Emotional Predators

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#1 Feb 11 - 7PM
Anonymous (not verified)
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Emotional Predators

Girlfriend pointed out an article for me to read under Itsallabout him called Emotional Predators. Every now and then an article comes along that describes exactly what happened to me and I print it. I dont know how I missed seeing this and most of the information I read I was aware of but it raised some questions in my mind.

" be aware that [this type of man] will come across to you as a devoted father and husband or as an upstanding citizen of his community. Never discount the possibility that your emotionally unavailable man may have multiple hidden lives (always the case if he’s engaging in clandestine extramarital affairs) as well as being an emotional predator. For example: emotional unavailability, plus life he keeps hidden from you, his wife or his girlfriend, plus the keen sixth sense of an emotional predator, plus a sexual addiction – help these pathological men thrive at attracting serial superficial relationships."

QUESTION: Are all emotional predators after just sex?, now hold on hold on that is not a dumb question considering alot of us dealt with ED and many of them showed no interest in us sexually but yet continued to live with us. Interesting how they state these men thrive on attracting serial superficial relationships, I wonder compared to the other relationships they maintain how does the live in compare to their other women. THeir relationship is ALSO superficial lacking on his part any type of deep emotional connection. I will answer my own question see if Iam right, they use the GF as an excuse they are already in a relationship, she is also used so they appear normal. I cant help but feel when they pursue these superficial side relationships its more for power, and control and another source to drool over them.

The emotional predator is as bad as it gets. He qualifies as the pinnacle of poisonous and pathological… He could, in fact, be called the “emotional psychic.” That’s because it’s his ability to intuit and sense a woman’s emotional vulnerabilities that places her at risk. Webster’s defines predatory as “having a disposition to injure or exploit others for one’s own gain; it defines predator as “one that preys, destroys or devours.” That’s a good summation of this man. Who but the most pathological among us would set out to exploit, prey on, destroy or devour?

Arent THEY ALL emotional predators? Exploit and hurt others for their own gain? Never never never question their intention from day one was to destroy us, or maybe they just get so carried away trying to accomplish their personal needs from us that they forget they are dealing with humans, ya right.

Many times these men will cover their perversions with heavy involvement in community politics, (and religion)

Now doesnt this sound familiar Barbara? I saw mine contributed to political parties through the years.

In addition to finding women who are available, these men have to locate women who are willing to violate their own emotional, sexual and ethical standards… So his challenge is to find women who, with a little encouragement will deny their values and boundaries and partake.

"with a little encouragement?" LOL, how about severe brainwashing - of course all they have to do is pretend they love you and tell you they want to try new things with you, things they have never done (ha) and would like to share their wildest fantasy with you because you are soooo special. PUKE

…emotional predators also fall into the mentally-ill category, usually under the diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder. Most also have hidden lives. When you couple a predator’s natural instincts with a lifetime of skills honed by successfully conning, exploiting and injuring women, you have a man who is nothing short of extraordinarily smooth and capable of horrific dangerousness.

For some reason even though its just a clinical name it helps in my recovery to say I was victimized by a mentally ill person, it helps with the insecurities we are left with in the aftermath. It naturally makes sense, anyone who preys and destroys others is mentally ill.

I see how my emotional predator emotionally damaged me, after all that was his intent from the very beginning. You never leave a pathological relationship undamaged. You can tell yourself you are strong (God knows we are) you can tell yourself you see the truth of what they really are, you can put it behind you and never look back and run far away, but you can never run away from the damage their mental illness did to you. The further I remove myself from him the more I see that leaving him was easier than my recovery is.

Hope what I pasted from the article will serve as a reminder to all of us of just how sick they operate and when we struggle with NC read the whole article again because they are nothing but mentally ill.

Mar 19 - 1PM
seancunningham
seancunningham's picture

Self Love

Mine was the same way. They don't have to invest themselves. It's sex with someone they love....THEMSELVES.
Feb 13 - 1AM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

losing interest?

