Go phone is Gone

32 posts / 0 new

#1 Feb 3 - 2PM

rache

Go phone is Gone

Well,i guess some of you knew i had a cell phone(A T and T go phone-he got for me )house phone blocked etc.i was a few days in to NC when at a weak moment last night i answered his call.Guess what? He lied again,wanted phone sex.When i refused to believe his lies and have phone sex with him he said mail my phone back,well,phone isnt going back=i broke it with my hands,took out the battery ,and, let it soak in toilet and both are in garbage can.NC in full force now,and,not looking back.This devil even asked me to marry him at same time he asked for phone sex.Evil incarnate.Thank GOd even that brief two days of NC made it easy for me as i do not feel emotionally attached like i did before.I thinki had accepted the fact he was a liar and a cheat a LONG time ago,and,that is someone i do not want in my life.Plus,he is a CHEAP bastard.

#2 Feb 3 - 5PM

no more

I've been away

but I am back and have had a lot of catching up to do. Been reading all the past posts etc. And I have had some good laughs about some of it. Rache you are hilarious. While I was away I was sort of missing the N but I think it was because I didn't have access to a computer and needed to be reminded how GUTWRENCHING their behavior is. I am still trying to figure out how they play with our minds,and in some weird way keep us thinking about them. because you are right in saying that we would not be attracted to these types if we weren't in some way vulnerable at the time. While I was away my N left a message on my phone asking if I would send him some pics of my trip and letting me know TVS were on sale at Future Shop and if I bought one his services were available to hang it on the wall. WTF I'm sure he did this because he knew I wasn't here during that time and he is playing mind games with me because he probly wants me for backup NS. maybe things aren't going so well with the GF? Personally I hope she sticks with him because I know I won't be going back there ever again. THis is the first contact from him in 4 weeks. But I will not respond and am going to keep up my NC. Keeping up the NC certainly is part of the healing. I don't have to listen to his babble any more because they for sure don't make any sense what so ever. So glad to have found this site to sound off sometimes.

I just got involved with the same N for the second time.
What was I thinking? Because I have put myself back to the same point where I am blaming myself again. And for what?
I want to get rid of these feelings again.

#3 Feb 3 - 11PM (Reply to #27)

rache

sd0355

Yep!Thats what my guess would be-since you haven't heard from him in 4 weeks he and the gf have trouble in Narc world.they are so pathetic,a legend in their own minds.

#4 Feb 4 - 12AM (Reply to #28)

no more

he just

left another message saying he doesn't know if he feels the same about her as he used to. He still has unfinished buisiness with me. I don't think so. He can kiss my A@@ as far as i am concerned. I just want to call him and say I am aware of Ns now but NC is the best. I am so used to being with Ns and I am finished with them. 2 years ago I dated a really nice guy but I thought he was boring,,,,,,,,,,not a bad boy,,,,,,,,,,,,I now realize boring might be the way to go.

#5 Feb 4 - 6AM (Reply to #31)

Barbara (not verified)

sd0355

never do that: http://www.lisaescott.com/2009/09/20/should-you-confront-narcissist-about-his-narcissism ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website

#6 Feb 4 - 12AM (Reply to #29)

rache

Boring may not be boring-just normal

Those of us conditioned to cater to N'S have a hard time detecting normal,but,we are on the right track now.Your N is having trouble with her now,and,if you were to slip up and let him back in -it will be you again in a few weeks,months,years.NC is the only way.These freaks never change-if anything,they get worse.

#7 Feb 4 - 4AM (Reply to #30)

no more

EEEEEWWWWW

Not about to happen.can't EVER go there again.I'm in therapy and NC and healing. Can NEVER go back now,,,,,just need to go forward with my life. It would be like taking a HUGE step backward.

#8 Feb 3 - 3PM

Barbara (not verified)

flush!!

FINALLY!!! go to Walmart - get yourself a new cheap phone with a NEW NUMBER You are back to Day One but good going! BTW Psycho-Boy used to do that to me - call for phone sex then tell me I was his one & only... PUKE ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website

#9 Feb 3 - 4PM (Reply to #25)

rache

It feels good

to take back my power.

#10 Feb 3 - 4PM (Reply to #24)

rache

Yeah,GAGS

Let their new sources get broke in to their sick follies.

#11 Feb 3 - 2PM

quietude (not verified)

rache

He just gives a whole new meaning to the term slimeball. LMAO @ you soaking the phone in the toilet ~ good for you to just get rid of it to help you keep NC.

