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FREEDOM

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#1 Oct 12 - 6AM
Used
Used's picture

FREEDOM

<<<<>>>> NO CONTACT WITH NARC!!!! and i couldnt have done it ,without LISA, BETTY, AND MY FREINDS ON THIS BOARD... you were there for me ,when some of my so called friends were not... when "my best woman freind"..who insisted...dont be with him, dont talk to him..dont even look at him...and when i took all this advice....she talked to him... when i called her on it... she said.. no it was just in passing... i said you spoke to him after ignoring him when i was with him for 4years. and when i finish with him. you talked to him..you are a hypocrite..and i said narc said you were like him.now you have proved it. a woman narc.. i wondered why none of her family spoke to her i havent spoken to her again...we had known each other over 25years... what is it they say...KEEP YOUR FREINDS CLOSE BUT KEEP YOUR ENEMIES EVEN CLOSER... so thankyou again. thank you all for being there... i wont ever forget it this time in my life and i dont want to forget it... it will help keep me safe from the people who i should have felt safest with...love usedxxxxxxx

Oct 12 - 12PM
Alive
Alive's picture

I

am a bit worried, i cant remember any of my dreams at the moment....I love dreams.
Oct 12 - 12PM
tynk3377
tynk3377's picture

ditto

Kinda going thru the same thing...funny I had a dream about my friend the other night and she had a knife in her hand...maybe I felt stabbed in the back?
Oct 12 - 12PM (Reply to #10)
Used
Used's picture

knife

to dream of a knife...can mean you should cut ties...it also means aggresion..
Oct 12 - 7AM
CarolKittyGale (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Used

I don't know if your friend is a Narc but I know exactly what you feel being let down by a friend. I have a friend who doesn't leave the relationship she is in until she has a replacement and yet at times judges me or is putting me down. In the 19 years I have known her she always profess to be my best friend but I don't feel that way any more and maybe she never was. I have never known her to be without a bloke, even to the extent that she will keep them financially. I don't won't to comment on her life as I am very live and let live but I sometimes feel she is in competition with me and to be honest I don't want to be in competition with friends. She is not all bad we have been through things together but when I look back maybe I should have not been as soft. When I have gone through bad times with my exN and wanted to leave she was always saying I'll be there for you but low and behold when I broke with N she got with a new guy dumped the one she was with who to be fair wasn't treating her well but dropped me out as well. I was lucky to get a phone call or a returned call...when I was heart~broken about N and couldn't leave the house she e~mailed me photo's of herself and new beau kissing....insensitive comes to mind. We are talking more now but only on the phone and she had an op so I went to visit her recently but even though she has been in my life a long time because I am doing lots of healing and work on myself and could see things for how they are with her and others I didn't have my healthy boundaries in place and was so down with N didn't enforce them. Maybe we go through things for a reason and everything starts to fall into place. I for one after the latest let down with my exN have got rid of all the dead wood in my life. New start for us all don't you think....:-))
Oct 12 - 7AM (Reply to #2)
Used
Used's picture

carolkittygale

yes she is a narc..her and narc hated each other.. but her exscuse for not talking to him...was i dont like the effect he has on you...i wouldnt be a true friend if i didnt point this out to you...and my narc was saying the same words about her...they reconised each other instantly...and when i said to her..he rekons you are like him...she didnt protest at all only to say...you know ime not and i said but i dont know...you are as power mad as him,as possevive as him...you expect me to phone you ,but you never phone me, telling me I DONT PHONE ANYONE".. well i dont phone her anymore..lol there is more to it than this...like her once standing in front of me so i wouldnt see him...i am small.. and after me saying why did you do that she said for your own good...no it was for her own good,, cos if i had seen him...she knew i would go off with him.. it was all about her, and it was all about him.....know i am out with both of them i am shocked by the simalarities...she was f..king in your face like him as well... the moment i knew she spoke to him..it was over for me...this is the kind of thing he would do...tell me not to talk to someone...then he would do it.... on a good day i think of them as king and queen narc and i hope they will be very happy together.. fighting for supremecy.
Oct 12 - 8AM (Reply to #3)
CarolKittyGale (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Used

If this is the case then do not worry about them any more, do your NC stuff on both of them and go on and have your life, you really don't need people like this in your life hun. Get your healthy boundaries in place with all people and live your life..... After all the heartache life is to short to worry about people who try to bring you down. God bless xxx
Oct 12 - 8AM (Reply to #4)
Used
Used's picture

carolkittygale

thankyou... i am 365 nc with narcm today.. and her 3months and my exh 13mnths... i didnt need these people in my life they just telling me i did and i believed it...NO THEY NEEDED ME... myexh,s father died at weekend... i didnt even ask how my exh is.. i dont care how he is... i saw narc today, when i was out.. he tried to "CONNECT AGAIN"... i walked on like he does not exsist... these people are of no interest to me... i have moved on...they cannot.
Oct 12 - 1PM (Reply to #6)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

Used, you are tough :) I

Used, you are tough :) I hear you being "strong". Picking up your strength and USING it. There, that is a better meaning for your name "Used". You USED your strength, your righteous anger over what happened to you. The "right" response to people who have hurt and betrayed you is to IGNORE them, give them no tiniest bit of your attention, even to whack them upside the head for hurting you. Walk on by. Paying any attention to those people is taking away from attention you want to spend on yourself and people worthy of you. People that respect you, are honest with you, and care for you. In this way, you will find more and more of them in your life :)
Oct 12 - 2PM (Reply to #7)
Used
Used's picture

brieses

thankyou for that... the name USED...is not all about what it seems to be....its also about how i USED to be...i dont know if that makes sense....the person i USED to be when my need to be what these people in my life wanted me to be and i became it....thankyou again for your lovely post... i am where i am tonight, thru this board and someone i know who has turned out to be a counseller in so many ways and against so many odds...... to night i feel so blessedxxxxx
Oct 12 - 2PM (Reply to #8)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

I totally get it!!!

I am so glad you have that special connection in your life :) It amazes me how powerfully healing we can be for each other!
Oct 12 - 8AM (Reply to #5)
CarolKittyGale (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Used

Oh well done that girl..fabulous. This is exactly the stage I am at in my life now and it feels fantastic. I have cut all the dead wood out of my world too, dating myself and only spending time with people that treat me with respect which is how I have always treated people. There are loads of good people out there Used and they are all waiting to meet us...laugh