Do all N's cheat?

My exhusband never cheated....He is a perfectionist...who feels he is high above everyone....superior!!!! If he had cheated that would have ruined his perfect persona...he always did everything properly...so straight laced it was sickening...and quite freakin boring!!! But along with his perfect persona he had to cut others down to make him so superior... He always bragged how lucky I was to have him because he was so loyal to me...and that no one would ever love me like he did...then he would folllow it up with how I couldnt cook, I was lazy, too fat or too thin, my makeup was too heavy or too light, I was dumb, .....if it werent for him I would be nothing!!! GAG ME ASSHOLE!!!! They all abuse in some shape or form...we have 3 children together so i still have to see him and he STILL has to throw digs my way...Am I affected by them? Unfortunately yes...he knows how to press my buttons...Im working on that!!! So do they all cheat...in some way they do, he did CHEATED ME out of a life of true love and respect!! I guess there are different ways of cheating!!!

mine never cheated with me, but i know he did with his first wife, she told me.Some do and others don't all types like in anything.

We know that most of them cheat and that is on them not us. They lack spirituality, morals, and common human decency. This is Christmas. Put it behind you for just one day and concentrate on something beautiful in your life. Just one thing for now. They are not worth your spit today. They are robbing you of the Holiday spirit and letting in the love and goodness of those who do truly love you. God bless, Goldie

I never caught mine cheating, but, knowing he's a narc, I wouldn't put it past him. A good rule of thumb is to assume they all cheat, that they all have it in them to betray their significant others in that most hurtful of ways.

Part of their sick, sadistic, twisted little game is never giving you the validation that they did or didn't. Weeks, months, years from now you may run into someone or fall across something that is proof they can't gaslight you out of if given the opportunity. If you don't have proof and believe they didn't, it is FAR, FAR better to hold that belief and keep moving on. The discovery, like each new uncovered lie, just causes more pain and triggers obsessive thinking. Much love...

Mine was a cerebral narc....and no they were not just friends...he was cheating. OMG - all of the texting,lunch & dinner dates, drinks at the bar. Mine was having emotional affairs at the very least. I go to bed early, and would often find him up during the early hours watching porn. My ex is very intelligent in many aspects. He had me believing for the longest that he would never do such a thing.

But now certainly don't bank on that meaning she didn't. At one stage in the relationship I told her I had a feeling she was cheating. I don't know if I was picking up on something that she had done or if it was just a general feeling of her basic dishonesty I was picking up on. I am going to get another HIV test tho (she and I both had tests done during the relationship and were fine). I think cheating would mean nothing to her...she wouldn't have felt guilty...she'd only have worried about being caught damaging her image.

did as far as i know and we spent 15 years together, he had the best sex ever he would say and he had horrible low self esteem issues so why bother when you have a good woman there whenever you need her. He did cheat on one of his wives she told me............

things started to fall apart because he met somone and wanted to get to know her, he knew I wouldnt have it. He stayed but when we did split a year and a half later guess who he called

My CN is very monogamous. Cerebral's are into intelligence and financial success. They are not prone to being playboys. Mine had a low interest in sex even though we had fantastic chemistry and sex with each other..I had to initiate it though :(...I had players in the past so I know I would be the first to see the signs and be suspicious. His adult daughter eluded to me that he is a one woman family type of man..I do see that in him. Now, he was a mechanical engineer among many other professional titles. I have known several engineers and they were not that interested in romance too much either. So, between being a CN and an engineer type, maybe that helps...Somatic N's are prone to be big playboys..I had one in my life about 30 yrs. ago...

I am sure you were kept in the dark. They can not help themselves. Mine didn't cheat for 14 years, or did he? Was she the first? At first I thought so, but now, with all I know and have learned, it's almost impossible for them not to. Telling you that it is impossible to get away with anything, that you catch him in everything he does is for his benefit. If he convinces you of that, than you are assured he isn't or hasn't cheated. They are smart, cunning, and know exactly what they are doing at all times. Like master chess players.......they have played the game a lot longer, long before we even entered into their lives.

The ex narcky did not cheat physically but he was out grooming zillion women. So flirting, chasing around, fake romance promises etc etc he is surely guilty of. The feeling of hurt when your narc tells many ow that he loves them etc is not any lesser than he sleeps with them. So, ladies emotional cheating is not any less severe. Dont sleep around dont mean he is any good. U will see a spade as a spade only if u stop defending him.

Keep perspective, move forward, give up all hope of ever returning to "normal" with this exN. Mine never openly cheated on me but I used to have nightmares that he was cheating on me (the subconscious knows the truth). I told him about the dream and he did not say anything! he always hid everything from me but as a mature professional woman who did not live with him, I had no time or interest in snooping on him..so I was perfect trusting GF

Narcissist = pathological lair = cheater. I think they really go hand in hand. Totally dependent variables. My N cheated on my and it still haunts me to this day. He is still with the girl, the OW at the time. I think she is completely clueless. Why do they cheat? They have no shame. No guilt. Are selfish, only care about themselves and don't think/care of the impact that it has on their partner. They constantly need that supply and ego boost. My friend said that a Narcissist will cheat if someone is giving them attention. Say if they were in a bar, they N won't even think twice if the right opportunity/woman presents itself - not even because you, the girlfriend or wife, weren't being a good partner, tending to their needs. Just AT THAT TIME, someone else was telling them they are good-looking, flirting, etc - it's like the N can't resist. While I was with my Ex, I constantly worried about what he was doing, who he was with, who he was texting/calling/messaging.... deep down inside, I never trusted the man. I caught him doing inappropriate actions related to infidelity/cheating but it was like talking to a brick wall. Everyone was in love with him, poor him (sarcastic).