#12 Feb 3 - 2PM

moving on

Good riddens

I can't believe he talks like that to you. You should record that and send it to his workplace or to his friends so they know how he really is. Keep that NC and never talk to that loser again!!

#13 Feb 3 - 2PM (Reply to #2)

neveragain

I LOVE what you did to that phone!

How symbolic! The act of breaking it and letting it soak in the toilet is fabulous! That's what we should mentally do with all their lame attempts to get us back.....flush, flush, flush. neveragain

#14 Feb 3 - 2PM (Reply to #3)

rache

Girls!

When the pot/skillet gets TOO hot we'll drop it,and,that's just what i did.I stopped with the what "IFS",and,the would have should haves and started looking at the "FACTS" and the facts spoke for themselves-all the other things i was doing were just feeble attempts to hang on to MY dream.A dream, that in reality, was a nightmare.I refuse to accept a man who lies,cheats,emotionally,and,mentally abuses me,and,has pushed me down on occasion,and,it wouldn't have stopped with that either.I would rather be by myself.That OLD 66 year old has been says he is tired of granny panties,well,what young woman wants OLD grand-daddy PSYCHO/narc?with ED.LMAO

#15 Feb 3 - 5PM (Reply to #21)

Kelly

You are my hero!

LMAO!

#16 Feb 3 - 3PM (Reply to #4)

itreallyisabouthim

You go, girl!

"what young woman wants OLD grand-daddy PSYCHO/narc?with ED" Right?!?!? Why do these old shriveled up Narcs think they get to have any preferences at all? :) Mine took out a NSA sex wanted ad and stated he was looking for a woman 20 years younger. Umm...if a woman 20 years younger wants to get laid, doncha think she might look elsewhere? Good for you - on all of it.

#17 Feb 3 - 4PM (Reply to #5)

rache

Grand daddy limp d..k

I do not know why,as,when i was younger i would never go for an old fart.My ex old N wants one 20+years younger and has said young women would rather be ate than f..ked.Boy is he in denial.

#18 Feb 3 - 5PM (Reply to #6)

itreallyisabouthim

rache

LMAO!!!! Yeah, Gramps...you just go on thinking that and see how that goes for ya. ;)

#19 Feb 3 - 11PM (Reply to #7)

rache

narcmagnet,and, itreallyisabouthim

Guess what else? a guy out of town here asked me to go out for coffee last week,and,the date was for tonight at 6:30 pm(granted its been a year since i divorced N),but,during this year he has tried several times to get me back.But,always on dating sites hustling other women/lying about it too.Well,i was debating tonight whether i should go,and,almost talked myself out of it-especially,since i tested at a 27 for being at risk in other relationships!LOL.But,a strength rose up in me and i went.I told my 14 year old daughter to get her brother to come pick me up at 8pm.It was at barnes and nobles starbusks,grins.I got there about 5 minutes early,and,picked up a magazine to leaf through.Here came the most handsome guy! Bluest eyes,and,nice teeth(his own-yeah,smoke that GOLDEN OLDIE!)and he looked at me directly and smiled the biggest smile!((GUSHES)),and,he was NOT at all like N.He was just genuinely nice.Said he was so giddy today and didnt know why,thanked me for putting him at ease(i'm good at that),and,we shared some.I really had a great time! AND,get this=he is one year YOUNGER than me,lol.My daughter showed up(i told her where i'd be and she came with her brother)she actually said he looked nice(she couldnt stand ex N).So,looking forward to actually seeing if there will be another date,but,i got my feet wet in the dating world again.YIPPEE!And just to think that old grandpaw thought HE DD me!UP HIS.

#20 Feb 4 - 12AM (Reply to #20)

no more

I've been asked for a coffee date

And it all seems sooooooooooo scary to me. Don't know that I can go there right now ,,,,,,, but it has not been that long for me yet and I won't do that to myself. To me it dosen't matter how long it has been,,,,,,,,,,,I just need to have MORE self esteem and I can only get that from therapy and NC. I think that is where I'll be for the next 30 years,,,,,LMAO.

#21 Feb 4 - 12AM (Reply to #8)

no more

rache

My god you Always make me LMAO with your comments.Do you truly believe he is any different than your exNH. You thought your exNH was genuinely nice at first. I just want you to be careful and please don't go for another N. Please take care of yourself. Have you given yourself enough time?

