Do they forget about you? Confused

Unless they NEED you, they have zero use for you. ZERO! My exN was told by others for years, how lucky he is to have me. All of his friends respect me, and think Im great. His family adores me as well. His son, thinks Im so fun, and also loves when I use to occasionally stop by. (I stayed out of his sons life intentionally, I never wanted to feel attached to him, so when I left it would be easier for me and his son) Now you have to imagine tho, Im being compared to his ex who is also a little crazy herself and after she left 4 years ago, he would only have sexual relationships with people, he would never spend time with them. Either way, he is taking a beating right now, being told by people how stupid he is for losing me. He is also playing the victim and acting as tho he cant understand why I would leave, and why cant we be friends. None of this is said to me, its all cleverly relayed. My point is he still has "use" for me, so my name pops in his head frequently. At some point he will no longer have "use" for me, and move on. Yes, I get sad, as proven yesterday, but as weve established, crying is also healing and these men never ever ever ever ever ever change.

when I asked him a few months ago when we still had contact "do you ever think of me"? His answer was: "all the time"...but he meant sexually, he said that he remembered when I would do this for him or that for him...not that he was thinking of me and missing me. He has his long distance gf living with him now, so I'm sure I'm very much forgotten since she is there everyday to take care of his needs now.

My understandiung is that N's only register persons who are useful. That is, if there is something which can be extracted. Admiration, sex, money--whatever. When they have found a new source, they do not think of the discarded. But, I think that when things do not work out for them, they remember the good source which once existed. If they have a vacancy, they check in again to see if maybe they can get some of the good stuff-admiration, sex, etc. It's all on the off chance. I know during my marriage, my husband contacted his ex-girlfriend to see if they could be friends. He was unhappy in the marriage & I think he felt a longing for her good qualities which I did not possess & he felt he needed, wanted, derserved. I often felt that my husband wanted me to embody the best qualities of the ex-wife & the ex-girlfriend. He would ask me to do things they did for him. Ex-girlfriend had studied drama. There are role playing exercises. He wanted me to play roles & acting like he did with her. I said, no way. he would often say, ex-wife or ex-girlfriend did x, y & z. You should too. Very insensitive. This is because I was just an object to him . . . not a unique person. I existed to serve him. I was like his arm . . . part of him to do as he willed. SO, can one ever really forget that which is a part of oneself? I am sure that when times get bad for him, he'll remember a few good things which made his life more comfortable. Like breakfast muffins. I know after I left him . . . everytime I heard from him, it corresponded with when his supply left town & he was a a loss what to do with himself. But now he has a new woman in the house . . . so he's occupied sufficiently. May hear if they start fighting. Maybe not. I am the only woman who ever left him. Left a bad taste in his mouth.

It's completely confusing, isn't it? I don't get it either.

Ns compartmentalize everything. They forget you... as long as its convenient for them. and if they feel they can get more from you - they 'remember' you and go back and open that box. Normal people can't comprehend this because we don't think this way. ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims