Graphic for the Group

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#1 May 23 - 7AM
Sanity Check
Sanity Check's picture

Graphic for the Group

It may have been Michele who posted this...I can't find it again, but the gist of the post was that we needed some kind of symbol that would represent our group. How about a black N to represent their dark little souls with a red circle around it and a line through the N...like a no parking zone. :)

May 26 - 2AM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

GO TO ZALES.com

http://www.zales.com/custom/index.jsp?pr=y YOU CAN DESIGN YOUR OWN RING...once you play with the rings go to the browser and copy it here so we can see your ideas, there are a lot to choose from...and reasonably priced as long as we're not going 24kt GOLD...you can place the STONE and the engraving on your finished product note I placed the path forward on this ring, but it can be on the outside or the inside...another thing I guess the group needs to decide... This ring in particular is 99 BUT if we can all find something WE all agree on, maybe corporate can be contacted for a group rate...then Lisa could place the order we could pay her through paypal and she could place ONE order that is placed in VOLUME allowing for a discount of sorts...not sure what they would offer, but we could try it, and even if not, this price is not too steep... Hugs!
May 27 - 6AM (Reply to #33)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

LOVE these ideas!

I LOVE these ideas! Things are going to finally slow down for me this weekend. I tried to catch-up on the board last night after a long day of work and teaching, but my body didn't cooperate and I fell asleep. I'm headed into work now, but can't wait to look over all these ideas this weekend! Thanks for submitting them. I'm very excited about this! Have a great Memorial Weekend everyone! Lots of love, Lisa
May 26 - 2AM (Reply to #32)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

It DID NOT TAKE...I will try to make it my profile pic...

OOOH, it will be like I'm wearing my ring...LOL
May 26 - 12AM
Arwen
Arwen's picture

More images and thoughts on breaking free...unbroken chains

We do have a circle of friends here who are linked in an unbreakable round chain. Look at these and tell me what you think of using the linked chain as a symbol of our group and solidarity for the graphic: http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://davidlrattigan.com/Unbroken%2520Chain.jpg&imgrefurl=http://davidlrattigan.com/mandalas.htm&usg=__xIuCREYtElgTOLwXPJvGjAUGUi0=&h=617&w=600&sz=94&hl=en&start=0&sig2=J9-Jppk5NIDq_yoLYjD7Ug&zoom=1&tbnid=3g1GW1Xicx2_qM:&tbnh=165&tbnw=160&ei=dPfdTbyAIoHt0gHe86mwCg&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dunbroken%2Bchains%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D653%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=901&vpy=84&dur=1281&hovh=228&hovw=221&tx=111&ty=144&page=1&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:5,s:0&biw=1280&bih=653 http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.designdenhaag.eu/en/sites/designdenhaag.eu/files/imagecache/690w/vlag/435.png&imgrefurl=http://www.designdenhaag.eu/en/symbols%3Fpage%3D13&usg=__MYlxncEWOOJg6qtOjY9vZ9YQntI=&h=400&w=600&sz=20&hl=en&start=0&sig2=WAgzKGo_3NoZn0zcLoDpzg&zoom=1&tbnid=I1-bpdRq3gCzkM:&tbnh=155&tbnw=264&ei=K_jdTeH0KKnv0gHTl-WwCg&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dunbroken%2Bchains%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D653%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=406&vpy=77&dur=127&hovh=183&hovw=275&tx=211&ty=106&page=1&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:0&biw=1280&bih=653 http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://dlibrary.acu.edu.au/staffhome/bifranzsen/circle_chain.gif&imgrefurl=http://dlibrary.acu.edu.au/staffhome/bifranzsen/&usg=__WZlTRPXs26IVY9ID0IzMRqEaq0M=&h=480&w=481&sz=55&hl=en&start=18&sig2=e537BS-HBpgdxn8p-FPeeg&zoom=1&tbnid=9nKwCoAsWJKfxM:&tbnh=143&tbnw=143&ei=7_jdTYinOYHv0gGh7tnVCg&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dcircle%2Bof%2Bchain%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26sa%3DX%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D653%26tbs%3Ditp:clipart%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=132&vpy=169&dur=103&hovh=224&hovw=225&tx=102&ty=69&page=2&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:18&biw=1280&bih=653 http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.honan.com.au/user_images/Honan%2520Circle.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.honan.com.au/Our_logo-1a-49.html&usg=__U1Z32B7r7i_4PZb8Nn18gHJKJGs=&h=201&w=200&sz=29&hl=en&start=202&sig2=Hja0D1Iue7hlm7LkVmR7Yg&zoom=1&tbnid=vzVzXmwJvTAcUM:&tbnh=141&tbnw=140&ei=kfndTbObC-LY0QHh8MikCg&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dunbroken%2Blinks%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D653%26tbs%3Ditp:clipart%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=483&vpy=386&dur=46&hovh=160&hovw=160&tx=91&ty=97&page=11&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:16,s:202&biw=1280&bih=653
May 26 - 12AM
Arwen
Arwen's picture

