Does anyone know how to "explain" this disorder to these men? Is there a website they can refer to?

In his eyes he's GOD.................. how could any person even think of hinting he isn't. Nope he's not going to listen to anyone with such stupid ideas that he's not PERFECT. There's noting anyone could enlighten his Godly self with, whatever you give him to read he will criticise the author and tell you he could write it better, about these others with a disorder.

If i was going to give a book to a narc, (But dont count on him getting it or reading it.) it would be Sam Vaknin maglignant self love. A look inside the mind of a P/Narc from a man's point of view. He asks questions and then answers them. For all the critisism of him, he really does know what is in these freaks heads.

Give him nothing. Give yourself everything. You'll need all the strength, inner resolve and belief in yourself that you can possibly muster to get disengaged from a narc. Don't waste any more energy on him!

Is Your Partner Suffering from Narcissism? (from) The Emotionally Abusive Relationship by Beverly Engel P177/178 http://www.amazon.ca/Emotionally-Abusive-Relationship-Abused-Abusing/dp/0471454036 1. Does your partner seem to be constantly wrapped up in himself -- his interests and projects -- and have little interest in what is going on with you? Even when he does take an interest, is it short-lived? 2. Does your partner like to be the center of attention? Does he become bored or rude when someone else has the floor? Does he tend to bring the conversation back to himself? 3. Does he seem to feel he is entitled to special treatment from you and others? 4. Does he seem to lack empathy and compassion for other people? Does he seem to have particular difficulty feeling other people's pain, even though he expects others to feel his? 5. Does your partner feel that his opinions and beliefs are always the right ones and that others (including you) really don't know what they are talking about? 6. Does he think he is smarter, hipper, more attractive or more talented than almost anyone else? 7. Does he seem to have an inordinate need to be right, no matter what issue is being discussed? Will he go to any lengths to prove he is right including browbeating the other person into submission? 8. Is your partner charismatic, charming, and/or manipulative when he wants something, only to be dismissive or cold after a person has served his purpose? 9. Have you come to distrust your partner because you have frequently caught him in exaggerations and lies? Do you sometimes think he is a good con man? 10. Does he often appear to be aloof, arrogant, grandiose, or conceited? 11. Can he be blisteringly insulting or condescending to people including you? 12. Is he frequently critical, belittling, or sarcastic? 13. Does your partner become enraged if he is proven wrong or when someone has the audacity to confront him on his inappropriate behavior? 14. Does he insist upon being treated a certain way by others, including waiters and waitresses in restaurants, store clerks, and even by his own wife and children? 15. Does he frequently complain that others do not give him enough respect, recognition, or appreciation? 16. Does he constantly challenge authority or have difficulty with authority figures or with anyone who is in a position of control or power? Is he constantly critical of those in power, often insinuating that he could do better? 17. Does your partner seldom, if ever, acknowledge what you do for him or show appreciation to you? 18. Does he seem to find fault with almost everything you do? 19. Even when he is forced to acknowledge something you've done for him or a gift you've given him, does he somehow always downplay it or imply that it really didn't meet his standard? 20. Does your partner focus a great deal of attention on attaining wealth, recognition, popularity or celebrity? If you answered yes to more than half of the above questions, your partner may be suffering from NPD or may have strong narcissistic personality traits.

Tell him to google it. That's how you find out information on the internet. That should be all the information you need to give him.

You can't. Trust me, been there done that one a few times. He even bought a book and rechecked another book from the library that I'd just finished reading... (he read em too) sad but true?... "he just didn't 'get it'...." ~ he pretended he did, even using some of the stuff from it all, but it's just 'pretended' by him. PS. for the time and energy expelled in trying to accomplish the impossible... can be expelled in ourselves and healing... juz sain' ;) ~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~ ~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them, --she said, (taken from my final remarks in a Sync Weekly Magazine article about my art and mySelf

I get that you don't want to make waves as you have to be in the house and under the spell for a bit longer than you anticipated. Perhaps with as much sincerity as you can muster, without any tone of hostility, calmly explain that you haven't had a chance to really look into it "as much as you'd like"...HA - but that you are sure there are resources on the internet. Also explain that from what little you know, one of the key issues is that it is important for anyone suffering from NPD to feel a sense of power by taking control of the situation by finding out all they can so that they feel in control and a sense of ownership...(Key words...power, control, ownership) and that you feel it would be a terrible disservice and detrimental to him to get involved because it may thwart his ability to progress and heal. Tell him you remember reading an article somewhere in a woman's rag and you do remember something about how essential it is for NPD recovery that they take all the steps themselves so they don't feel dependent on others. Tell him that morally and ethically, you just can't bring yourself to do any legwork on it because you really want him to get better soon. Use your own words, but you get the gist, and sound really supportive and concerned. I don't think it's playing a game...you can't get sucked in but you don't want to raise his radar either...play dumb and vague but know a "few" things - but not too much.

You have to give him something to play the game? Isnt that what you are trying to stop? The game playing? come on blueeyes. Think about what you just said. Games is what brought you to us. ?????? If he was sincere at all in wanting to know his "condition", he would not be coming to you. He would seek a professional and go to the internet like all people do when they find out they have an illness. only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

this is a false question to clean up the act that he has perfected ...so he can perfect it even more... i wouldnt even tell my exn,s this is what they have....they would use it for their own gain...blueeyes . what are you thinking .trying to educate this skants...who cares about this skank ... you know what he is...all the reading in the world wont change it...it will change him...he will know all the to do,s and not to do,s..

Just google on narcisstic men and tons of things pop up but what he would really need is a good therapist who understands personality disorders and can work with him, if he is is willing, mine went a few times with me and nothing got accomplished because he did not want to do the hard work of self awareness, after all" he is fine and everyone else is crazy".. Dr.Diane England has a good one as does Dr. Linda Martinez-Lewi. It is true it is not your job to show him ,he is a grown man .

Is he retarded? Why can't he find this out himself? Why is it your job to show him? Why not tell him to do some research himself. He's heard of the internet? Bookstores? And I can tell you that the outcome of "showing them" is usually narcissistic rage.