Narcs are very Bill Clinton....depends on what their definition of cheating is. As someone who had an emotional affair with a Narc I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that if he is doing things with other women, keep your eyes open. They will manipulate with semantics....which is stupid, but it's what they do. Beware.

Without a shadow of a doubt!!! If you are one that thinks your N or sociopath is different consider the following: 1-You just don't know about it (THE COVER-UP is Truly INCREDIBLE) 2-You are believing the lies (THEY ARE SO GOOD AT IT,you can't tell a lie from the truth) 3- Rationalizing your doubts (THEY ARE JUST FRIENDS) bullshit 4- Found evidence that you can't prove.(You didn't catch them in bed, you weren't in the room..... maybe he did sleep on the couch) OMG...really ??? 5-You notice that he/she hides their cell phone or spends extend time in the bathroom...HMMMMMM....Who is he texting ??? (FRIENDS,COLLEGUES,CLIENTS) Bullshit !!! Ask to see the phone....you will get an argument... you will not get the phone...(BTW consider they may have 2 phones) If you pull their phone bill that will tell all,if you choose to believe that the phone # showing 50 times a day is not a friend in need, a colleague with a problem or a client that needs to talk. It IS the OW/OM. BTW, N would shut down his phone for the entire time we were together, I had suspicions of him cheating but I thought what other woman would tolerate not being able to reach him for 12 to 24 hours. I bought into it. BIG MISTAKE!!! He had a few... he was using the silent treatment on them so it was easy for him to keep his phone off and make me believe I was soooooo special that he didn't want anyone to interrupt our time together. Classic Narc move......VOMIT !!!! If in doubt surveillance them for a period of time. I say a period of time because part of the game is to be on good behavior for a while to gain your trust and once he knows you have bought the lie, they are off with OW. Guaranteed. They are cheaters, not with one...with many!! I believe there are no exceptions, it is part of their make-up and part of their disorder. Some with less supply, some more and the circumstances may be different but with all the research I have done lying, manipulation, brainwashing and CHEATING !!! seem to be a common application. Those of you who think yours is different, check them out but be ready for the whip lash. Sometimes we don't want to check them out, we choose to ignore the red flags or listen to our gut instinct....... because we don't want to see/believe the truth. (Its a harsh truth, remember we love this man/woman and want it to work out) THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE !!!! This is my experience. Hugs to all.... Stay Strong.... Stay NC.... we have to WIN ! !!!

The ex-Psych didn't cheat on his LDR girlfriend with me sexually. Our relationship never got to the romantic stage. I never even saw his apartment. However, he did try to pass himself off as a philosopher... when he believes philosophy is meaningless (and calls it Quietism) He called himself an expert on St. Augustine's "Confessions" and he spent my senior oral examination giving ST&fidgeting. He claimed to be an expert on Wittgenstein, I bought Wittgenstein books... yet not once did we talk about Wittgenstein, since he'd give ST or change the subject. He was a cerebral Narc, and he fessed up to a masturbation habit. That's how he cheated. He was fishy, instead of being on Plenty of Fish.

My exH I think was a narc and he never cheated but maybe he wasn't a narc, he didn't need supply, had me and the kids and his family and he was content. He was verbally abusive and had major anger problems and that is why I left. My first relationshit after that was with ExN boyfriend, he needed constant attention from women, I had no idea during the idealization phase though, not a clue, we were together almost every day but slowly once I was hooked and living in his house temporarily while my house was being finished, the mask dropped and he was out looking for supply. I caught a woman at his house one week after I moved out. He said she slept in the other BR and denied ever cheating on me. That was the beginning of the end, could never trust him again. To this day he denys ever cheating on me, he was really really good at hiding it and finding a way apparently, must have hidden it from his wife for years. They are sneaky, lying devils but some probably do not cheat. Mine was a sex addict and functioning alcoholic (all of which was hidden during the first 6 months plus).

Most times. A man is only going to do what a woman will allow him to do.

fairly sure he never cheated with me, he has such low self esteem and the sex was great with us, but do know he did cheat with his first wife with a mutual friend she told me that.........

cerebral/somatic = cheating in their head/cheating in the raw. The xN was cerebral...and for the record, viewing porn is a form of cheating. The physical act of cheating is always preceded by the mental act...always. He was in a squad all night with his cell phone and unaccountable/untrackable the majority of the time. I never caught him, but I'm about 110% convinced he was working the crowd at all times.

I'm a little confused. Don't you consider inappropriate dinner dates/lunches cheating? In my view cheating doesn't have to be the actual sexual act. My ex cultivated NS wherever/whenever he could get it with his "nobody understands me, pity me" (him) act so always had "platonic" female friends. Now realise that they were just reserves waiting in the background for the ST periods during our relationshit. He purposely created all the dramas leading up to STs so that he would have the excuse to be with them. I feel that cheating of any kind is part of the N's essential make up. Dee x