having a rough time

13 posts / 0 new

#1 Mar 1 - 5PM

bitterdestiny

having a rough time

So I'm trying NC again :( and I'm just having a rough time with it. I don't know why its only day jesus, I guess it just makes me feel pathetic I let someone get in my head to that extreme. Also I have a kinda weird situation I became friend with one of his supplies. Is that normal? Should I cut off contact with her as well? She changed her number and said she has not talked to him but I found out last week he had emailed her and she responded. She said it was defending me because he had asked to see her and she knew I had a date with him( the first one in 3 years) so I don't know what to think or do and I think its making it harder for me to stay NC since we were in competition with each other all last summer. Ugh sorry had to vent, therapy is not coming soon enough this week lol

#2 Mar 2 - 12PM

Piscesdream

Last night I decided to

Last night I decided to block him. Not because he keeps calling over and over, but because it's been a week now and I haven't heard from him since last Monday when he offered lunch. It's as if he disappeared...so I blocked him last night because I don't want to keep checking my phone to see if he's called. I can't do that to myself again. My sanity is more important. This is my first day of NC. Hope it works this time around.

#3 Mar 2 - 10AM

whatever2009

I didnt want to believe it either...

Ive been just over 2months no contact now. I was posting here forever before I came to my FINAL straw. I felt pathetic, used, stupid and I knew it! I knew in my heart what was really going on. I was terrified to walk away from him. And mine doesn't have money and isnt successful etcetcetc. He made me feel "needed" and he took advantage of me wanting to be loved and be a part of something. The ladies here pleaded with me, and told me to run like hell. I still did the back and forth only to prolong the inevitable. You feel like no one could possibly know how you feel, and no contact seems so harsh and cold and really hurts you. However like I you will grow to learn, yes it hurts, but its the only way. Type my name into the search engine on here, and you will see all my pleas and tears and "not getting it". We have all felt this way at some point. You need to value your sanity and self-worth, only then will no contact work for you. I miss things everyday, but Im learning to love myself, and want to be the best friend/person,and mom that I can!!!!! When I feel it I post here and get support. You can do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#4 Mar 2 - 10PM (Reply to #11)

reneek

maybe I am wrong, but

the dance is usually part of the process. I've read so much on abuse and women go back hoping it will change over and over again. You are not the first and will not be last -- don't beat yourself up, don't judge yourself mercilessly. This stuff is hard. Sheeshh if you read my stuff you would see what a lunatic mine was and truly though I left him fully about a year ago after 1.5 years of dancing with him it was painful -- I thought about him, missed him, wanted some of his charming things back -- little by little each day that passes and it is a rare moment where I find there is something about him I miss ... this is a process, be kind ... and even when we tell you to get the "blank" out of it, you will do it when you are ready. My first therapist said to me a long time about another situation. You will end it when you are ready -- right now you are still getting something you need -- I don't doubt you will leave, but don't be hard on yourself for the time it may take to really do it and then for the healing process. It was good advice!

a woman learning to love again

#5 Mar 2 - 5PM (Reply to #7)

bitterdestiny

whatever

Yeah I feel that way, it just seems surreal like maybe he's not. But I swear you're all sleeping with him cause I've heard all of the same things from him, so I guess that's all the proof I need. I just wow I don't know. He knows I'm slipping away so I'm waiting for the full force effect to come on. But I guess deep down is my biggest fear that he won't even notice I left. I know emotionally I mean nothing to him but knowing and being able to wrap my head around it are two different things. Good luck this time and if you need to vent I tend to have a good ear :)

#6 Mar 2 - 10PM (Reply to #8)

Barbara (not verified)

bitterdestiny

You will never get out if you wait for the "full effect." That ONLY happens AFTER you leave. Get out now! http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/08/05/100-ways-get-out-safely ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

#7 Mar 2 - 10PM (Reply to #9)

bitterdestiny

barbara

Are you kidding? I already get upwards of 70 calls a month without leaving. I know you've done your research so I know what you say is truth but dear god I don't know if I have the strength to fight off more then he already pulls. The calls the showing up, the name trashing doesn't bother me we live 70 miles from each other. But I know when I met someone before he was like a crazy man, now I just want out. I made a vow to myself if he screwed up again I was done, it took him 3 days to screw up. So now I'm taking back my life. But isn't there a chance he might just not care I leave? Can you tell I'm in a panic right now??

#8 Mar 2 - 10PM (Reply to #10)

Barbara (not verified)

bitterdestiny

leave block him block the calls file an R.O. file a harassment order no I'm not kidding. CUT HIM OFF. 70 calls is harassment. ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

#9 Mar 2 - 10AM

moving on

Cut Off for Your Sanity

Hi BitterDestiny, I am also going through NC. This is Day 2 for me. Yesterday was like an eternity for me. It is helping though that nobody really knows about me and the N and the people who do don't know him. Indirectly you are in contact with him through this girl. Just cut her off. Who is more important - you and your mental health or her?

#10 Mar 1 - 7PM

bitterdestiny

When she changed her number

When she changed her number and left him he barely blinked, now they were only involved for about 6 months. What are the chances I will get off that easy? Its been almost 3 years with me.

#11 Mar 1 - 6PM

bitterdestiny

Months seems like forever

Months seems like forever right now..and it because she still has contact with him even tho its rare or just because she was his supply?

#12 Mar 1 - 6PM (Reply to #3)

Barbara (not verified)

that's just the way it is - I don't make this up

both ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

#13 Mar 1 - 5PM

Barbara (not verified)

bitterdestiny

it's still early for you. Their brainwashing takes soooo many months to deprogram from. It truly is criminal. Should I cut off contact with her as well? Yes unfortunately. ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

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