He didn't lose interest because of your weight! He's a pathological... he got bored... he wanted a dirty whore... don't YOU DARE blame yourself for any of it! You can NOT judge a Narc or other pathologicals the way you'd judge a garden-variety loser. no matter what any relationship with a pathological is doomed. It has NOTHING to do with you. They'd screw a piece of wood and get bored with that eventually. ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Feb 13 - 12AM
Piscesdream
Piscesdream's picture

My N told me he hadn't had

My N told me he hadn't had sex since his wife. Of course, like a puppy I lapped that up. Turns out (and I found this out after I broke up with him 2 years later) that he has had sex with several women before me and after his wife. I may have been the only one he was having sex with while we were together. But, he lied to me about not having sex since his wife. He made me feel like I was the one that he wanted to spend his life with as soon as his divorce goes through. I was 23 when this happened. He was 52. Now 2 years later, I realize he is a huge Prick and I hope some gold digger comes along, seduces him, and then fucks him over financially. For whatever reason (probably crushed emotionally and mentally) his wife hasn't made him divorce her and she could screw him over instead.
Mar 20 - 1AM (Reply to #27)
rache
rache's picture

He's probably

SCREWING an 18 year old now,as,YOu bolstered up his already inflated ego.....freak that they are.
Feb 13 - 12AM (Reply to #26)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

already screwed

no one ever screws over a narcissist they're already SCREWED OVER... NOT HUMAN NOT HUMAN NOT HUMAN ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Feb 11 - 8PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

cynthia

since I posted it... of COURSE it sounds familiar to me!! ;) Every Emotional Predator/Narc/Sociopath I've known are all big deals with their church, temple, community organization, fraternal organization, business organization... It's like they wrap themselves in the best cover but underneath they're still sh*t. http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2009/10/19/example-one-puts-on-conspicuous-display-of-goodness-kindness/ No they aren't all after sex. Because you dealt with a particularly depraved one, as did I - that looms very large for you. But no. Many of them are after a variety of things: - money - someone to take care of them (food, laundry, etc) - a punching bag (verbal, emotional, financial, etc...) - a place to stay - someone to make them look respectable (they have children or a business with them) This last one is a BIGGIE. Many of these men have wives or girlfriends that they have around... and of these the majority of them are kept in the dark about their secret lives or are fed a non-stop diet of brainwashing & bullsh*t. I posted this article a while ago: http://www.lisaescott.com/2010/01/28/pathological-child-prodigy-savant-human-behavior These guys know they need to look NORMAL & RESPECTABLE. A decent, smart, hardworking, empathetic woman on the arms and kids running around gives them the MASK OF SANITY. But behind close doors, or even behind a keyboard - they are anything but. As far as sex is concerned they are either using you like warm plumbing (treating them or other side-women like some sort of whore) or to make them look as if they are normal (when they haven't had sex with these women in months or even years). There's no affection, respect or love in sex with these creatures, either way. Their sex drive comes from the ONE AND ONLY EMOTION they can feel: PRIMITIVE RAGE. ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Feb 13 - 12AM (Reply to #23)
Piscesdream
Piscesdream's picture

My experience is he would

My experience is he would give me sex as long as I gave him blow jobs in return. At first (during the courting) the sex was great because I actually wanted to give him blow jobs. But after a while I guess he got bored with giving me sex because I gave him so many more blow jobs than he gave me sex in return. And when we were ending, I gave him a blow job and he said he would give me sex the next time we were together. Well, that next time (which was our anniversary dinner) we got into a big fight at dinner and I told him it was over. So I never got my sex in return. He loves porn (and sends them in group emails to his networking friends). He kept making fun of me because I liked to watch porn. I guess he saw me as a whore for a while until he got bored with sex. From then on it was all blow jobs and him leaving afterwards to go back to his kids. He uses his grown-up kids as scape goats for anything and everything. I'm sure his daughter will get married and have a baby within the next 5 years and he'll still be saying he has to stay in the marriage because he's a grandfather. Lol! Okay.
Feb 13 - 12AM (Reply to #24)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

sexual narcissists

I'd say the majority of sexual narcissists I have known or know of are obsessed with blow jobs. It's like masturbating to them... and they don't have to look at your face much... its all about THEIR pleasure ... all sex is simply masturbating with your body anyway. It's emotional, physical & psychological rape. ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Feb 11 - 9PM (Reply to #12)
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

yes

Many of these men have wives or girlfriends that they have around... and of these the majority of them are kept in the dark about their secret and they haven't had sex with these women in months or even years MAJORITY are in the dark, I figured that but WOW what an act job they do on the madonna, but I dont think mine thinks any woman is a saint all women are just whores to him. Why would you want to have sex with your GF when its not really pleasurable to them, they have to pretend to make love and thats why they get ED all the time, he was starting to get ED with me. I started turning into the needy GF type when he wanted me for just the opposite. At 54 years old people would think he was pretty odd if he didnt have a serious steady, a bit old to be a playboy, or people would think he was gay so gotta have that cover. I didnt realize you wrote it, excellent description.
Feb 13 - 12AM (Reply to #22)
Piscesdream
Piscesdream's picture