#22 Feb 4 - 12AM (Reply to #9)

rache

Time

My N i met online,and,quickly went to phone for 2 years before we met in real time.He would say things that were big red flags but i ignored them.looking back it was there from the start.we would have blow ups where his N rages were horrible even over the phone.I'm much more educated on what to watch for now,even,my shrink said i recognized the flags but ignored them too,so,i just have to listen next time and run like hell!LOl.

#23 Feb 4 - 3AM (Reply to #10)

Kelly

Yes Yes!

Please Stay on Alert!! My last ex N was also extremely charming. Prince Charming! Blue eyes, tall dark and handsome, sooooo "humble." The sexy guy who doesn't know just how sexy he is. Brilliant, top of his class at law school, editor of the law review, motivated and oh so romantic. . . He paced out his big reveals "I'm on powerful anti-anxiety and anti-psychotic meds for insomnia" and his, btw, until five years ago I had a huge birthmark on half my face, but I'm "normal"" - - (Didn't look it up his skin condition until after the breakup - - known to cause severe psychological and emotional development problems.) - - Among the other little Jekyl and Hyde moments. I'm for sure happy for you! You so deserve to be in a healthy relationship. I'm definitely paranoid about dating right now, cause it's too raw for me, but just please please please don't let your guard down because you think he's different. I thought my last guy was different. . . right up until he rehashed the same damn line . . . "I don't think I can give you what you need." Probably the only honest thing he ever said. I hope you take it real slow and see how he responds to you sticking to your boundaries. If he runs because you held your ground and he "didn't like it," it's a GOOD thing! Or if you see ANY behavior that is odd - - WRITE IT DOWN! Keep a list.

#24 Feb 4 - 8AM (Reply to #11)

rache

narcmagnet

I shall.If anything,us girls are a whole lot smarter and stronger coming through this.a question,what kind of skin disease did your narc have?????

#25 Feb 4 - 3PM (Reply to #18)

alfrebob

Port Wine Stain

I am very interested in the comments regarding port wine stain. My ex N had a very large one over his chest, a bit on his arm and a round bit on his neck that looked like a lovebite. He used it to get the sympathy vote from me. Once I found an email he had sent to a Russian girl he met on line who he was invited over to the UK. He was telling her that she needed to know about his birth mark before she comes over and that his mum told him it made him special. He was 47 at the time and had been dating me for 4 months!! Could this birthmark have caused his NPD?

#26 Feb 4 - 5PM (Reply to #19)

Kelly

Port Wine Sympathy Vote here too!

When he showed me that picture, it took over edge to the "Oh, I'm falling in love with you, my hero." From what he told me about his family, I think he could have become NPD anyway. He is the youngest and both of his older brothers are messed up people. He told me his middle brother who is a successful lawyer was a womanizer before he became gay. His dad sounded like a emotionally detached person and his mother sounded like a narcissistic train wreck. He also told me about a crazy uncle on his mom's side who "did very bad things." I can never know for sure, but I think he may have been genetically predisposed to psychopathy and that the port wine stain may have just been what the doctor ordered to make this guy crazy from the beginning. I wanted so much to believe that he had survived his childhood, but I was just fooling myself. I can imagine his crazy mom probably told him his birthmark was just a sign that he is special :) Special people belong in special hospitals and they wear special jackets . . .

#27 Feb 4 - 1PM (Reply to #12)

Kelly

Skin problem

It's called a port wine stain. He showed me a picture of himself when he was a kid. It was a big purple stain on his cheek and above his brow line. He said it faded away finally five years ago, but when I looked up the condition, it says it rarely fades all the way and that people get laser surgery to remove it. Yes! I feel like I have new eyes after all this reading. I hope I don't become too paranoid about men, but I am definitely more aware of myself after reflection and I think I know what to look out for. The true test will be when I do start dating again (eventually) For now, I'm just about healing and being me! Besides, ALL the guys I've ever dated were only 50% my vibrator ;) Private Benjamin is my new favorite movie!!

#28 Feb 4 - 3PM (Reply to #14)

no more

You give them tooo much credit

50%? I wouldn't even give them that. LMAO

#29 Feb 4 - 3PM (Reply to #15)

rache

Mine

Was mostly just jacking a limp noodle-sounded like a wet noodle hitting his leg-or-chicken skin-no hardness 95% of the time and when it was it didnt last,gags.

#30 Feb 4 - 5PM (Reply to #16)

Kelly

LOL

Seriously! Having sex with them, it's like taking pity.

#31 Feb 4 - 5PM (Reply to #17)

rache

you can say that again

pitiful,lmao

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