Girlfriend pointed out an article for me to read under Itsallabout him called Emotional Predators. Every now and then an article comes along that describes exactly what happened to me and I print it. I dont know how I missed seeing this and most of the information I read I was aware of but it raised some questions in my mind.
" be aware that [this type of man] will come across to you as a devoted father and husband or as an upstanding citizen of his community. Never discount the possibility that your emotionally unavailable man may have multiple hidden lives (always the case if heâ€™s engaging in clandestine extramarital affairs) as well as being an emotional predator. For example: emotional unavailability, plus life he keeps hidden from you, his wife or his girlfriend, plus the keen sixth sense of an emotional predator, plus a sexual addiction â€“ help these pathological men thrive at attracting serial superficial relationships."
QUESTION: Are all emotional predators after just sex?, now hold on hold on that is not a dumb question considering alot of us dealt with ED and many of them showed no interest in us sexually but yet continued to live with us. Interesting how they state these men thrive on attracting serial superficial relationships, I wonder compared to the other relationships they maintain how does the live in compare to their other women. THeir relationship is ALSO superficial lacking on his part any type of deep emotional connection. I will answer my own question see if Iam right, they use the GF as an excuse they are already in a relationship, she is also used so they appear normal. I cant help but feel when they pursue these superficial side relationships its more for power, and control and another source to drool over them.
The emotional predator is as bad as it gets. He qualifies as the pinnacle of poisonous and pathologicalâ€¦ He could, in fact, be called the â€œemotional psychic.â€ Thatâ€™s because itâ€™s his ability to intuit and sense a womanâ€™s emotional vulnerabilities that places her at risk. Websterâ€™s defines predatory as â€œhaving a disposition to injure or exploit others for oneâ€™s own gain; it defines predator as â€œone that preys, destroys or devours.â€ Thatâ€™s a good summation of this man. Who but the most pathological among us would set out to exploit, prey on, destroy or devour?
Arent THEY ALL emotional predators? Exploit and hurt others for their own gain? Never never never question their intention from day one was to destroy us, or maybe they just get so carried away trying to accomplish their personal needs from us that they forget they are dealing with humans, ya right.
Many times these men will cover their perversions with heavy involvement in community politics, (and religion)
Now doesnt this sound familiar Barbara? I saw mine contributed to political parties through the years.
In addition to finding women who are available, these men have to locate women who are willing to violate their own emotional, sexual and ethical standardsâ€¦ So his challenge is to find women who, with a little encouragement will deny their values and boundaries and partake.
"with a little encouragement?" LOL, how about severe brainwashing - of course all they have to do is pretend they love you and tell you they want to try new things with you, things they have never done (ha) and would like to share their wildest fantasy with you because you are soooo special. PUKE
â€¦emotional predators also fall into the mentally-ill category, usually under the diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder. Most also have hidden lives. When you couple a predatorâ€™s natural instincts with a lifetime of skills honed by successfully conning, exploiting and injuring women, you have a man who is nothing short of extraordinarily smooth and capable of horrific dangerousness.
For some reason even though its just a clinical name it helps in my recovery to say I was victimized by a mentally ill person, it helps with the insecurities we are left with in the aftermath. It naturally makes sense, anyone who preys and destroys others is mentally ill.
I see how my emotional predator emotionally damaged me, after all that was his intent from the very beginning. You never leave a pathological relationship undamaged. You can tell yourself you are strong (God knows we are) you can tell yourself you see the truth of what they really are, you can put it behind you and never look back and run far away, but you can never run away from the damage their mental illness did to you. The further I remove myself from him the more I see that leaving him was easier than my recovery is.
Hope what I pasted from the article will serve as a reminder to all of us of just how sick they operate and when we struggle with NC read the whole article again because they are nothing but mentally ill.