I started keeping a log last year for my own validation and sanity's sake, and will have to dig out my journal soon to share. In the meantime, here's the latest from my now hoovering N:
"You have a date with me this weekend. I am going to take you to lunch tomorrow and then a movie, and then to the outlets."
Wha??!! well, geez thanks for telling me what my plans are, sheesh it wouldn't have occurred to me to first be consulted?!! what nerve.
See, even when they are trying to be *nice* (the nice twin routine?) the true nature oozes through.
I normally call him out on his BS behavior...and one time I said "You know what I think? I think you had no intention of XYZ and you're just telling me what I want to hear." His response? "You are out of line telling me what I may or may not be thinking or feeling." Oh, that's right Narc...cuz you don't have any feelings. My mistake.
Say it with me...I'M SO DONE!!
FFI
when we had a pregnacy scare he said "its YOUR fault youre pregnant YOU slept with ME "
He kept telling me he liked brown hair .. i have blond
He told me "im trying to help you with youre problems " ..."you have insecurity problems " .. i never use to its just that he had dumped me 6 times ...
Him "i hurt all the time , all the time im in pain "
Me "good "
Him "im going to go to france to see if french woman wants to make a go of it with me and if not ill come back and marry you "
Me "WTF"
Him "you dont want me to be happy "
Him "i love you dont ever leave me "
Him about 10 minutes later "i think was should split up "
Him "you know im mentaly ill dont you but please dont tell anyone "
Me "ok sweetie"
Oh my i could go on all night ... xx
1. If your nice i'll do...
2. Your a crazy bi***
3. You have an attitude
4. She is just a friend... I can't have friends?
5. You deserve to be punished.
6. I want to make you bleed
7. You say mean things to me too
(yeah right...walking on eggshells here)
8. I love your pu*** but not your bad attitude.
9. You think your better than me.
10. If I'm so bad why would you love me/miss me
11. I just want to find a dumb 22 year old to fu**, shell let me do whatever I want.
12. I NEVER SAID THAT.
I did not sleep with her... we're just friends.
I lie to you because you blow everything out of proportion because you're so insecure
I'm not your puppet on a string
It takes time for me to grow and have feelings
If you gain 5lbs I will leave you
You're such a child
You're a princess
You don't LISTEN!
I don't have time for this.
We can talk about it another time. I don't want to now.
Maybe someday......
I never faught with any of my ex girlfriends the way we fight.
You have issues
Don't bring it up again or I will leave you. Don't test me.
I can't have any friends (women he slept with) because of your insecurity.
We will see...
I'm too busy to talk to you. (He's bored at work)
You need to be punished because you act like a child
How many times do I have to tell you something?
No guy will ever treat you better than I do. Go for it! Good luck!
I'm the best you'll ever have!
No man will ever put up with your drama!
You're not that hot!
I don't get jealous!
Are you here to see or those other people on the other boat?
I'm very secure!
You're insecure insecure insecure insecure insecure! over and over and over...he was a recording!
I really think their all-time favorite line is:
"I have no idea what you're talking about" (...pause...hmmm, I wonder if she'll buy it...)
And some other favorites:
"I have nothing to hide."
"I'm a quality individual."
"I love being in a relationship."
"I only tell the truth."
"I'm not a player."
"I want nothing but the best for you...and me."
But the one that really freaked me out and I will never forget it:
"FFI, I'm not a monster."
N: You know I was gay before I met you right..
Me: uh what..you serious?
N: ya I use to be gay...but being with you changed me..made me straight
N : How you feel having a gay boyfriend..(then he laughs) ha ha you got a gay boyfriend (teasing me)
Me: o_o
"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess
He was running late for our initial Match.com "meet-n-greet".
Me: "No problem....we can make it another time if you'd like".
Him: "Don't back out on me now! I really am a nice guy.....ask my mom."
Me (thinking): You're 50 years old! Why would I have to ask your mom?!?!
Should've known I was headed for trouble....LOL!!
N - The story of my life would make an epic movie
N - I'm going to make us rich beyond our wildest dreams (he has had a job for 1 year out of the last six)
N - One of these days I'm gonna get a little hottie pregnant and leave you for her.