ok hang on I have an idea for graphic: helping hands

So we want to convey that we won't stand for abuse and want to show that we stand for the opposite of abuse. So what is the opposite of abuse? Compassion. A helping hand...that's the opposite of abuse. So how about two black hands reaching out to each other in silhouette of light pink quartz or light pink glass. Here are some images of what I have in mind: http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.downtownlongbeach.org/uploads/Helping%2520Hands.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.downtownlongbeach.org/Clean_and_Safe&usg=__Y_F7YcT6VIxiaT-6L14iOUKDQBE=&h=1682&w=2378&sz=102&hl=en&start=110&sig2=DzuxPjrHle06Di0-2dAEDg&zoom=1&tbnid=kxq5jNRvesWFPM:&tbnh=156&tbnw=190&ei=3fHdTZ7vDMTi0gHhqfnbCg&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dhelping%2Bhands%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D653%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=827&vpy=357&dur=144&hovh=189&hovw=267&tx=178&ty=184&page=7&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:5,s:110&biw=1280&bih=653 http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://img.pcdn.vresp.com/media/4/1/e/41e6da9e51/a86f853095/1cc1f122c9/library/helping%2520hands.jpg&imgrefurl=http://hosted.verticalresponse.com/185100/a86f853095/77001939/bccea51926/&usg=__fZsg5-16sX7oleQD1t0PQPjqmUk=&h=260&w=347&sz=17&hl=en&start=74&sig2=LW2GUPXJuZ4g7U7tKF5AFg&zoom=1&tbnid=1KbZE4sNGR6epM:&tbnh=146&tbnw=184&ei=3fHdTZ7vDMTi0gHhqfnbCg&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dhelping%2Bhands%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D653%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=507&vpy=272&dur=697&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=156&ty=122&page=5&ndsp=17&ved=1t:429,r:13,s:74&biw=1280&bih=653 http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://jedward706.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/helpinghands.jpg&imgrefurl=http://jedward706.wordpress.com/category/category5ministries/&usg=__3xzpzibpi7nGMuCCSTqwDmqnczQ=&h=422&w=272&sz=8&hl=en&start=91&sig2=mDkPo2_iIiNxkhS4kDqcPg&zoom=1&tbnid=wKmqQder52pbKM:&tbnh=147&tbnw=115&ei=3fHdTZ7vDMTi0gHhqfnbCg&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dhelping%2Bhands%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D653%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=304&vpy=184&dur=45&hovh=280&hovw=180&tx=123&ty=105&page=6&ndsp=19&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:91&biw=1280&bih=653
May 26 - 10AM (Reply to #28)
Smitten Kitten (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Pictures of holding hands are

Pictures of holding hands are triggers for me, especially like the last one. My N used to send me similar pictures with a caption that said "Never let go" or "Follow your heart as long as it leads to me." ;o( But that's just me.
May 26 - 10AM (Reply to #29)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

oh sorry Smitten...they are

oh sorry Smitten...they are actually not holding hands, they are helping hands reaching towards one another. Sorry you had that experience and resulting sad trigger from such a beautiful image :-(
May 26 - 12AM
Steph
Steph's picture

