help please

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#1 Oct 11 - 10AM
grossot
grossot's picture

help please

What do Ýou think I should do?

Remember that wierd thing where when I pick her up on his sundays she cries in his presence and cracks up laughing the second he's out of sight?

Well I'm planning on videoing it today with my phone for evidence for the court appointed psych. Is this a bad idea. I don't wanT to do anything illigal but I want to prove this odd behavior. If I do this do I have to tell him I'm recording? How will he react. He doesn't know this is what she does when he walkas away.

Help please. Picking her up today at 5.

Thank u.

Oct 12 - 8AM
grossot
grossot's picture

my girl's fine

Thanks for your'all's concern. Honestly I'd be in a psych unit if it wasn't for this forum and everyone's support. Sigh.... Same old... At 430 I still hadn't heard from him so I emailed and said I'm on my way your house 5 He said make it 515 I said bible club starts at 530 He said what about makeup time. I did not respond. Again he said makeup time? I emailed him my attorney's # He said then you can pick her up at 6 I said she will miss bible club He didn't respond I said I'm already on my way (i use my phone to email) He said then u better turn around and come back at 6 I said she loves bible club please don't make her miss it He said she loves me please don't make her leave me I didn't respond He said my attorney is **** **** he is in the phone book I said I know thanks I got to his house. Gf's van is there I email. Ok I'm in the driveway its 515 No response I sit till 525. Nervous. Sweating. Shaking. He and gf and kids come walking down the hill from the neighbor's all dressed up. When they see my car they hold hands and flirt with one another. N walks casually into house as slow as possible. Oh yea there were other emails from him saying. The lawyers aren't doing anything. You havnt come up with a parenting plan with me. You lied you destroyed (me taking her to bible club) then he casually comes out and I roll down my passenger window. He said are we going to work this out or the lawyers. I said the lawyers. He said ok 6 o'clock then. I said so you are making her miss bible club. He said no you were not invited here. Do you want that stuff? He wants to clean out his house so gf can move in. I say I don't have a house to put it in. He says you have a job you can buy a house. I said yea you too he said this is my house see it right here I said oh the one your dlinquent on. I'm keeping tabs on that. Meet me at mcdonalds at 6. We did she missed bible club. Oh yea I daid pick her up early on fridays if you want makeup time with her. He said that's my day anyway. He talks to me like I'm a child. My daughter did not see it. She was in the care of the good which (gf) while her wicked evil mother (me) fought for her rights in the driveway My atty is supposed to be talking with his atty about makeup time. I said he should be made to take her to bible club like we did last year. He won't bc I lied to everyone there about him and daughter and they loolk at him different Impossible!!!! ~Give a Narc an inch and they become the ruler~ nolongercontrolled
Oct 12 - 10AM (Reply to #17)
4joys (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

makeup time

I'd like to kick him in his sorry makeup-time ass! This one is a real winner. Keep things as short as possible with him. Very business like. You are doing a good job. Now you need to just tweak it.
Oct 12 - 9AM (Reply to #16)
NanC (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Grossot

Omg! What an asshole! Just reading how he treats u pisses me off! I can just picture him flirting & his gf thinks she has herself a real prize! Well you know better than that! He's a selfish jerk & a poor excuse for a father! If he really loved your daughter, he wouldn't make her miss something she enjoys, especially when its something as positive as bible study! We have to remind ourselves that these are miserable sad people, no matter how much they want to pretend!
Oct 12 - 9AM (Reply to #14)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

idiot

Dang grossot, sorry you had to deal with this. I would pick her up at the scheduled time, stand outside the car. If she's a minute late, reach in your car, and grab a date book...start documenting, looking at your watch. If he talks to you, don't respond other than saying, it's 5:30, time for me to pick her up. If he argues, keep making notes. Anything but looking at him or the GF. (maybe even wear dark sunglasses, like poker players do!) Look at the trees, the other houses. Stand there stoned-faced until he hands her over. Give the loud and clear message, NOT interested in what you have to say. Ho hum. Don't let him know it gets to you, in a slow and relaxed manner, just keep making your notes as if you're recording everything. Engaging him in conversation just gives him more reason to abuse you. He seems to love pushing those buttons (as they all do). If you need your stuff picked up ever, give someone a list, and have them get it for you. Maybe this will help you during the pick-up times.
Oct 12 - 1PM (Reply to #15)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

