Covert narcissist?

Hi everyone,

My ex broke up with me 4 weeks ago. We had been together for over a year and were talking engagement. We fought a bit as I used to feel insecure and was worried he was falling out of love with me... he said I doubted him too much and he didn't like that - hence he eventually gave up on me. Fair enough.. however he did so coldly and without looking back.. just 2 weeks after standing in my parents house telling me he was clinging to me, I was amazing and he loved me and wanted to propose in a few months on our first overseas holiday in Jan).

Now the reasons I am thinking narc...
- he is 29, has never worked full time, spend 1 year post high school sitting in his room taking drugs and making music, then progressed to taking more serious drugs and playing in bands.
- At 25, he grew up (a bit) and returned to uni.. at which time he became haughty and arrogant (i didn't know him then, but by his own admission, others commented that he was). He got into medicine and ever since has been riding high on the status of being a "medical student"
- he has no social skills, no real friends, no real connection with his family - despite telling me his family is the most important thing to him when we first met - nb: i'm really family oriented and social.
- he is robotic
- he is very focused on how he looks, and very focused on the fact that i am beautiful - initially he went on and on about it.. however as time went on, he noticed me less... i was initially a trophy he showed off... more recently it seemed like he didn't care as much.
- he was initially very passionate, and wanted sexual contact all the time, however as time went on, he started to always have "headaches" "stomach aches and was too tired all the time... we literally had sexual contact once a week at most.
- he compared me favourably to his ex.. yet talked about her all the time initially - initially he told me she was a nympho who cheated on him and was involved with bad people... however as time went on it turned out she was upset with him for the same reasons as me - lack of responsibility, lack of interest in doing things with her, more into his own pursuits.
- the biggest warning bell - I earn a good income, and he earns nothing - he studies and doesn't work (too lazy) and his parents pay for him to leave in a beachside apartment and whenever he has spare money he spends it on himself - coffees, musical instruments. now since we have been going out - after a few months, i became the sugar mummy. as I am 29 and successful, i started paying for about 75% of our expenses.. including paying for a 2 week holiday overseas. he told me when he gets a job, he will buy a $10k musical instrument... rather than pay me or his parents back.

after he dumped me, he literally went cold. i said i'd collect my stuff - he dumped it in a pile befote i got there (the day after we broke up) and on top was the flight itinerary - that i have paid for with no mention of paying me back for his part... i tried to speak with him multiple times and he won't answer my calls or return my emails / texts. 3 weeks have passed with nothing from him.. and yet 5 weeks ago he told me he loved me more than anyone in the world... :( it hurt me so badly. he knows how upset i am, how emotionally fragile i am, and yet he ignores me totally.

What do you guys think? does this sound like idealisation / devaluation / discard? he was extremely "over the top" when we first met - wanted to see me every single minute, said he'd quit medical school for me - he didn't need anything if he had me... he told me he was so lucky to be with me.

AmiHurt