Has anyone seen the movie "Crazy Heart" with Jeff Bridges?

OMG, I can't remember the last time I've been in so much pain. I'm reeling right now. I haven't cried this hard in a long time.

As some of you know, I was engaged a year and a half ago to an alcoholic and had to end it because he couldn't get sober. I gave him so many chances. Has anyone ever been in love with an alcoholic or addict? Watching this movie tonight was very triggering.

The man I almost married before that was a drug addict. He never did his drug of choice around me, but would disappear on 2-3 day drug binges.

I dunno what I'm rambling about! It's embarassing, really. I'm just sharing and getting it out, I guess. Since I finished writing my first book, I have tried real hard not to talk about any current relationships on here. While I'm not going to start doing that, I feel a need to get a little of this off my chest and apologize to you for being so quiet lately.

I just got out of a relationship with my college sweetheart who I don't think I ever stopped loving. We reconnected a year ago and have been trying to date long distance for the last 11 months. He lives in San Diego. He told me three weeks ago that he didn't want to continue our relationship because it's too much work/effort to date long distance. Crushed me. I'm still reeling. I'm not worth the effort? How insulting.

While it's painful, I can say that after being that insulted, I will NEVER look back and wonder again. I can tell myself I gave this relationship everything I had. Like he said in his last e-mail he "simply couldn't meet me half-way." There's nothing I can do about that, but move on and tell myself I deserve better. Way better.

Anyway, I'm trying to pour my energy into the 2nd book, but it's hard to give advice when you're hurting like this. I need everyone's help to finish this book. It's half-written, but I've hit a bit of a road block. I come here a lot to read and get inspiration from all of you, but like I said, I haven't been feeling like I'm in a position to give advice lately.

The new book is going to cover the 6 Steps to getting over him. I'm in the first step all over again for what feels like the 800th time so I appreciate everyone's patience. I know I've been talking about these steps for a long time now. While the book is delayed, at least I can assure you that these steps will be put to the test as I develop them. What's better than real-life practical experience to test the effectiveness of a recovery program?

The new website is going to be awesome. We're still trying to figure some things out, but the important thing is to give everyone the ability to connect directly - send private messages to one another, chat privately, or chat as a group. I'm really excited about it and hope you are too.

So back to my point, I need some help finishing this book. If you don't mind if I quote you in the new book, please let me know. The new website will also have a section on the front page titled "Member Advice." This section will be for the purpose of quoting member's advice that we feel is very poignant and profound. Mariline just posted a topic on some of her favorite contributors here and I thought it was beautiful what she said. The idea to highlight advice from different members as a weekly feature on our new site is something I'm vey excited about and hope you are too. Don't worry - we won't quote anyone without their permission.

As soon as possible, we'd like to have you test the new site and give us your feedback on what you like and don't like, but from what I understand having a chat function is at the top of the list of requests. If that's wrong, please let us know. Chad, Betty and I are working behind the scenes to create a site that will allow you to interact and connect with one another even more than you do now.

It helps so much to talk to people who get it so thanks, as always, for being here. xoxo