He sent flowers....

Think of the flowers as flowers you took home from his grave, he is dead to you now. Enjoy the flowers in hope of a better life with him gone.

The flowers are not an expression of his love or care for you. It's his image he is concerned about. Notice how he did it in a very public place?? It's so he looks like a normal / nice person who actually has feelings . lol..As if! It's all about him. I WILL Survive. I WILL thrive. KARMA DAYS ... KARMA DAYS!!!!!!

I feel for you. Mine has been doing things like that for years. He tells me he will never stop! It makes it hard when you feel that some response on your part is necessary. Ex-N knows you are a "good person", and good people do they right thing after receiving a gift. For years I kept getting sucked back into his trap by tactics like these. Now you are smarter and know that you are a good person still, but a response is neither required or recommended. You rec'd his flowers and know that you have won. N is miserable. That is the best you are going to do. I am happy you put them somewhere else. Now just forget about it. I know it is hard to not do anything, but you must. Stay NC.

NOT! That guy is totally looking for one thing - reaction, acknowledgement, that you still care. If you respond, he will THINK you care and try to weasle his way back in. If you ignore, he will THINK you don't care and might still try more. Whatever you do, you must always always ignore. It's not sweet coming from a psycho - it's actually kind of scary. V-day is coming up and he was probably waiting for it so he could send those to you. It's part of his sick and unfortunatley tried and true ways to get his abusees back. Just say no...or better, say nothing!!! :) Be strong girl.

Good for you to ignore it and pass those flowers along to someone else. My ex tried to communicate in a very odd way with me recently by sending me something (I won't say exactly if he ever reads here). It was very sneaky, because it was in a way that he would have known if I took action. It's hard to explain without spelling it out. But after many months of nothing, he does this - which proves they can pop up at anytime, too! So far, nothing firm has happened, and I hope it stays that way. I don't want him to 'see' me do anything, I don't want him to know anything about me, I want him to forget I exsist.

for your own sanity - you must NOT ACKNOWLEDGE... if you do you will be SUCKED back in and go back to SQUARE ONE with your healing. Any hospitals or doctors offices nearby? Take the flowers there on your lunch hour. Get rid of them. ASAP. You MUST tell reception - or at least that they are not to accept ANYTHING from your ex in your absence. Talking about abuse is a huge step in healing from it. These are NOT HUMAN people... they are COUNTING on your NORMAL responses, such as acknowledgement - to help HOOVER YOU back in. Don't do it... it's simply not worth it. ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website

Donate them to the front desk so you don't have to look at them. Do NOT bring them home. Let them decorate the reception area. Instruct reception that he's an abuser and that if you are not there, she is not to sign for flowers, packages, etc for you. Let her know you aren't mad at her - just inform. for next time. IGNORE. Flowers don't make up for abuse... ever. NO CONTACT. ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website