Yours was Running?
Mine was Dancing. I was not allowed to go dancing with my girlfriends because I may be grabbed and shot!!
Now he didn't mind that I was without a car travelling on foot late at night!
I begged him to take me dancing..NO way..I said if he was weary of clubs we could go to lessons. No Never...
But...we went to the BMW dealership whenever he had a bad day ( I hated it) but..I went.
Makes me mad!!!
Yep. Was married 7 years to him. He "couldn't be married" to me and filed for divorce last year. I took the house, primary custody of our daughter & have only communicated with him via email. He kept his debt & has none of my assets.
I discovered this site after googling narcissim. My lawyer has used that word numerous times in describing my X. And I so see it now.
My focus now is rebuilding me...and protecting my daughter.
He's already starting it with her. He's been paying for her ice skating lessons & taking her on his custody day. She told me yesterday that she doesn't want to continue her lessons. I said, "well, that's on your day with your father. What did he say?"
She said, "he said, 'Excuuse me??'".
Nice response to a 7 year old.
Oh and I participated in a yoga competition last year---at age 40! :)
YAY FOR YOU ON THE YOGA....WOOHOO!! That's the thing. We have to celebrate those victories. They matter. The thing to learn from all of this for me anyways is? That I don't need a man to affirm me.
When I think about how I was high or low based on how he replied to me...or if he replied to me...it makes me ill. I LONG for the day when I no longer think about this man. Like I don't really think at all...about narc #1. I'm angry that I fell for anther narc, and I wasn't in love. I just yearned for the affirmation from an emotionally unavailable man.
That's the thing I really think we all have in common. Why do we want emotionally unavailable men? There's something thrilling about getting affirmation from such a man. And there is something wrong with that. That was my fault. I can't speak for anyone here...but just reflect on why you stay or stayed with a narc. Because when you figure that out...you will be able to begin healing. This isn't like healing from a normal breakup. I have had those in my life, too...and yes, they hurt. But, not like this...the sad thing is...you hurt BEFORE you break up. lol
Thanks for these replies, ladies...you are all such beautiful women. I can tell...even though we have never met...and I can't see you...I sense the beauty, intelligence, and warmth. You all deserve better than what you got.
I need to do some work in this area. Day 7, no contact. Something that I realized this morning, is that I have grown paranoid of how people view me. :=( Coworkers, family, friends...you name it, and I feel like people are not happy with me, in some way. I know this is in my mind, but it's something that I believe is residue coming from my relationship with the narc. Not that I ever bought into his lies about me, BUT...when someone keeps telling you how you need to change this that and the other thing, you start to feel that maybe others view you like this.
Anyone else relate? I really want to clear this thinking out of my head.
D99
Diedre
YAY FOR YOU ON THE
Anyone else feel this way?