What about a dragonfly

I like what is symbolizes..... http://www.dragonfly-site.com/meaning-symbolize.html It shows what WE are and have overcome..... Personally, I don't want to wear anything that focuses on the letter "N"....it gives to much credit to THE "N" lol just my thoughts....honeslty, i like all the suggestions here! Maybe we could encorporate all of them.........although that mind end up being one really big peice of tacky jewelery! lol
May 26 - 12AM (Reply to #20)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Strong...I think the

Strong...I think the Dragonfly is too obtuse, too obscure for anyone to being to understand that it represents women who have been abused. I still don't see a problem with the N or a depiction of an abuser raising his hand to a scared woman with a slash through it. Fuck everyone. The truth isn't pretty, why do we have to couch our group jewelry in pretty symbols?
May 26 - 12AM (Reply to #24)
Steph
Steph's picture

I agree patiencegoal....the

I agree patiencegoal....the truth isn't pretty. Abuse though, doesn't just encompass "physical abuse" ie) a man raising his hand to a scared woman...... I think there are many woman out there that think if they aren't being hit or threatened physically....then whatever toxicity they are experiencing..isn't abuse.....know what I mean? I like all the ideas here. I like the idea of a dragonfly or wings ( like Happy1 posted) because it encompasses the strength that we victims have gained; we have OVERCOME, had a "metamorphasis or transformation" , "flown" etc.... that's just my opinion. I am going to purchase and proudly wear whatever the group decides because you guys are my "peeps" and I'm a team player......although if what we all decide is really "yucky".....I may only wear it in private! lol I am kidding of course....just my sense of haha Just giving my two bits, that's all:) xoxo
May 26 - 12AM (Reply to #25)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

staying strong

Of course you are right in that abuse encompasses so much more than just physical abuse...I guess I just prefer strong symbolism. But I will also very happily wear anything the group decides to go with!
May 26 - 12AM (Reply to #26)
Steph
Steph's picture

patiencegoal

how about a man raising his fist to not a WOMAN....but to a DRAGONFLY????? HEY??? see, that's compromise! lol You know I luvs ya. I totally get what you are saying. Whatever is decided amongst the group.....we are both in! and that is what this is all about.....joining together! xoxo
May 26 - 12AM (Reply to #21)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

patiencegoal

Because the jewelery is a symbol for us, but how long do we really want to remember it? It's just MY opinion and I respect yours as well but I think that the goal of the path forward is to heal and move ahead, and as a result of the process what we have is a group of members who have come together and bonded and held eachother up...virtual strangers who do not know eachother personally but have shared some of the most intimate heartwrenching stories and really brought eachother strength, peace, hope healing, and yea, in some cases a return of "loving" feelings we were afraid we might have lost forever, and so when you are done with the harder parts of the process, why be forced to ruminate upon such an ugly part of your life? If you heal it should not hoover over you like a dark cloud. When it is obscure, you know what the color means, you know what a symbol means, and anyone who sees it might say its a nice ring or whatever piece the group decides on, but it's not worn like a banner or a flag...the rest of the world still does not get it...WE CAN CALL OURSELVES "THE NPD ABUSE VICTIM MASONS"...LMAO!...when we see someone else with the jewelery we will "know" but it's not for the WHOLE world to know, folks don't get it anyway, only those of us who have suffered...that's just my opinion, three years from now, if I've invested some cash in a piece of jewelery, I don't want it remniscent of the narc or the abuse or the ugliness at all, I want it to signify that I survived and bonded with some very beautiful, empowering, strong members who saw me through when the rest of the world turned it's back...I want to remember that even when I feel alone, I'm not alone because I am part of a group and I can call one of my siblings in recovery or reach out any time and someone will be there even years later...that's what the "other groups" have and that is what we need to build...and something that WORKS...for our particular situation... Hugs! Please excuse the spelling I can't see too well tonight. I see the red lines so I know there are errors but can't see well enough to fix them.
May 26 - 10AM (Reply to #23)
Smitten Kitten (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I like your ring, Michele.