N - Everybody loves me and everyone wants to work with me (He has NO friends)
N - Everyone is stupid, people don't get me because I have an A+ personality
N - I am so much smarter than everyone else, thats why I don't connect with people
N - I haven't watched porn today but the day isn't over
N - Run away, stay away and don't ever look back. I don't deserve the love that you gave me (probably the only true thing he ever said to me)
N - I could call any of my exs and they would be at my house within an hour
N - I'm going to write a book called "Return from Wickedness"
N - I'm going to quit being a quitter. I'm going to run that marathon.
N - I can have any woman that I want.
N - I like trying new things and I'm not particular as to what those thing are. (probably referring to women).
N - I feel like everyone is out to destroy me.
1) I have an extremely high IQ and I have more life experience then you do. I know more about how relationships work. I can teach you this.
2) It really freaks people out that I can be psychic. I can predict the future.
3) You don't realize the psychic ability you have and you make bad things happen with your thoughts.
4) The Haiti earthquake was God flushing the toilet.
5) I'm an adrenaline junkie (while lying on the bed at 11:30 in the morning). I get bored unless it's something I'm interested in.
6)I'm intense, people can't wrap their brains around that.
7) You have too much energy, you are too intense. You are extreme.
8)I have to smoke weed. It makes me better able to cope. It doesn't say anything in the bible about it being bad. It doesn't say anything in the bible about it all.
He likes to scream, "I don't GET angry!"
When I came down with the flu last month: "Look at you! What's wrong with you? You're going to DIE!"
Several years ago I approached him as he lay on the couch. Feeling a bit horny, I looked into his eyes and put my hand on his stomach. He instantly came in his pants then whined, "You get me too aroused!"
He yells at me when he breaks something of mine, which is often. He usually says something like, "Stop freaking out! It's not a big deal!" to my reaction of saying his name in an annoyed tone of voice. He does not ever apologize or replace what ever it is that he broke.
His response to my packing up photo albums, irreplaceable books and small family heirlooms into paper shopping bags as a major forest fire bore down on our town: "It's not a big deal! Nothing's going to happen! I'm taking a nap!"
I have asked him about the vertical nail marks that I've seen between his shoulder blades as he walks to the shower. "Are you implying anything?" he'll yell in a threatening tone.
As I collapsed from carbon monoxide poisoning on his dad's boat: "Stop freaking out!" That's the last thing I heard before I passed out.
He is very repetitive.
N: I dont Cheat and I like to cuddle.
Why on earth did I fall for the bull..he was cuddling allright..all over newyork..non cheating ass..someone should cut off a inch of there dick for each lie and for the fun of it..sick
"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess
HAHAHA... I loved that comment. I laughed out loud when I read this. I have fantasized about his shriveling up sometimes. I'm sure after all the STD's he's bound to catch it probably will. (fingers crossed) Muahahaha
Whenever I discuss the ex-Psych professor, I tend to bring up works of classic literature... because he was obsessed with stories. Early on, he asked me if I had read Leo Tolstoy's short story "Family Happiness" (it was inspired by the fact that a younger woman rejected Leo because she found him too controlling) Even in my junior year, he was quoting that story (it's about a younger woman with a controlling older husband who humiliates&insults her)... when he said he "let me loose in the world." That's what the older husband says to his embarrassed wife, saying he "let her loose."
He was fascinated with John Kennedy Toole's "Confederacy of Dunces" (it was almost filmed in New Orleans with Will Ferrell, but Hurricane Katrina prevented it), which is about a fat, masturbating Narc who terrorizes his mother&plots against people. The novel ends with the Narc being hauled to a "charity hospital" (insane asylum) He quoted one of the closing lines saying he sought surcease&(sexual) sublimation in food.
He identified with Andrei Bolkonsky, the Narc lead in Tolstoy's "War and Peace",who emotionally abuses his younger pregnant wife Lisa, then abandons her. After Lisa dies in childbirth, Andrei gets engaged to Natasha secretly-their betrothal is kept private- and he tells Natasha that his father, NOT the both of them-will be raising his son... no wonder the ex-P talked about his engagement being private&having his parents raise his kids. He'd identify me with Princess Lisa or Natasha. He was so paranoid about me reading his beloved "War and Peace" that when I was a senior, we read "Anna Karenina" instead.
He was obsessed with "War and Peace" like some of those World of Warcraft players who play that video game for hours on end, convinced they're blood elves or mages.
I remember him saying "'War and Peace' IS real life!" He was sooo disconnected from reality that he thought he was in a play or a movie. A lot of Ns/Ps here use the "I, me, mine, my" statements--they KNOW what they want. It's ALL ABOUT ME. In the ex-P's case, he didn't know who he was. He'd identify with fictional characters or real life philosophers like Arthur Schopenhauer or Ludwig Wittgenstein- because he didn't know who he was.
