F YOU Papi Chulo...

Good morning. Hope all are NCing today. I feel like a spoiled brat who can't have what she wants. It's his birthday n I want to text, just to keep the door open as the thought of never hearing from him again send me into a tizzy. I know I am not new to site, but I am new with NC and reading etc. and I do have my aha moments when I reading and in therapy. But I guess not sinking in yet.

Here I am in DC on vacay with kids, 5 star hotel, weather is great , have so much fun planned with them and I thinking of his pathetic birthday? This sounds awful, but i know my N envies my life, my money, me with my kids, my friends, ny ability to love, etc...he really has a pathetic life...but I have acted and said some insecure things on my part when I sensed the discard coming and he knows that my sensitivity and the fact I think he s soooooooo sexy n best lover and he has upper hand I feel. I am charter member of Sarcastic Society. Lol. I want to send him sarcastic text, get my point across. I really want to have it out with him, I told him months back I can't just do FWB, I can't do casual sex and he backed off. I know I was used. I want to hurt him, make him feel vulnerable and that is not like me at all. I won't text him today, I have small hope he realizes for a second he didn't hear from me and I hope it screams in his brain FUCK YOU Papi Chulo !! Thanks for listening again...