Goodbye all, I'm going NC

This will be my last post on this forum as I have had enough.

I never dreamed I feel like this as this forum was a lifeline to me when I was in the depths of despair.

However, I feel as though I've just gone through a lightning speed version of my toxic marriage to my ex-n.

Observing and then becoming part of the drama that has played out on here over the last few days has left me feeling just like I did after challenging my ex-n about his behaviour then being given a dose of his lying, denying, gaslighting, crazymaking etc.

No 'real' apologies have been made to those who should have received them; no remorse; just excuses, diversions, evasions, secrecy and projectory accusations.

Also, we are always being told that when the narc tries the "I'm ill, I've lost my job, I didn't say that, I didn't do that," and worst of all, "Stop attacking me (after HE'd been abusive to ME), you're juts trying to make me feel bad" etc etc

I haven't been posting on this forum for a while now. Just coming on now and then and reading. One of the reasons for this was that when I'm struggling as I have been doing for a while now, I cannot function properly and don't have the energy to post.

However, the other reason is that I've become more and more uncomfortable with the 'scolding' responses to posts and the telling people what they should and shouldn't do.

I have had counselling and therapy from several and varied sources here in the UK and have trained as a listening ear for desperate and unhappy people myself in the past.

And I'll tell you now that a well-trained counsellor would never dictate to anybody as to what they 'should or 'shouldn't do. They would not last 5 minutes in their job if they did that.

They can gently guide and steer, but that is all. They have PATIENCE, one of the hardest skills (after 'listening' which very few untrained people do properly). They treat each person as an individual and listen carefully so as to know when the best time for that very gentle steer in the right direction may be.

This is not the best place to find that safe route to real healing and that is a shame as it is a wonderful source for feeling that you are not alone and that yes, there is such a thing as an abusive narc and its not you, it iss he who is the problem.

Having said that, I have gained a lot from this forum and I am very grateful for that.

I also wish everybody here the best of luck in their healing (don't try to rush it - a band-aid hastily slapped onto a very deep, pus-filled wound never works.

I also wish you all hope, peace, joy, patience, gentleness and most of all, love.

XXXXX