Early on, he'd say that I'd reject him because younger women also rejected Leo Tolstoy and Arthur Schopenhauer (he was in his 40s when a teenaged girl rejected him)--he thought he was great as them. Really.
One of his favorite Tolstoy quotes is from "War and Peace" that says "The more precious you deem something, the more you cast it away with joy." The ex-P saw Tolstoy's frequent abandonments of his wife Sofia as proof of his love.
I know, I know, it sounds twisted.... because it is.
Told the narc my stepfather was shot 9 times in his head..
N: I like him aleady
Whaaaaaaaaat? How do you like a dead guy because he was murdered and shot carelessly? A sick boy that narc is pure sick
"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess
This was said in class. The ex-Psych prof compared me to the beauty queen who spouted feel-good sentimental stuff in her debates with... Hugo Chavez. It was called the "Beauty and the Beast campaign"-and Hugo Chavez was considered the Beast. He'd compare me, in class, to the vapid beauty queen who ran against Chavez in the campaign for the presidency in Venezuela. The ex-P was fascinated with how Chavez had been involved in a military coup, and which people got shot on the bridge.
So yes, it was kinda triggering when I listened to the opening of Oliver Stone's documentary "South of the Border" (in which Stone interviews Chavez, Cuba's Raul Castro, Bolivia's Evo Morales) So he thought he was Hugo Chavez. And Ludwig Wittgenstein. And Leo Tolstoy. Because he didn't know who *HE* was.
Since I am feeling better today I am starting to remember some mean things he said... and now I'm getting a tad annoyed.
(1) when we met my marriage was ending and I THOUGHT (because he told me) his was too. He did finally leave but not for me. We had stopped seeing each other by that point and he was seeing his new model GF Miss wonderful. He did confess to me this bit of information-- he told me that out of all the affairs he had on his wife (and he said there were many) that I had lasted the longest most would just last a few months and then fizzle out.
(2) he told me how she had talked him into leaving his wife and then asked me "if you really loved me you would have got me to leave, why didn't you?"
To which I replied "Narc for me to make you to leave your children, your life, your family? No, that's not what I would want to do. What if it was a bad idea, we broke up, it didnt work out? No narc, for you to leave that would have to come from you. It's because I loved you that I did not push you"
He just looked at me and said "oh, I guess I can understand that reason"
(3) he once told me that he wanted me to get back with my husband or get a BF so that i could have sex with him with no strings attached. He said he did not want a relationship.
Oh, but with the model he could move in???? What? I'm good enough to F*ck but not be in a relationship with???? Ummmm... can you say JERK???
(4) He once started yelling at me-- I still have NO IDEA WHY that I was pressuring him into a relationship and how stupid was I if I really thought he would leave his wife for me.
Ummmmm.... #1 I STILL don't know where he got this from as I never said, mentioned, brought up any kind of a relationship and #2 I thought you were breaking up anyway with her stupid????
(5) he once told me "I need a good photo of myself to post on a dating website I can't take any good ones. can you take one for me?"
Oh, this was ok because he kept saying "I keep telling you I dont want a relationship"
(6) He said that meetimg women was like shooting fish in a barrel as he's such a hot, good looking catch.
Ok, so if it was so easy why did he feel the need to convince me????? unless he was rubbing it in my face and then why? what did I ever do to him????
Ahhhhhhh........ thank you ladies, this has been another nice evening of "Narcs say the strangest, meanest, most hurtful, stupid things".
Oh, but this time I am smiling as I type!
Yay for me!
:-p
One day while he was picking players for his fantasy football team he was making conversation with me about his quarter back pick.
N:I'm a back up plan kind of guy (on the fact that his QB was injured)
Me: interesting (I had a feeling he started dating me before he really ended it with his ex)
Ohhh... I used that one on him when we got into an argument about his infidelity.
N: Can you imagine never experiencing another first kiss (on one of his clients getting married)
Me: Are you planning on having another first kiss? (sarcastic look on my face)
N: No, I was just saying...
What an @ss hole!!!
N: Your goint to believe this women over me when you know me so much better. Plus she loves drama. (on his ex and I figuring out he was sleeping with her while he was with me)
Me: So you like to keep people around who love drama. (He had also admitted to texting her from time to time.)