I hope we're not talking

I hope we're not talking about the same man. Mine is named Cai, same age as your guy. Some people do find my N to be gay at first. I think it's because he's really artsy and yet incredibly intelligent and can't really relate to people on an average level. He's not gay, just a bit of a feminine with his hand usage. Lol!
Feb 11 - 10PM (Reply to #13)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

cynthia - you are right on

they have to pretend to make love and thats why they get ED all the time Psycho-Boy moaned on & on about how GREAT things were 'in the beginning' with the wife... but how 'BORRRRRINNNGGGG and UNIMAGINATIVE' she was now. How SHE was responsible for his NEEDING Vitamin V (Viagra) couldn't be that he is a: predator sociopath sex addict misogynist pervert cybersex addict hooker monger chronic masturbater... and how could ANYONE be sexual with your wife who is: paying your bills, working a full time job and raising your kids, cooking, keeping your life organized... oh NOOOO... that's just a MOOD KILLER! About 6 months into things with me he told me I was too nice and that men aren't attracted to nice women. WTF? I'd rather be nice any day of the week than what he thinks is attractive... I wonder if he has a picture of his right hand in his wallet? ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Feb 13 - 12AM (Reply to #20)
Piscesdream
Piscesdream's picture

ED? erectile dysfunction? He

ED? erectile dysfunction? He always told me it was because he's 54.
Feb 13 - 12AM (Reply to #21)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

ED

no! It's because both the sexual and intellectual narcissists have serious Madonna/Whore syndrome problems. It has NOTHING to do with his age or you!!! http://www.blogtalkradio.com/allabouthim/2009/07/23/the-narcissists-madonnawhore-complex ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Feb 12 - 6PM (Reply to #14)
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

??????????????

Do you think they have no sexual interest in their Gf's because its old or because they are always spent on masturbation and affairs, OR they only desire to have nasty sex in a primitive way? I often wonder sexually why he tired of me, I was new, saw me every three months, I pleased him, I think its because he could not turn me into the whore he had hoped he could, he wanted me to participate in all that group sick crap and if he wanted one on one sex he can just go to the GF, In the beginning they shower you with fake emotions WANT you to fall in love with them, then when you do fall in love with them they HATE IT and punish you for it, WTF????????????? Bottom line like you said Barbara they get a kick from taking a moral good woman and trashing her. They should just stick to the prostitutes but what is the fun in that they cant degrade them.
Feb 13 - 12AM (Reply to #15)
Piscesdream
Piscesdream's picture

Mine often wouldn't have sex

Mine often wouldn't have sex with me because he used up his orgasm from masturbating the night before. Sometimes he would save up for me (which was really nice when he did that for me). But we always had to end our sex with him masturbating because that's "the only way" he can orgasm. Lol! He said it's because he's old. I should have seen all of this while it was happening. It's not his age, it's because he is in love with having sex with himself. Oh my gosh... I am a sexual whore to him. He said he was very sad upon our breaking up. I didn't believe it at the time of course. He called me later that night to tell me he was proud of me breaking up with him and that he's going to be alone for a very long time while I will heal from this relationship and find someone worthy of me. I think that was a moment of truth coming out of his mouth.
Mar 20 - 1AM (Reply to #19)
rache
rache's picture

NOT!a moment of truth-they can't tell it

AND,he will NOT be alone-probably had another Gf on the side anyway,or,paying a hooker.HE never CARED!NONE OF THEM DO.....
Feb 13 - 12AM (Reply to #16)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

you need to listen to this!

