.) But I can imagine some Ns could get very violent in a similar situation.
Feb 24 - 8AM
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

another one that resonates with me..........

the psychonarc is a master of compartmentalizing...pre need... i don't remember if i posted about this here....but the psychonarc..years before he ever began to beat me, had told everyone he could think to tell that i was insane...had been institutionalized repeatedly...and if i were to ever make claims that he was beating me or trying to kill me..or that my home, business, etc were MINE...that they were to not believe me...and to contact him immediately..... one of the first rages he ever flew into was when i one day innocently called my father in law about a matter that had nothing to do with the psychonarc whatsoever...he went completely off his rocker when he found out about it.... 'don't you EVER contact any of MY family about anything without first getting my permission!'.. having his cover blown was and is his worst ans probably only fear...that's why i try to blow it every opportunity i get........
Feb 23 - 8AM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

compartmentalization

Compartmentalizing - in simple terms - is putting everything in "little mental boxes" - be it people, things, etc. be incapable of comprehending cause and effect or make logical and rational associations? Whether this comes before or after or because of compartmentalization is impossible to say. Narcissists are already severely disordered, incurable and have brain & chemical abnormalities that can't be overcome, nor do they want to try. Narcs are severely delusional. They do NOT possess a "through-line" of reality. They believe what they say AS THEY ARE SAYING IT even if it changes 3 minutes later. Reality is fluid to them - it's whatever they want it to be and they can choose to remember or forget at will whenever it's convenient or useful for them. This is why so many Narcs and Psycho/Sociopaths easily pass lie detector tests. And why it is dangerous to try to explain their disorder to them or call them on their lies - because they may become aggressive and harm you. An example of compartmentalization is the married Narc who has 2 or 3 or more girlfriends going. Not one knows about the other and when the Narc is with one - the others don't exist. If they do exist he does things to be SURE they don't meet, speak or share information. He considers himself entitled and telling the truth to each for the time he is with them. Out of sight, out of mind and back in the little box. Hope this helps ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims
Feb 25 - 1PM (Reply to #8)
rache
rache's picture

Little boxes

YES! IT HELPS-explains old man PSYCHO deviate to a letter.
Feb 23 - 8AM (Reply to #2)
serene69
serene69's picture

That's why they seem to

That's why they seem to really hate it when the 'boxes' do communicate it seems to me. The fury that was unleashed by my ex N when I contacted his ex partner was unbelievable. He lost his power in some ways over both of us when we were able to talk, compare stories about him. It was two people talking who knew he is a fake.
Feb 23 - 8AM (Reply to #3)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

their rage

oh yes, Psycho-Boy... exNH... NarcMom... the Socio I dated in college... two ex-Narc friends... they all went into a destructive rage about me once I figured them out and/ or talked to other victims and compared notes. Some of this rage goes on today. I have had my life, my children's lives threatened. Psycho-Boy's wife helps him crap all over me because she believes everything he said. I've been stalked, spoofed and a billion other things. All said I am still glad to know and tell the truth. ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims
Feb 23 - 10AM (Reply to #7)
rache
rache's picture

we're soooooooooo much

better off by not being around these raging lunatics,aren't we? I would never want to be so desperate for a man(like your exes wife)to trust his lies! I would of been so darn happy for one of his exes to tell me about the old freak,but,he kept it well hidden-the old psycho.You know something?PEOPLE down home said my dads nickname was jim "RAGER" for the rages he took! Interesting,hugh?
Feb 23 - 9AM (Reply to #4)
serene69
serene69's picture

Telling the truth

I knew it was taking a risk when I contacted the ex - but I just had to do it - to talk to someone else that I guessed must know the real him, so I didn't feel like I was going crazy. At the time she said did I want him to know we had talked. I could have said no to this - but decided to. The ex told me that he would threaten me etc if I did tell him, but that he had done this several times in the past to other women when she had been with him and they had contacted her - but that actually he was a real chicken when it came to real confrontation, and had never resorted to any revenge. So I did tell him - and of course got a battering by text. But I was strong enough to know all the things he called me are actually him - sad,a loser, creep etc. It was not nice to hear these things but god I felt so much better to have talked to the ex, and hear all his history. I have friends who have worked with him, and I told them too - showed them the texts etc - and they totally agree he is a nut case. Yes, I am glad to know and tell the truth too.
Feb 24 - 8PM (Reply to #5)
MsVulcan500
MsVulcan500's picture

I think hearing it from an

I think hearing it from an ex validates your feelings even more. We all post on here, and while the stories are similar, the patterns are similar, we are not speaking about the same person. If you talk to an ex of his, you are then comparing apples to apples, you are talking about the same narc. I would love to talk to my narc's last ex-wife. She's the only one he claimed cheated on him and left her 2 year old son with him. I always thought she was the lowest life form leaving her toddler for a man. But now, while I don't condone cheating, I can certainly understand how he could have driven her to it. And she's been with this man ever since, 17 years or so. I think that speaks a little for her track record. I also now wonder what the real circumstances were for her leaving her son. I wonder if it was really her choice. I hope I get to know someday, but for now, and maybe always, I will just have to think that it was not totally her decision.
Feb 25 - 3AM (Reply to #6)
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

the ex

i think you can count on anything him saying about his ex being a carefully edited half truth or an outright lie..i finally found out that mine had been pitting me against his ex all along.....they'd been divorced for almost three years....but he was still stringing her along...even after marrying me.....he was telling me how he was forced to marry her....he was telling her how he married me beacause he was 'afraid' of me....setting me up as a whack job.....he was going over to his exwife and 'confiding' in her....about his horrible marriage of three or four months to me..while telling me about the horrible marriage he'd been in with her!...he was telling me how she just 'refused to let go'..but in fact it was him who wouldn't let go of her...even borrowing money from her for booze... they're all scum........all of them........