Goodbye femnarc

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#1 Aug 12 - 9PM
femnarc
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Goodbye femnarc

I'm writing to let you know I am finally ok. I was very upset with how you handled the last 2 weeks of our relationship. It seemed that I, your supposed "best friend," was the last to know.

I've heard awful things about you that people were anxious to tell me since we parted, things I've been able to validate. It was hurtful, at first, to know you hid these things from me especially after I opened my heart to you and disclosed the most private details of my life in a naive effort to build a solid foundation to last a lifetime. I should've known by your immediate reaction -- questioning why I would tell you something you could not find out on your own -- that you have no idea what true love, being vulnerable by revealing weaknesses, and committing to a lifelong relationship means.

I made excuses for you during our time together that you are the way you are and treat me the way you do because you have experienced so much hurt and haven't had a role model since you were 18. Now, I understand this is just who you choose to be in attempt to hide your true self.

Our counselor who I still see has labeled your condition using a number of clinical terms that I have researched and seem directly on point. Making me feel as though I have a sexual addiction by shaming me because my heart ached for intimacy from the girl I loved and to distract from your own sexual disfunction was a horrible thing to do. Yet, even now that I know who you really are, my heart still aches for you, your past pain, and your inevitable future pain. This is true love, Tiffany; something that, unfortunately, you will never be able to feel.

I'm sorry my body was not as good as your ex fiance's; the one who cheated on you twice, who humiliated you during your engagement in front of all of your family and friends (the 3 friends I met in nearly 2 years), the one who "invested"/stole your mom's life savings, the one who is being federally prosecuted and will go to jail. The fact that you could believe this one aspect of him somehow makes him better than me truly evidences the extent of your disorder. Nothing and nobody will ever be good enough for you

As is, I've taken Bruce's advice and get down on my hands and knees every day to thank God for intervening and saving me. I believed in us and would've stood by you for the rest of my life. My family and friends, while horrified, unanimously agree this is a blessing from God now that they know who you really are and how you emotionally and verbally abused me, someone you said you loved, someone who loved you with all of his heart and gave everything he could give. I'm sorry it was never enough for you.

I've thrown away your remaining items, so there's no reason to come by anymore. We'll call it even for the wear and tear on my furniture, house, and heart.

When I see you out, respect my wish that we ignore each other. Know that I forgive you, but I'll never communicate with you again.