I like your ring, Michele.
May 26 - 12AM (Reply to #22)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Michele see the new idea I

Michele see the new idea I have: helping hands. I agree with you and realized that what we do all day is help each other. Take a look. I just posted it at the top of thread.
May 25 - 11AM
Happy1
Happy1's picture

check this out

http://nixandstones.com - check out this site. Let me know what you think. It's cool jewelry to support a cause!
May 26 - 12AM (Reply to #18)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Happy

All quite pretty and i think apprppriate. I like the third from left the silver one but I tend to like antique jewelery but they are all very lovely. Hugs!
May 26 - 12AM (Reply to #17)
Steph
Steph's picture

just looked at this link and

just looked at this link and LOVE IT! I thought a dragonfly, but this pic of wings....purple wings! is awesome! great idea!!!! I'd support it!!!!!!!!!
May 25 - 11PM (Reply to #14)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Great ideas!

Yes, I think a ring is the perfect symbol of what The Six Steps are all about - finding ourselves again! Like Goldie said: "I would view the ring as an engagement to myself, that I am at long last engaged to me for maybe the first time in my life. A celebration of me and finally falling in love with myself and letting go of that self defeating codependent, people pleaser, crying little girl, screaming for some LOSER to throw her a bone." I am going to create two symbolic reminders for us to wear. One at a low price point (the purple rubber bracelet) for newcomers as a reminder to stay on the Path Forward and another at a slightly higher price point (the ring) for those who have worked The Six Steps. Nothing too expensive, but it will be authentic and genuine to represent our newfound self. I like Beth's idea to have a fund to help those less fortunate buy their "graduation" rings! I'm on it unless anyone thinks I should pursue another avenue. I love these ideas. Thanks ladies! It's unfortunate, but very true that when coming out of an abusive relationship, we need a visual reminder to go easy on ourselves, find ourselves and love ourselves again. Self-Compassion is the key to healing!!!!! These symbols will help us stay on the Path Forward and create a sense of unity and sisterhood that will last forever. xoxo
May 26 - 12AM (Reply to #16)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

If anyone does not object

I think SILVER will fit most budgets... We may be able to get something custom designed if we search around. Many do wholesale, and if we look at "birthstone" engraveable type jewelery we might be able to have a crest of angel wings put on top of a purple amethyst stone and have "The Path Forward" ingraved on the inside...the angel wings would be flat, like a crest small, but tasteful sort of like a graduation ring, and we might all be able to afford a ring. Rubber bracelets to rings....I dunno...equally, if we go with rings, some places offer the same ring in silver AND gold, so those who want to go full throttle can, while those who are okay with silver fine...and if it is purchased WHOLESALE in a large quantity it will keep costs down. I played with some numbers today. Rubber bracelets can be had for up to 75 percent less depending upon who you deal with and what quantity you order...same with jewelery. Check out Eve's Addiction they have silver pieces, and perhaps they could help us or lead us to where we need to go. It's all about networking, everyone wants to make a buck, but it does not have to cost US an arm and a leg...looking at the BIG picture, what we do here and now, is allegedly the legacy we are molding for the future members so we have to keep our future members in mind and their needs too as well... Hugs!
May 26 - 12AM (Reply to #15)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Lisa

The other idea I had (and if you scroll down you'll see I am still in favor of the black N with a slash thru it over a beautiful pink stone of some kind of pink glass), would be to have a black slash thru a picture of a man or an aggressor with his fisted hand raised over a woman as if to hit her, and she is cowering, and the two figures would be in black silhouetted by a background of light pink quartz or glass. That would show clear abuse, with the slash through it, denoting that we will not stand for abuse. I'm one of those very "direct" types when I come up with images in my own work, and I like to be able to understand what I am looking at instantly. Just my thoughts.
May 25 - 10AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Great Idea!

Thank you Happy for stating this great idea! We could raise funds and forward them to a women's shelter! Hunter
May 26 - 12AM (Reply to #12)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I thought that the funds would go

Towards being able to set up more groups. There is alot of ground to cover and a lot of expenses invovolved...we're starting out at the grassroots level, spaces have to be rented, porters paid for overtime at meeting halls coffee and doughnuts, the costs of printing materials...and some groups may be large some small and there needs to be a nest egg in place to maintain security during the start-up...although in some cases, sometimes shelters have "meeting rooms" and if the walls could be penetrated it could be a win win where if the rental is reasonable and in keeping with what we would pay within the confines of what I believe right now will be a very tight budget, we could elect to hold meetings there and pay them the rental fee and whomever in the shelter needed support could join in as well, but if they're charging more than St. John the Healer's Church...I think we'd end up at St. Johns...and that is where the funds would have to go.
May 25 - 10AM
Happy1
Happy1's picture

