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Getting a little tired of hearing about "all those other men"

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#1 Dec 1 - 4PM
itreallyisabouthim
itreallyisabouthim's picture

Getting a little tired of hearing about "all those other men"

I just need to vent. During the process of trying to divorce my Narc husband I have received several e-mails alluding to all the other men. He says he's going to go down in history as yet another victim. His mom said something to me yesterday that indicates she's buying it, too. Thanks to this board I know both to expect a smear campaign and that because of his dual view of woman I am now a whore, not the madonna (am I getting this right)? He is also convinced I have a boyfriend. I am nearly 39 years old. I didn't even have sex until I was 18. I have had a few relationships but hadn't married until my lucky number finally came up with him. He is trying to make me sound like the town pump! Grrrr! Of course he's also trying to make me sound like I abused HIM. I did get angry with him (naturally!!!!!!!) but my relationships with "all those men"...I had entire relationships in which not a cross word was spoken. It is not characteristic of me but rather me with a Narc that I get upset at all.

Dec 1 - 8PM
Amazed
Amazed's picture

The Blame Game,,itreallyisallabouthim

My exN did the same thing,,the "other men" 4 of them he could count,,,including the guy at the sandwich shop I was sleeping with (um,,,really?) The guy-friend who I lived with for 6 month (ah,,,very platonic not a chance) My friend since I was 14 (he wishes he could date me,,not!!) And my co-worker,,who,,,aah,,,is engaged,,not a chance. He accused me of sleeping with all these guys,,saying he had proof,,,yeah,,,right,,just like he had me "followed". These guys,, literally, I don't know if its in a break of reality, or what,,they get their "Blame Game" on and all of a sudden turn it all around on you. Don't play the game. Like Barabara said,, do not respond.
Dec 1 - 4PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

itreallyisabouthim

you don't have to prove anything to anyone. Make SURE your lawyer gets ALL those harassing accusatory emails. DO NOT ANSWER THEM!! Business only!!! He's trying to get a reaction out of you. Yes, you found out what he was so now you're a whore. We've all been there - we all know it's Bullshit and infantile. Just look what Psycho-Boy and his proxies posted about me on the net: http://thestumblingblock.wordpress.com/2008/01/12/lashon-hara-from-ywl/ Spare me... could they be more lame? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off. - Gloria Steinem
Dec 1 - 4PM (Reply to #2)
itreallyisabouthim
itreallyisabouthim's picture

Thanks. She has them. She

Thanks. She has them. She even sent his lawyer a cease and desist over them. And I have been GREAT about responding business-only. All of our "e" conversations look totally ridiculous. Me just trying to get a kid exchange time confirmed, and him refusing to answer and trying to provoke me.
Dec 1 - 4PM (Reply to #3)
admin
admin's picture

if he's ignored the C&D

if he's ignored the C&D ask your lawyer to get a RESTRAINING ORDER on these types of harassment... then you can get his ass thrown in jail for hitting send on them!
Dec 1 - 5PM (Reply to #4)
itreallyisabouthim
itreallyisabouthim's picture

He's ignored several C&D's.

He's ignored several C&D's. I sent him an e-mail after he ran off with our daughter asking him to C&D the inappropriate comments in front of her, among several other things (such as refusing to exchange at the agreed-upon place). Fast forward 3-4 weeks, he was yelling at me at the exchange, after parking in a remote area of the parking lot with his arms crossed, leaning against the car, staring at me for 20 minutes before acquiescing and coming to the meeting place. He's a piece of work. Maybe I need a better lawyer. I have had a restraining order after he forced his way into my home, but that is now being used against me for being vindictive. I hate the legal system so far.
Dec 1 - 5PM (Reply to #5)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

multiple CDs?

multiple CDs? sheesh and the lawyer is charging you for all this? (I do CDs for $100 a piece) should have gone to the RESTRAINING ORDER PHASE a long time ago and revocation of his visitation! CDs are easy... YOU NEED A NEW LAWYER. NOW!!! as soon as you find a new TOUGH one - have them help you send a letter to the old one FIRING THEIR ASS. http://www.divorcelawfirms.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off. - Gloria Steinem
Dec 1 - 5PM (Reply to #6)
itreallyisabouthim
itreallyisabouthim's picture

New lawyer

I have tried - don't even get me started!!!!! *whimper* Let's just say I live in a very geographically limited area. So what would be your next step if you knew I had a C&D for this behavior and he did it anyway? I know my lawyer told me to use the C&D language, but she never told me why or followed up on it.
Dec 1 - 5PM (Reply to #7)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

itreallyisabouthim

if you had proof... like emails... take them to your police precinct tell them you want to file a report for harassment on him and do not let them laugh at you, minimize you or try to blow you off. Move up the chain of command but demand to make a report and don't leave without a copy. Tell them you want the police to stop by with a copy of ALL the C&Ds and have a little chat with him because you are SCARED... and keep looking for a NEW LAWYER. How about the next town? Next county over from you? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off. - Gloria Steinem
Dec 1 - 6PM (Reply to #8)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

how to get a restraining order

http://www.womenslaw.org/laws_state_type.php?statelaw_name=Restraining%20Orders&state_code=GE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off. - Gloria Steinem