N: we were just friends
Me: RIGHT?!?!
He refused to admit his ifidelity. Mind you, I had given up male friends for him because he said they had alterior motives with me. Such jealousy and possesivenes ... OH and Hypocrit!!!!
N: You're going to regret this. You're making a big mistake.
Me: The only thing I regret is giving you two years of my life.
It's almost like I was in a state of "dumb" when these conversations would pass.. I should have ran at so many different opportunities.
My step father died years ago..told the narc about him and who he was
N: Maybe im him...you stepfather reincarnated
Huh? and How?...Total narc
"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess
It is I have chills to this day because of it..he use to look me in my face with his big narc eyes and say it..
"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess
Heres a few that should have sent me running:
" he should just date her for awhile to get laid"
speaking of dating in general...."just date, take what's yours and then move on"
On narc facebook theres a narc sale Ladies..yaaa!
N- " You ever met someone that makes you feel as if you are the only person I'n the world.. Well if not.. For only.. 9.95! I repeat 9.95! This feeling could be all yours.. Offer expires MARCH 18th.. If not satisfied you will be refunded all .95c of your money.."
March 18th is the narc bday hes turning 21 so hurry before he hits the big two one..you can get your heart broken today for only 9.95
Great Deal right? Only $9.95 (not)
God help me hes a losser forever
Oh and I want my 9.95 back in full plus suffering and stress exspenses..just give me back my heart you can keep your evil cold shallow soul
"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess
Ya I did look..i havent spoke to him since november..but I still look at his fb at times..i guess its still part of the trauma bond
"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess
I have a good reply to: "A game of narc says the darnest things"
"When I heard your voice message I knew that you really loved me." Keep in mind that when I left the message I was hysterical & crying & telling him to never call me again (because of his crazy behavior).
True to Narc form, the night before he had texted me for "legal" advice regarding one of his kids. Of course I spent the better part of the night conducting family law research to answer his questions - which were so important to him. When I called him the following morning he didn't answer his cell phone. After texting & emailing him to call me - he emails me back that he made a mistake and should not have asked me for advice and would not be calling me back. I was soooooooooooooo confused - he asks me for legal advice (which, mind you I had to spend hours researching) and then changes his mind? That was one of the last straws for me. I totally freaked out and left him an emotional/hysterical voice message about how could he do that to me, I spent time researching and had an answer to questions HE asked me, etc.
AND after my hysterical message he tells me that that behavior is what proved to him that I loved him. WHAT THE FU*K?????? You mean my bending over backwards for you in every possible way was not proof enough? He needed me to be hysterical & break down (I am fairly even keel & don't like to lose control over myself and emotions) to prove my love to him.
What a reminder of his craziness. I just relived that awful experience. Thank you for posting this question it makes me realize how much better off I am w/out him. At this exact moment I hate him.
Nan
1. "you act like a spoiled soroity sister when you don't get your way."
(This was his response when I diagreed with him.)
2. "It will kill me to see the man living my life with you." (after he filed for divorce)
Ugh
The ex-Psych prof was fascinated with the disappearance of Grant Hadwin, who chopped down the Golden Spruce in protest. He mocked how scientists tried to re-grow the tree. He'd make comments about how a "serial killer probably got him." Grant's disappearance remains unsolved.
He was also obsessed with what Margaret Profet, a scientist who disappeared in '05 in Cambridge, said about women's diets during menstruation&pregnancy. He had this fixation on what pregnant women ate. (Profet's papers got her controversy-and a McArthur genius grant-back in the '90s, she vanished back in 2005)
yes, they do come up with doozies, huh?!
Here's another one...
when we had a pregnacy scare
Narc Speak
My Narc's one liners
Favorite lines
Made The 100th Post Ya!
"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess
He was running late for our
Just a few....
Crazy!!!
Fun game!
My Ex N told me that he had
My covert narcissist husband....
N: I dont Cheat and I like to
"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess
ImStrong-Wouldn't that be effing fantastic!!
"War and Peace' IS Real Life!"
Told the narc my stepfather
"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess
"You're the Beauty, I'm the Beast"
I just have to say this
Back up plan
My step father died years
"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess
Strong
It is I have chills to this
"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess
Heres a few that should have
Narc sale
"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess
FB
Ya I did look..i havent spoke
"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess
I have a good reply to: "A game of narc says the darnest things"
Nan
some other gems..
Sick fascinations