Goldie

I emailed a site called "jewelry for a cause" also to see if they design rings. 8-)
May 25 - 10AM (Reply to #10)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Sounds good

Let us know G
May 24 - 8AM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I really love this guy's work

http://www.etsy.com/shop/Nixcreations?ref=top_trail And thought that maybe we could get him to work with us on a custom design. We talked about having something unique. All his pieces are handmade and very affordable. Take a look. There are some pieces I see already that I thought could be modified to our specifications... I'm thinking that maybe the steam punk designs could be modified to our specs, and perhaps a purple stone but not a dark purple stone, something clear. AND/Or he has these tree of life pendants and these pendants with "suns" inside of them, perhaps we could design a cameo of sorts? Just a thought...something unique to us, that when we see it we know who "we" are... Hugs
May 26 - 12AM (Reply to #8)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

I still really like the black N with a slash thru it over pink

Michele wow that is beautiful work on Etsy. Gee I still somehow love the black N inside a circle with a slash across the N. It could be a pendant or a ring. Someone in the group said it would give too much attention to the narc but I don't think so. We need a talisman, a protection of some sort to ward them off. And people will ask what does "N" stand for, and we can explain that it means narcissist. Then they will ask what that is and a conversation can be sparked and we can inform others. I mean, we are battling pathological narcissism, it is our cause, so why not make it as direct and real as possible? The thing with the angels wings and other stuff like that reminds me of tattoos worn by my ex N and Hells Angels. It's tacky I think. Just my two cents.
May 24 - 8PM (Reply to #7)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Yes, great work!

Yes, this guy makes beautiful jewelry. Very unique pieces. I love wearing unique stones, especially on my hand. I love rings. Tiger's Eye is one of my favorite stones. I love the Purple Stone idea. We could make a purple stone ring and make purple rubber bracelets that say The Path Forward. I would wear them everyday! Thanks for the great ideas, Michele!
May 23 - 9PM
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

I think Happy posted it

I know I haven't had time to post lately due to my new job, but I do check in as often as I can. I think it was Happy who posted something about having a logo of some kind to show our sisterhood and solidarity. I think this is a fabulous idea! I know some of you have t-shirts that say "It's All About Me" and I love that. I have one too. I agree that having an "N" for a symbol would be like recognizing their power and we don't want to do that. We want to recognize OUR newfound power and unity. I love the coat of arms idea as it conveys this perfectly! I love the "All About Me" shirts, but that may confuse people. The shirts are fun, but they don't convey or represent what we're really about. I love the Coat of Arms idea on a ring and if some of you want to design something, please go for it! I am finally working again and will invest in whatever symbol you all choose for our group. I think it's an absolutely wonderful idea and am so glad you all thought of it. Goldie and Michele are going to start putting together 6 Step meetings. We will start by holding them virtually and then as the group grows, we can start holding live meetings and maybe even an annual meeting here in Chicago. The Six Steps provide us a Path Forward. I can't wait to hear everyone's ideas on choosing a coat of arms or logo or symbol or design to represent our solidarity and sisterhood. I'll throw out a couple ideas that come to my mind and then please add to the list. 1) A pink rubber bracelet with the words "The Path Forward" on it. 2) A ring with the letter "P" for "The Path Forward" surrounded by a circle. The circle represents the unity of our group and the P represents "The Path Forward"
May 25 - 10AM (Reply to #5)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

The "All About Me" T-shirt is

The "All About Me" T-shirt is such a cool thing that Hunter came up with and I truly love wearing it! Especially on down days and we need an uplifting. I definitely feel the ring is cool because we can always look down on it ourselves if we need the reminding of how far we've come and we should all feel we are in recovery right now. It's a wonderful thing to be away from the Narc's. I myself wouldn't necessarily want to wear an "N" but something that symbolizes recovery and strength as I said in my post earlier in the week. It's very cool!!