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/allabouthim/2009/07/23/the-narcissists-madonnawhore-complex ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Feb 13 - 1AM (Reply to #17)
Piscesdream
Piscesdream's picture

Yeah, I think he categorized

Yeah, I think he categorized me as a whore at first (because I'm pretty and wanted sex a lot). But then when I wanted romance and commitment, he got tired of having sex with me so I guess I became the Madonna to him. So the negotiating of sex began once he categorized me as the Madonna. He often said I was "cute"- definitely said that a lot. But I gained weight through out our relationship and he let me know about it a few times. I gained weight because he wasn't giving me the attention I needed so I turned to food for comfort. I feel like he lost interest in me sexually because of that too. He always said to me, "Why don't you ever wear low-cut shirts? I want to show you off to my friends because you're so beautiful."
Mar 20 - 1AM (Reply to #18)
rache
rache's picture

His wife

is the MADONNA-He saw you as the WHORE who didnt comply =started wanting MORE-he already had a Madonna-he knows its easier for him to find another ~WHORE~(I)was my ex PSYCHOPATHS WHORE-HIS EX WIFE #3 is his ~MADONNA~/ACCOMPLICE.A SUB/SUBMISSIVE.
Feb 11 - 8PM (Reply to #2)
rache
rache's picture

SEX

we all know that RAPE- is about CONTROL,dominance,rage,violence.So,by all this i would say narcs rape instead of having normal sex.
Feb 11 - 9PM (Reply to #3)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

rache

they masturbate using your body... it's that simple could be you, their hand, a blow up doll... doesn't matter sex with these men is RAPE for us... it has NOTHING to do with intimacy, affection or anything resembling HUMAN EMOTIONS for them... nothing at all. ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Mar 20 - 1AM (Reply to #11)
rache
rache's picture

TRUE

Masturbation to them is the ULTIMATE SELF-LOVE.
Feb 12 - 7AM (Reply to #4)
peacewarrior
peacewarrior's picture

no sexual interest

I listened to Lisa's radio blog which depicted N's have a madonna/whore complex and that sex is a maintenance chore. I can understand the madonna/whore complex for I can't think of anything that was not perceived in polar opposties by the pathalogical exH .. he'd lable everything in opposing extremes. The traumatic abuse suffered to have been taken, distorted to a whore for investing to rekindle and have any physical relationship after years of none and a marital history of rare sexual relations was humiliating and mortifying to me. It seems I was not alone to have a so called mate, partner (ha) tell me he had no interest in me, no interest in a physical relationship, it mattered nothing to him. I cried alone so often to accept this about him, the rejection and informed there would be no sex in the marriage.I was clear what I wanted, was important to me and my physical needs. I had hormonal drive, feelings for him and sexual needs. I did not buy the words he was asexual, a monk, nor celebate priest. Going to counseling unleashed a nightmere. Ex projected, claimed I had no interests, I had wanted "nothing" to do with him, he wanted "all" to do with me so therefore it was "all my fault" I "made him" astserbate (to regulate his feelings: anger/rage and anxiety/fear). I made him away from home rent porn..."made him" sit in a kid's bedroom beating off. I actually had profound shame attacks due to his lies, acting out and reversing who was whom. I was sickened when he revealed he'd watch me through the see through fireplace ..watch me undress claiming he "desired me"...for he never told me..what he said was "I have no desire nor interest" to have sex with you. He voyeured me. One night he smiled and said he "liked ssex for he got to control my pleasure"..I felt sickened, scared, alarmed. He ranted, raged to projecst and rage he could not convince me I had done, said his words, behaviors through the years. It is shocking and disturbing enough to cope with to discover one's holier than thou spouse has had a secret double in the closet sex life. Isn't it horrifying to have that person projecst their sexual sickness onto you... I did what is recommended..did the sex addict codependent workbook, attended sANON meetings, counseling..my recovery from the damages..it did not matter. I was then disotorted to a sicko whore/prostitue/wanna be stripper in polar extremes. ..as one might act if he'd have taken out the trash. The constant insidious comments tinged to shame me as if being fully human, emotionally connected..to feel desire, affection was spoken of with derision.drip drip "somethign wrong with me". No..he was void of human emotions and diagnosed that and compartmentalized. In hindsight the pretense of the ex admitting just enough was pure manipulation to control me..manipulte my behavior and get sick kicks to say things..and in his eyes I eprformed like a puppet. On a rare occasion of physical intimacy to me..afterward he'd act like nothing happened I suspect he was a psychopath for he consistently would claim someone ele "told him, said it" even using his counselor and another, his boss aka his "friend" that others said what he said.Uhoh...lightbulb moment-it did not matter what any person siad or did..the exP me his disinterest of owmen and choosing erecsstions with strippers, movies lying to me pretending the opposite to my face..then raged at me his lies were "all my fault", he "lied had to lie because I'd be angry"...twisted and diverts anything about me..as if I was to live a life void of even physical intimacy while he could have...do what he wanted and as if it had not effected me nor been the major factor why I wanted a divorce and the sick betrayal and deceit. He'd shsame me for efforts to rekindl a relationship..shame me for wearing a cute, pretty or sexy..wearing a teddy sublely as if I was..slutish. Meanwhile he's routinely at all nude strip clubs, masterbating in the shower, on the road..regulating..controlling his emotions. Hindsight he not once said "let's have sex or I'd like to or I want"..he was incapable of speaking for him self and groped like a pubescent teen. Found out, he called my family, told others recruiting them to convince me I was sexually psychotic..shocking people with depraved lies. It's a wonder I am still alive..annihalated, destsroyed pathologized to others behond the behaviors he did. It was in analogy if a person would shame me, tautnt me for drinking coffee (caffeine) feeding me lies he wouldn't ever use drugs then discovering he's a cocaine, ecstacy..addict. then orchestrating a multi focal attack recruiting people to get me locked up in rehab...confess...then con them I am insane..won't admit my behaviors. I was ridiculed and raged at and it was disgusting my own brother called me to discuss "my" sexual unhealthiness and justify centerfold syndrome. It wasn't until they saw spouses of sex addicts on Dr. Phil they backed off.
Feb 12 - 7AM (Reply to #5)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

