Difficult to give up Hope

Good Day Ladies,

I just wanted to write a quick post about hope, and how difficult it is to give up hope that our PDI's will change and/or will seek therapy to deal with their mental illness. And please don't kid yourselves, personality disorders ARE mental illnesses.

I can't even count how many times I've broken NC - sending my ex-PDI letters, texts, videos, articles, etc. I even went so far as to buy a book about his disorder & highlighted the parts that applied to him, knowing that he would never be bothered to read the entire book. So I did all the work for him by highlighting the parts I thought he needed to read, then dropped off the book in his mailbox. I begged and begged and begged him to go to a counselor, either with me or on his own. I tried to educate him on the disorder and what therapies are available to help him deal with it and recover from it. I explained that I still loved him despite his disorder and that I always would, but that there was simply no hope of us getting back together unless he was willing to do the counseling thing. I did this stuff for an entire YEAR!

Bottom line: he's still in denial about his condition & still tries to tell me that it's me who has the problem. He simply refuses to acknowledge that it's him and chooses to continue living in denial.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you all that I KNOW how hard it is to give up hope. But I finally have & you can too. I don't send letters and videos anymore; no more books and articles. I grew tired of wasting all my time, energy and money "beating a dead horse." He can stay in denial all he wants now. I've got better things to do with my time.

Do yourselves a big favor & don't even bother going through all the trouble that I went through, because in the end, it'll probably end up that it was all for nothing.

The white flag is out and I have surrendered - his denial has won this battle and I have officially given up hope!