Hard day again

Oh yeah. remembering the good girl, she was so special acting, so sweet acting, such a wonderful mask. Reality won't have a hard time competing with the reality of her, because I understand the disorder now. I hadn't seen the mask much for years, but the new guy got to see it for awhile. While I was paying the bills including her gym membership, where the affair began...what irony...I buy the membership and pay the dues so she can go there and they can tell each other how unhappy they are with their spouses. Now they have each other without the encumbrances of spouses and shangri la aint what they told each other it would be. Too funny that he is a psych major, lol double lol. So maybe a little fairness has crossed their paths, too bad so sad! Missing a dream is where you will eventually be...you will get comfortable with the notion of what he really was eventually, just keep reading and sharing! ds

Yes, the pain is appalling. The pain of "what never was". The awful realisation that there was never anything there, you weren't there, he wasn't there. There was no "good" guy. In fact there was neither good nor bad, in reality. Just nothing. NPDs are pathological liars, which means they don't lie for the reasons an ordinary person might, now and then. They merely say the first thing that comes into their heads, because they are living by a script. No thought goes into it. It is truly hard to understand it. I wish too, even now, that I had never met this person. All the best Hermes

Exactly.......the OW is the one that loses as well. Anari, be happy you escaped. Like everyone here is saying. You dodged a bullet. What our narcs have put us through, emotionally, is hard to get past sometimes, but we do get past it. It's kicking a habit, that's all it is. If you went on any other support site, for smokers, drug addicts, alcoholics, they are all struggling, to get past the temptation. Hang in there and stay strong!

because if you text and said something like what you wanted , he would either ignore or he would come back with some shit to REALLY piss you off then you would really feel like you had to defend, then he would say something like...get a life or look how crazy you are glad I moved on...ect YOU WIN because you came here. You win because you kept your sanity intact.