peacewarrior

Yes I had that too, with both exNH and psycho-boy: http://www.lisaescott.com/2010/01/15/backwards-reactions-how-recognize-narcissist It's a wonder I am still alive..annihalated, destsroyed pathologized to others behond the behaviors he did Same here. Yours sounds like a SOCIOPATH, peacewarrior... sorry to say but he does. On a rare occasion of physical intimacy to me..afterward he'd act like nothing happened Same here... it was like nothing. Like he blew his nose, or took out the trash... nothing at all. he was incapable of speaking for him self and groped like a pubescent teen Because his sexuality is STUCK about age 13 or 15. STUCK. NOT HUMAN... NOT HUMAN... NOT HUMAN and in no way, shape or form your fault AT ALL! ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Feb 13 - 12AM (Reply to #7)
Piscesdream
Piscesdream's picture

Mine was obsessed with

Mine was obsessed with sucking my boobs. He called it "cuddling"...sure, we cuddled: I cuddled his head while he sucked my boobs like the big baby that he is. He was obsessed with blow jobs and boobs the most. He did like anal sex (and I like it too sometimes). It was always doggiestyle or me on top because of his "painful back".
Feb 13 - 12AM (Reply to #8)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

PiscesNJN

Psycho-Boy (sexual narc) and my exNH (intellectual narc) were both boob-fixated because to them we are a collection of PARTS. nothing more. Start reading through all the stories in SHARE YOUR STORY - you'll find LOADS of similarities with your guy. He's a classic... and predictably predatory... my bet is he NEVER divorces the wife. Ever. ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Feb 13 - 12AM (Reply to #9)
Piscesdream
Piscesdream's picture

Oh yeah, he said "divorce is

Oh yeah, he said "divorce is expensive". I think it's his way of keeping control over her though and also to look normal at work. His friends already know about all his past and present girlfriends. They knew about me- and guess what, they liked me! Lol! =) Too bad he couldn't see the value in me. Mine was SOOOO obsessed with spanking me. I didn't like all of the time. But he would say, "If you want me to forgive you for (insert that week's disappointment he had with me) then this is how I will forgive you." Yep, he sexually abused me. I let him and winced every time with the wooden spoon or the belt. He didn't do it hard, but he knew I didn't like it at all. And he just got soooo much pleasure and happiness from it. I did it because I loved him and wanted him to be happy. I also wanted sex and that was another way of me getting it.
Feb 13 - 12AM (Reply to #10)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