grossot

send this scenario to your attorney ASAP. Tell him THIS GAME PLAYING NEEDS TO STOP. tell them the gf stuff is also confusing your child... Tell attorney to write him a STRONG LETTER. Period. he's a complete asshole... no more conversations. He starts talking to you - give him a blank stare. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Pathologicals only discard the best, most precious of gems of people... not the worst. They despise the strong, principled, decent & honest. Their discarding of you is then their highest commendation of your worth!" - A.V.
Oct 11 - 2PM
grossot
grossot's picture

ok

Alright. I will thank you everyone. Please pray that she does that behavior so that I can catch it on video. (Even tho I hate that she is doing this) Yes - good point 4joys. Thanks for bringing that up. I am trying to get supervised visitation with her father so I think there's a risk either way. Even if I just tell psy evalutor what her behavior is he will find out from her sessions with the evaluator and take it out on daughter. So once again I'm backed into a corner. Thanks everyone! ~Give a Narc an inch and they become the ruler~ nolongercontrolled
Oct 11 - 3PM (Reply to #12)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

grossot

TELL the evaluator you're very worried if he finds out you documented this he will take it out on your daughter. She might be able to hold it back... worth a try. And it's totally honest ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Pathologicals only discard the best, most precious of gems of people... not the worst. They despise the strong, principled, decent & honest. Their discarding of you is then their highest commendation of your worth!" - A.V.
Oct 11 - 10AM
grossot
grossot's picture

thank yo

Thank you for your quick responses. I feel better knowing others feel the video is ok to do. I'm concerned because I'm afraid N is going to say "what are you doing". I think I have to have him in the video to show her clinging to him before the laughter. Idk. Maybe I can wait until he's almost ready to walk away and she's in her carseat already. I hate that I even have to be worried about this. Thank you ~Give a Narc an inch and they become the ruler~ nolongercontrolled
Oct 11 - 10AM
malloryforest
malloryforest's picture

grossot

I think you should record the behavior. You never have to use it, but you do have it as an option. You are recording your daughter's behavior, not his. If you can't use it in a legal setting, then you won't. You can always take it, and then find out from your lawyer if it is permissible. Your X doesn't have to know that you took the video, correct? You may also want to show it to your daughter's therapist?
Oct 11 - 10AM (Reply to #2)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

grossot

Laws vary from state to state, and then there are additional caveats depending on what the recording is used for. If you're just recording your daughter's reaction, I don't see anything wrong with that. But if you can actually use it in court would be something your lawyer can help you with. If it were me, I'd record it just in case.
Oct 11 - 11AM (Reply to #3)
4joys (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

My only concern is for your

My only concern is for your child. Is he the type of person who, if he saw it, would get angry at her and take it out on her in the future? Otherwise, I know little about law.
Oct 11 - 1PM (Reply to #4)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

grossot

Definitely show it to her therapist... and your lawyer. Get the lawyer's take on her bizarre behavior around him. Do whatever it takes. Go for it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Pathologicals only discard the best, most precious of gems of people... not the worst. They despise the strong, principled, decent & honest. Their discarding of you is then their highest commendation of your worth!" - A.V.
Oct 11 - 8PM (Reply to #5)
grossot
grossot's picture

*!#*!!!*#@!#!#**@!#

Sh*t for brains fu**ing Narcissistic son of a b*tch with twisted fu**ing backstabbing manipulating illogical con artist methods who doesn't know how to do anything but blame shift, lie and be down right mean. And is incapable of providing even the simplest gesture of giving even for his own precious child. Please tell me there's a special place in satan's lair for him. Thanks I knew you would all understand. ~Give a Narc an inch and they become the ruler~ nolongercontrolled
Oct 11 - 10PM (Reply to #9)
malloryforest
malloryforest's picture

beautiful

You stated that most beautifully. They are all going to come back for a second round of life, but this time they are going to have to either date or marry each other. Let us know you are ok, and what the scum bag did this time. Also let us know that your girl is okay.
Oct 11 - 10PM (Reply to #8)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

grossot

Yes, he will be joining mine and many others in the 9th circle of hell... What's up girl? :(
Oct 11 - 10PM (Reply to #6)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

grossot

so when you calm down - tell us all what Mr. Wonderful (gag) did so we can all call him names on your behalf. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Pathologicals only discard the best, most precious of gems of people... not the worst. They despise the strong, principled, decent & honest. Their discarding of you is then their highest commendation of your worth!" - A.V.
Oct 11 - 10PM (Reply to #7)
4joys (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

What did that SOB do now?

What did that SOB do now?