1. Home
  2. Forums
  3. Narcissist Forums
  4. The Path Forward Forum
  5. The Down Low

The Down Low

8 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Mar 27 - 10PM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

The Down Low

First, media would love for us to believe that this is a practice that is isolated to the "African American Community" THAT is a MYTH, but I think we all know that...

Next and very important, a KEY tip if you want to get an idea...

When you are out...pay attention to his eyes...when a MAN walks by...pay CLOSE attention...do they light up? Subconsciously, many report that is a tell tale sign. Most of us are on "cue" for watching when other women walk by - cause that's just how we are wired...BUT, we're missing the mark on when the MEN walk by...that is a MAJOR FLAG...

http://hubpages.com/hub/Signs-Your-Man-Might-Be-On-The-Down-Low

Another Author mentioned a tell in order to gage lying... that article is here:

http://www.topix.com/forum/afam/TIMC7TEI2LVMSOFHV

A very uncomfortable topic...but one we need to be aware of and not take ANYTHING for granted moving forward.

Hugs...

Apr 1 - 4PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Bumping this...

I noticed some red flags with a handsome younger man (he's about the same age as my sister, he's about 7 years younger)... I was intensely attracted to him, I felt tense... and here are the two BIG THINGS he shared with the ex-Psych prof: 1)He didn't like eating with utensils. At least my year old nephew is proud he can eat applesauce with a spoon! This younger man ate noodles. With his fingers. The ex-P wouldn't eat anything that required a fork, knife or spoon... so it means my nephew is far more advanced than a tenured professor, mentally. 2)The younger man was questioning a waiter about his ethnicity. It was awkward, and he seemed to be hitting on the waiter. He seemed more interested in the waiter than me. His eyes lit up. The ex-P was the SAME WAY. He lit up around men. Now I know red flags when I see 'em, don't deny 'em, and I can fold rather than play a game that gets my heart broken. I am NOT dating this younger man, and not regretting it. Not one bit.
Mar 28 - 12AM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

NOTE

The article w/the 47 signs is LAME but read the comments underneath... AND...for those of you who like the dating sites, many of them have an "alternative lifestyle" section... Cross reference. When I was hit with my suspicions, and I trolled, I was unplesantly surprised to see some men who posed as straight on the other side looking for ahem...other forms of dating... ON THE SAME SITE NO LESS! AND some of them are on multiple sites...SMH...
Mar 28 - 2AM (Reply to #5)
TLSM
TLSM's picture

Wow. I have to check out

Wow. I have to check out those dating sites! Here is a link and excerpt from it below that explains some silly myths about DL that are out there and suggests signs to consider seriously. http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Down-Low-Man-Phenomenon?&id=5792647 EXCERPT: Here is the deal ladies, lose the fear!!!! So STOP BELIEVING LIES: men with hemorrhoids that can cause rectum bleeding are NOT DL! You can get these via diet and activities. Stop believing this myth. I've seen women give up great guys because of this stupid belief. Men who love Prince, MJ, Maxwell are not DL!!! This is absurd!!! How he wears his jewelry or pampers himself is absurd too. Just know that some men are metro sexual who gets pedicures and extremely concern about their appearance but are NOT gay or bisexual. Get off that bandwagon.Men who have been in prison for an extended period of time should concern you. Men who only love anal sex should concern you. If they do not like to give you oral sex but want anal sex and oral sex from you, this should concern be you. Men who are always talking and carrying on about gay men or homosexual terms should concern you too. I'm not saying that they are DL, but it should concern you.
Mar 28 - 2AM (Reply to #6)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

TLSM

Much better article honestly speaking but I wanna drive home the best advice which I got from an article and a male friend. CHECK OUT where his eyes wander...men subconsciously scope out...the do it all the time...we've dealt with men who eye the ladies, they think we don't notice it but they do...it's human nature... Equally, if there is a gender "issue" they will check out other men...early on, pay attention to the EYES...the eyes tell all... AND now that we know what CD is...don't let it lie to you if you see what you "think" you see, you probably saw it...
Mar 28 - 1AM (Reply to #2)
ifinallygotit
ifinallygotit's picture

thanks for this topic as I always wondered about him...

My ex N only fit about 2 or 3 of 47 criteria and I really do think he was DL but I really do think he is deeply disturbed and that the psycho-sexual issues are all interconnected...when he got really comfortable with me he would whine and sulk and say you are not my mother if I asked a normal question - really weird over reactions. He acted like he was a king and how dare you ask me to change anything. I only saw him going after pretty women though - no weird looks or comments to men - more like addicted to the emotional safety net of "brotherhood". Still best friends with his old teammates from 20 years ago - never developed a new identity as a person after sports...As distant as he was with me, he was tight with them. The only females he was tight with were family members and he would do ANYTHING for them. When his sister got sick, he moved her into his house and cooked all her meals and took her to every doctor appmt...total devotion. When I would get sick, I would have to beg for a food drop...he lived one minute away. He was way kinder to his male friends than me...One time I even asked him why he made a big deal about their birthdays and not mine (his guy friends and his sisters). He didn't say anything but started to make a half hearted attempt for mine each year after that...I guess to keep supply
Mar 28 - 1AM (Reply to #3)
ifinallygotit
ifinallygotit's picture

oops meant to say he is NOT DL

hope that was not a freudian slip of tongue!
Mar 28 - 2AM (Reply to #4)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Major Freudian there...

sure it's not CD?...LOL Hugs!