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Every word

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#1 Nov 4 - 9PM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Every word

For those of you who 'know' me, you know that i love music... lyrics. When I was with him I abandoned all of that.

Anyway... as I get prepared for my day tomorrow (work/ travel) I had on one of my favorite artist-- Sade. She wrote a song called "Every Word".... Really described what I feel/ felt. I trusted him.... loved him purely and honestly and he was just a snake. (FYI-- Sade was with a narcissist for three years until she broke away from the abuse. I think that is one of the songs she wrote regarding him.) Here are the lyrics and a link to her singing it if anyone is interested:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xWoSA_4QmY

Every Word:

I saw a picture
How could you be so careless
How could you have done that to us
And I write this letter
I send it all back to you
And every word you said

1 - In there every word, oh oh oh oh
How could you have done that to us

You treated me like a stranger
And all the time I was loving you
All your slick moves
They were once innocent moves
I wanted to look up to you
I really trusted you
And every word you said

Repeat 1

(Love is what the word was)

2 - I was loving you like a child
All the time you were smiling
The same smile
I was loving you like a child
I really trusted you

Every word you said
Every word you said
(Love is what the word was)

Every word you said
Every word you said
(Love is what the word was)
(Love is what the word was)

Every word you said
Every word you said

Repeat 2

Every word you said
Every word you said
(Love is what the word was)
I send it back to you, yeah
(Love is what the word was)

Every word you said
Every word you said
(Love is what the word was)
I send it all back to you, yeah
(Love is what the word was)

It's all so sad. If he were normal he and I wouldve been great together. Can't believe I am missing him tonight.. not good.

Jessika

Nov 6 - 3PM
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I love Sade too...although

I love Sade too...although XN introduced me to her music on our 2nd date. There is one song of hers that i really like...i will try to find the lyrics. I didnt know she was involved with an N. I can really relate to these lyrics jessika. edited to add(here are lyrics to Sade's song somebody already broke my heart) This is what i had hoped XN was...but this is now who I am to myself...because I'm here for myself now. Somebody Already Broke My Heart lyrics [1] - You came along when I needed a savior Someone to pull me through somehow I've been torn apart so many times I've been hurt so many times before So I'm counting on you now Somebody already broke my heart Somebody already broke my heart Here I am So don't leave me stranded On the end of a line Hanging on the edge of a lie I've been torn apart so many times I've been hurt so many times before So be careful and be kind [2] - Somebody already broke my heart If someone has to lose, I don't want to play Somebody already broke my heart No, no I can't go there again
Nov 5 - 7AM
4joys (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I love Sade. Missing the

I love Sade. Missing the pretend guy is all part of the healing. We all did/do this. If you recognize it is normal, you will go easier on yourself. I think we have to accept all the feelings that comes with this devastation. But don't live in "missing him" too long. Tell yourself or write about the things that were unhealthy for you in this relationship and distract yourself with something good.
Nov 5 - 3AM
NanC (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I'm having a hard time too...

These days. I guess the weather change has alot to do with it. Now that its cooler, i remember all the times we'd build a campfire & sat around it with the kids. There was so many things we both liked. I hadn't had a decent conversation with exN in quite some time. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of letting him know i was missing him...i did let my guard down yesterday & said, " the weather is so nice, it reminds me of the ranch when we would have a fire going, I wish u were who i thought you were." His response was, "don't start your shit, let it go already!" Omg, what a slap in the face. But of course, i already know how he is & now that i know about narcissism, I realize he is not capable of understanding the devastation he has caused me & the kids & how he thinks "we should get over it already" (after 7 yrs!) just as he has....That is precisely the reason you don't show a N any emotion. You end up feeling worse every time.
Nov 5 - 10AM (Reply to #6)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

NanC

This is what CRACKS me up about when they say, "Let it go already"...they NEVER follow their own advice, they obsess and harp on the same topic on and on an on. You can make one innocent mistake a year ago, and they'll just keep bringing it up, and enjoy torturing you over it. But don't YOU dare bring up one of their mistakes...all HELL will break loose!
Nov 5 - 9AM (Reply to #5)
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

"don't start your shit, let it go already!"

ya THEY started the SHIT, and we are supposed to just sit back and let it go? I dont think so. THey were the predators, they inflicted this horrible injury to us and we are now supposed to let it go, They are to blame for EVERYTHING we did nothing wrong but love and they shot us down and threw us away. Ya you better not start any shit and call them on their sick behavior they will run like cowards. One time he called me and said he was going through Cynthia withdraw I asked him what were his symptoms and he said, a hard dick, I told him gee wish you had those symptoms when we were together the last time, he hung up of course. I thought to myself withdraw my ass you cant even perform normally sexually when you have a beautiful sexy woman right beside you, I would have liked to tell him what my withdraw symptoms are from him: PTSD, anxiety, depression, life altering pain, insomnia, loss of my job, puking, financial ruin from trying to find a job, standing in the unemployment line for unemployment, medicine cabinet that includes meds for depression, anxiety and PTSD, and his symptoms are a "HARD DICK", he can remedy that just stick in a porn tape and masturbate or go fuck a chicken.
Nov 5 - 9AM (Reply to #4)
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

NanC

I know what that is like, I said something to him once like, "I wish you could love", ewwww BIG MISTAKE, he said thats a bs statement, dont start with that shit got up and walked away , he was pissed. hE SAID quite frankly Cynthia I am getting God damn sick of all your psycho analytic bull shit and the fact you are always the poor little victim, but you sure enjoyed yourself he would say in my bed. Shift blaming comes to mind there, look how he dodged the real issue, you dont discuss feelings and you dont show emotions they will stomp it out real quick and act like you are the predator, he said to me once why are you so green over my Girlfriend? She has nothing more than you do in fact you would like her she is just like you, you guys would get along great, gee I thought thanks lets just all three get together so we can discuss you ED over a glass of wine.
Nov 5 - 7AM (Reply to #2)
4joys (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

nanc

What a cold response. They cant admit what they have done. It's outside their realm of being. Its so frustrating for us. My N always got angry when faced with the truth and would say the same type of thing. Let it be a reminder of why you are out of this situation with him.
Nov 6 - 1PM (Reply to #3)
NanC (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

cyn, quitetude, & 4joys

Thanks for yor responses. They are really all the same. I would do anything to erase the day i met him...