the feeling of wanting revenge..

i am struggling alot with this lately... the feeling of wanting revenge, the feeling of wanting to expose him to everyone.. particulary his new girlfriends, the OW.. wanting him to have all the chickens come home to roost and deal with the pain and lies he have fed to everyone in his life.. he doesnt deserve all the things he has.. he destroyed me.. and its so hard to let go of the feeling of wanting to destroy him right back..

i know logically in my brain... doing this will get me nowhere. I know most of his girls are way too far gone at this point... i know making his actions public knowledge would probably result in a smear campaign against me, and countless photos he convinced me to take for him being spread to the whole world.... but god.. i can't stand it. he has all these women fawning over him, cheating left and right without a care in the world, while i am alone, in therapy and on anti-depressants, struggling to get through each day because of the damage he caused me and my self worth, my entire life..

he is dating 3 women simultaneously right now. one of them i know.. shes very sweet, very religious.. even gave up the v-card to him.. shes young and naive. as far as she is concerned, she is his one and only, her prince charming, and they're in love..she is so far gone and too naive to know what he is capable of.. he is a sexual deviant, a liar, an emotional and physical abuser.. literally a monster. he is not in any way the religious prince charming he is pretending to be with her.. hes an athiest for god's sake, and cracks jokes about the 'stupidity' of religious people with regularity...

hes also dating a single mom on the side.. as well as messing around with a 40-something MARRIED woman with 3 children.. he is 24. Only the married woman is aware about any of the other two women. He also has been harassing me via aim, skype on multiple names.. sending me perverted photos of himself, begging me to get on skype and give him a 'show', sending obscene text messages... he even went so far as to suggest i come visit him in dallas (i ignored this entirely).

he tells people he is single (.. past repeating itself much here.. once upon a time i discovered a load of text messages to random women while we were living together, claiming he was single and lived alone..).

i can't stand what a bottom feeding piece of scum he is. i cant stand how he has these people fooled. i cant stand knowing how much he is going to destroy this girl, just like he destroyed me... it makes me want to throw up. it hurts my heart and eats at me, knowing i could say something.. but not saying anything.. even though i know it wouldn't do much.. it eats at me to not even try, and it eats at me that no one ever exposes this piece of trash for what he is... the urge to tell everyone we know exactly what he has done.. what he is doing.. is so overwhelming.

HOW do you get past these feelings? how do you become okay with not warning the OW that she is being cheated on, that she is being lied to, that she is dating a physical and mental abuser? how do you stop the burning desire to scream from the rooftops all that he has done and the want to tear him apart like he did to you? its all i can think about lately...