This is going to be a test....

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#1 Jul 23 - 5PM
rainbow1
rainbow1's picture

This is going to be a test....

Ok, so I work for my biological mother. I run her law firm and am the manager. She does not come in to the office EVER! She has borderline personality disorder and I am pretty sure that she also has N characteristics. We are not that close.

Anyways, she loved my N (of course she would). He was her favorite of all of my boyfriends. She says that she is upset with him for doing all of this to me and for treating me horribly. She has told me that I shouldnt talk to him and that she will never help him again (he used to do projects for her all the time).

However, she has also blamed him leaving on me. She has said that I am clingy, that I am needy, that I need to give him more space, trust him more, she has even gone as far as to say that "I am hard to love". Great mom huh?!

Well, yesterday she told me that she hates my N and today I got a different answer, like always. Apparently work isnt good for him right now and he has to pay for all of those toys of his and needs side work. Today he told me that he starts working for us again on Monday! It might just be for a week or two or until work starts back up for him but still! When he used to work for us he would come into my office every morning to get money for materials (he fixes up her house) and then in the afternoon to give me his hours.

I told both of them that this is their deal and they can work it out so that he doesnt need to come into the office. They both told me no. I told my mom that I am not comfortable with this but she doesnt care. She said he does good work (which he actually does) and that she needs it done. They both told me that I will survive and not to be a drama queen because I will only see him for a few seconds during the day. He told me that he wants to see me so this is one of the reasons why he ran to her today.

I will put up with it and make sure that I look smoking hot during those days ;) but this is going to be a huge test! Wish me luck please!

Jul 25 - 9AM
MelloMix
MelloMix's picture

Dear Rainbow

I think you need to be away from these two. Is there any way you can get another job in another place? You truly won't ever heal until N (and your mother by the sound of it) are not able to control or influence your life in any way. If he is around in any way, he will keep you in his negative energy for sure, and no matter how good you pretend he's not bothering you, he WILL badly affect you. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this and that you don't have the loving support of your mother. take care Mello
Jul 24 - 4PM
NoNarcingZone
NoNarcingZone's picture

Strictly Business

Rainbow, almostlydia was right on. Keep it professional with both your mom & the N. Though it may be difficult initially, try not to let on that the N's presence is a discomfort - especially to your mom (since she thinks you're so needy, etc. Tssshh!) You'll ace this ultimate test of healing. p.s. And looking 'hot' in the process doesn't hurt a bit. It'll give an air of self confidence...AND of...kiss my ass, ya loons! LOL

-------------------------------------------
"Soldier, don't confuse your rank with MY authority!"

Jul 24 - 2PM
Briseis
Briseis's picture

Yes it will :D A test you

Yes it will :D A test you have been studying for, long and hard. I wish we could take such control over our lives that we can just say "No, thanks" to being tested like this. Dream on! You don't have to get an A+. You just have to pass LOL!! Keep us posted. Don't forget this is just a test. Think of the Emergency Broadcast System when it comes on TV. "This is a test, this is only a test of the Emergency Broadcast System" BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. Might make you chuckle a bit. If you can chuckle a little bit about this . . . girl, you got it DOWN. Best of luck!
Jul 24 - 12PM
smileyfacepr
smileyfacepr's picture

Rainbow1

WOW..that suks, but I think best way to handle it is to just treat him as u would any person that is doing a job, very professional, and be aloof, like heres ur check hand it to him and turn around and start doing something else! Dont let him know he is making u uncomfortable and dont let him suck ur energy!!! I feel for u though, easier said than done!! xoxox

smileyfacepr

Jul 24 - 11AM
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Rainbow

OMG, test? This sounds like torture! I'm so sorry you have to be put through this. Please know we are here for you. You will really need to reach out to us during this time, so please don't hesitate. xoxo
Jul 23 - 9PM
Amy
Amy's picture

wow....

Nice support system you have going there! I cannot imagine what that must be like for you. Between your mom and they psycho freak, you have quite the challenge! Please be strong, and maybe stay professional only as others have mentioned. You can do this!
Jul 23 - 7PM
NancyM
NancyM's picture

Rainbow

As if you have not got enough to deal with and now your Mother is making it harder for you. Geeeeez. Wishing you ALL the best of luck, and I will adopt you if you like!!

Nevergoback

Jul 23 - 7PM (Reply to #6)
rainbow1
rainbow1's picture

Yes please!

Yes I dont know my father and my real mother is crazy! Good thing I had my other mom to raise me or else I might be in a mental institution!

_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

Jul 23 - 7PM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

Rainbow

OH FOR SHIT'S SAKE, WHAT NEXT? Honestly, the weirdest thing about these guys is you just don't know what's coming next. You be strong, sweetheart. I just don't get your mom. YOU are the needy one?
Jul 23 - 7PM (Reply to #2)
rainbow1
rainbow1's picture

I stopped trying to figure

I stopped trying to figure her out. Her and my N are almost the same person. No one in my life really noticed this until about a few months ago, but they say and do the same things. My mom started therapy so hopefully that will help. And yes what is next?! He is either trying to hover, or just trying to get some money and help himself, or is doing both! Who knows!

_______________________________________________
"dont let yesterday take up too much of today"

Jul 23 - 9PM (Reply to #4)
almostlydia
almostlydia's picture

whatever he is trying to do

whatever he is trying to do will be no good for you. You know this. Stay strong. Trust only those that are trustworthy.

almostlydia

Jul 23 - 9PM (Reply to #3)
almostlydia
almostlydia's picture

Maybe go completely

Maybe go completely professional on her - this is a job right? No more talk about the personal life. I found it to be empowering not to talk to others about it except in general terms. And save my details for those here who understand. Try that. I swear it feels good. N's are extremely nosy people. It keeps your life in your control and gives them nothing to work with. Stay strong. You are finally taking control of your life, don't give it away.

almostlydia