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how can i trust anything this man says

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#1 Nov 9 - 6AM
jaycee
jaycee's picture

how can i trust anything this man says

for several weeks now, my hN continues to tell my and our daughter that hes looking for his own place and will be out of whores apt before thanksgiving. he keeps saying he will figure something out, rent a room, or find someone to crash with. my problem is i dont believe him and its giving me such anxiety, i have told myself, over and over again, if this is a lie, im done, id rather be homeless, i will go completely nc if he is still there on thanksgiving, i dont care if he stops paying the bills, i dont care if i ever see him again, this is the one lie, i will not accept. simply because he has carried it on daily for several weeks, telling me, once i have my own place, i can have our daughter over a couple nights a week, even if im renting a room, she can stay with me, i will be able to work on the house when i want without answering to her, he keeps saying i dont want to answer to her anymore, i want my freedom, but girls, we all know, he is a pathological liar, and believes in his sick mind, nothing he does will ever cause me to go nc. hes so wrong, im done forever if hes with her on thanksgiving. i will play the game, if he leaves, i will let him pay for everything, fix everything, but if he stays, i will send her a copy of all the texts and the phone bill and let her know, hes a monster, and is using her, i will let her know, i am through listening to him tell me he doesnt love her, and wants out. this morning he text me and said, im sooooooo out of here.........so lets see.......can a pathological liar believe his own lies, yes he can, but lets see if for the first time in his life, he is telling the truth. two and half weeks and we will all know.......and trust this, he is so done, and so gone from my life forever if he is lying about this, our daughter is so excited all she wants is him out of there so she can have a real relationship with him, as the whore, freaked again last night because he spent a couple hours with our daughter, she kept calling him, and he had to go to his car to call her back, he told me they fought all nite because of it, lol guess she didnt know he was here, eating dinner watching tv and hanging with his daughter, she probably bought his bullshit that they were at the mall. or maybe she knew he was here, either way, the whore doesnt even want him with his daughter, how sick..........so can i believe anything? can a liar be telling the truth for once?

Nov 9 - 12PM
jaycee
jaycee's picture

thanks for all the responses

thanks you guys, i know hes a pathological liar, the only thing is if it is beneficial to him to leave, then he will, if it suits his needs. I am assuming his constant, not withdrawing or changing story, is a clue, that things are not want he thought they would be, and she no longer is supplying him with what he thought she would. she stopped paying for things, taking him places, buying him new clothes and sneakers,and they rarely even go to eat, and when they do, its cheapy places and he pays, maybe a couple times a month now. so i am assuming his complaints arent because hes so miserable, they are because the little boy isnt getting what he was promised, or thought he deserved. hes constantly here, saying, i wish i could just go up to my room go to sleep and wake up go to gym come home, go to work and come home to my house, etc.......bullshit, and i say well when you get your own place, you will enjoy those comforts. but when i say what are you going to do, you have no money to get a place right now, how is it possible you are leaving before thanksgiving, he replies, WE'LL figure something out. go figure........Jaycee

Jaycee

Nov 9 - 12PM
Briseis
Briseis's picture

It's always safer to

It's always safer to consider everything coming out of a Narc's mouth to be a lie. Until proven otherwise.
Nov 9 - 10AM
desprathousewife
desprathousewife's picture

Hi Jaycee

How can you trust anything this man says....Hmmmm a toughy, trusting a Narc???? This is why we are all here I'm afraid to say, cos we trusted these compulsive liars, they lie with every breath that they take. The only time they seem to tell the truth is if it is beneficial to them in some way, so I guess if it's beneficial for him to leave this woman then he will, or thinks he will. Who knows. I'd love to think that if he is just bullshitting you that you will stick to your guns and go NC. That will benefit you more in the longrun than any peace of mind you get from him leaving her. Sod believing HIM, believe in YOURSELF and a better future with him no longer in your life. Good luck Jaycee, you deserve peace and TRUE happiness in your life, he can never give you either. xx
Nov 9 - 7AM
Disillusionedx2
Disillusionedx2's picture

set up .....

Jaycee, This may be a huge set up for failure, he's a liar that is no secret, he's an N, that's what they do, and he is also financially strapped so how will he afford anything? You're never going to get any peace if you don't go NC with him. Your daughter is old enough to sustain a relationship with him on her own isn't she? This lady sounds like a villain but is she really? Or is this him making you all believe she is? Sounds as though she has her own trust issues regarding him but that's their problem not yours let them sort it out. Liars can't tell the truth, PERIOD, as I have said before, forget what he says, his ACTIONS will tell the final tale, best wishes.

stay~strong

Nov 9 - 6AM
NancyM
NancyM's picture

Liar liar

The thing about a pathological liar, is they don,t even tell the truth when confronted with evidence, they don't see the point. They don't even tell the truth when the truth may actually serve them better that telling a lie. They are so rigidly locked into their way of viewing the world and how to operate within it that they don't even consider another way of doing things. Besides, he still has access to you, and he would know that you are riddled with anxiety towards him, so.....no, chances are it is just part of his fantasy world crap. Sorry to say.

Nevergoback

Nov 9 - 10AM (Reply to #2)
mystwoman
mystwoman's picture

Disillusioned and Nancy are

Disillusioned and Nancy are correct. He is a narc. They are pathological liars. The only thing you can trust is that they are liars. You CAN trust that one. Actions speak louder than words. Don't listen what he says. Observe from a distance what he does. Invariably, they won't be the same. I, also, agree with the others here. NC is the only way you're going to ever get peace. As long as he has access to you, he will continue to play his games and mess with you. Hugs.

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God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.