ugh

Narcissists get off on pain - mental or physical. They enjoy it. He's a perv. Treated you like some dirty free whore... like all sexual narcs do. ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Feb 12 - 8AM (Reply to #6)
peacewarrior
peacewarrior's picture

more normal experience

After escaping the situation I began to rebuild a life and recover from significant physical health issues and mental health issues. You know how 'truth' eventually comes out? "Truth" and how I found out literally broke me and I first had a state of traumatic shock, terror gripped me to comprehend what the H had intentionally done to me and others. I digressed:) I did have two relationships and did chose to socialize, meet people both males and females. I discovered I or one does not need to do much to "effect" human beings who are connected to their emotions and are capable of empathy and have a conscience. Re: sex and sex with a person who can feel something it was a profoundly different experience and I am not referring to orgasms. It was a new experience to be with someone who even acted like something happened with icing on the cake afterward they demonstrated a nautral affection or that sex gave them some warm fuzzy..smile on the face..feel good. As my longest and closest friend told me I just had not noticed tht other people noticed me..I was so busy trying to be noticed by this man.... the personal work I did, primarily it was getting out again alone and interacting with other people and it actually helped me that he'd implode in a rage and leave..abandon to control for I did not sit around doing nothing. One day I said no to something holding him accountable for his words and he blew up and went to a hotel for three days. I observed the act of sex was like anything else..and a cuase of anger to do anything, make any contribution..rage filled off the charts as if he was entitled to have it all...doing absolutely nothing. Deep resentment to have ever had to give a kid a ride somewhre. aybe he did stop mastserbating and that was when the rager came out..his face would turn beet red, sometimes blue with foam spewing out his mouth down his chin like a rabid dog..and he got physically violent. Of course told people it was me..raging. Those rages..IU was frozen..paralyzed terrified and I won't ever forget him storming, the blue facse and foam. One day he lefst me a note in the am.."let's talk tonight, we'll do Dr. Phil's workbood (Self Matters)..get some wine..make dinner then we'll do it". Like the other days I got dressed up, the hair, nails..read Stepford wife (sick)..near gourmet dinner..table set..wine..then afterwards he sai "thanks". I clened the dishes then said.."okay, let's do the workbook now" He replied "I did not bring it home". I was disappointed (for the tenth time) and quietly said.."this is a problem for me..you say you or we will do somehting and then you don't". I went to the bedroom. He burst through the door ina violent rage..turned blue screaming atw me "you are the problem"..if you'd take medication there would be n problems..then he projected "you are in a rage" then he started hitting me, through me..pumeling shouting 'you stop hitting me". I was to "be" for real perfect..on little money although he made a phenomenal amout of money..I was to provide the best and perfect..do it all and be all..and objectified in the mirro. I was to be objectified with each and all flaws, mistakes, shortcomings of the four children....if someoen left a coat out..I condemned. yes, I did know in our generation the moms did mosst of the chidl rearing, household tasks. It's pathalogical when a man who does near nothing literally projects and talks crazy to you..you did not do anything that you did...behind closed doors..says one thing to people then corners you nightly behind closed doors saying opposites..to manipulate you to be his messenger..bad guy..insane, inhumane sadistic pyscho situation. I no longer care if any one believes me... I got a lawyer, petitioned for a restraining order..and understand why I'd say "this is...killing me" for I was annihaltated, destroyed and people told I am Mr. Hyde...friends, family, children were told pathalogical lies makde up to con them I had numerous PD's...Telling the truth was a downfall for me...like an execution..destroy another's existence and claim it for the pathalogical self..pure identiy exchange. barbara I figured out his mother is sociopathic..I found out the ex bought books on mental illnesses then made stories..up to "fit" and use as proof I am "insane depraved psychotic". What I have to accept..is that he gave a 71/2 hour deposition that afterward I wanted to go dig a hole, bury myself and no one gives a damn to read it..so they'd know I did not "make stuff up or insert words in his mouth". To this day people remain conned that saintly man..never said what he said..despite a court record. Throughout he lied claiming named others "agree " with him and they said things which they did not... I accepted I am condemned..like an innocent person on death row..and my appeals unheard.