Do the tears ever stop?

This is my first day on this forum, I am so greatful to have found this site. I guess my story isn't all that different for anyone elses. I was married for 6 years to a very controlling man, right after my divorce I met the Narcissist...he was everything my ex-husband wasn't and for the first time I felt wanted, I felt like he saw me, accepted me just as I was and he said he loved me that he wanted to marry me once the divoce was finalized (I had the papers) and for almost a year everything was great...but then slowing things changed he grew distant and I tried harder to be "perfect", but always came up short. He would disappear for a few days or we would fight and he would say he couldn't be with me it was too much stress. But within a few days he would call or text that he missed me that he loved me and wanted to be "us" again. It wasn't until I did something I swore I never would - I went through his phone, I found text messages to several girls...talking about cuddling and seeing them wet. One girl referred to herself as his better half. I confronted him, he said that we were rocky and he was afraid to be alone that he really didn't want to be with them. He said he would no longer have contact with them. But new years eve he told a mutual friend that he was with this other woman and that he and I were over - I didn't even know. This whole time he was in between jobs, I paid for his cell phone, gave him money for rent and a car...he used me I guess.

A few weeks later he came around again-I told him he should go be with her if that's what he wanted he said he only wanted me, and that yes he started to develop feelings for her and called it off-that I was who he wanted to be with. Later I found out she was gone for 7 months to bootcamp-he posted on his FB "7 months and my life will be back where I want it to be" he tried to tell me that was related to getting back on his feet, deep down I knew it was for her-I am no longer linked to him but he and her are "friends" - she is supposed to come back in June and I wonder if they will be able to make the relationship work. He was with me while with her using us both, but he stated the "life he wants" which makes me feel even more worthless.

I found him on sex sites (he took pictures of himself in MY bathroom and posted them on these & dating sites)- he brushed it off as no big deal. I told him I would not compete with other women for him he wants them he can have them. I went a week without talking to him, he promised to let go of the need for other girls...he said he couldn't imagine me with anyone else and can't stand that he hurt me, he said he felt the world getting dark and maybe it was best if he just ended his life...Yep, I'm a sucker cause he came over-I tried to be a friend...he left within a hour he had an emergency with a female friend. He texted me shortly after stating, he would never be able to be close with someone and let someone in, that he just wanted us to be friends. That was two weeks ago he texted last Monday asking me not to ignore him and sent some sexual pictures...who does that to a friend??? I haven't heard anything since so almost 2 weeks since I saw him and a week N/C.

I cry daily-not sure like many women on here if I am labling him to help myself, but I don't understand what happened the promises all the sweet words and then he just changed and now she returns in June and they will get to live the happy life he promised me.

Where did I go wrong?? Sorry for writing a novel, I didn't expect to it just kept coming.