How the Narc really perceives YOU

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#1 Aug 15 - 3AM

Arwen

How the Narc really perceives YOU

"Since [narcissists] deep down, feel themselves to be faultless, it is inevitable that when they are in conflict with the world they will invariably perceive the conflict as the world's fault. Since they must deny their own badness, they must perceive others as bad. They project their own evil onto the world. They never think of themselves as evil, on the other hand, they consequently see much evil in others."
— M. Scott Peck

#2 Aug 22 - 10PM

Susan32

Maleficent

The ex-Psych prof would love quoting Leo Tolstoy, who said that women are generally stupid, but that the Devil makes women capable of incredible intelligence for acts of evil. He'd say that I had the Devil's laughter. In "War and Peace",Prince Andrei makes the comment that less attractive women are more faithful to their husbands. The ex-P would demonize me if I laughed at him-and-still quoting Tolstoy- say that God had made me beautiful, but the Devil made me pretty. If I wore a dress or a skirt, he'd call me a slut. In Leo Tolstoy's short story "The Death of Ivan Ilyich",the main character, Ivan, starts demonizing his wife as soon as she is pregnant with their first child. The story implies that pregnancy turns Ivan's wife into an evil, demanding, coarse, abusive witch. (But Ivan is DEFINITELY a Narc-since Tolstoy bluntly says Ivan enjoys ruining others-and he emotionally/mentally bails as soon as his wife is expectant) I stopped minding the fact he demonized me. He demonized me during the final D&D, claiming I was hitting on him sexually, when I said NOTHING sexual. I don't care that he probably sees me as an embodiment of evil who sees the remnants of his sanity as tasty canapes, and imagines me as Maleficent preening myself before the mirror, praising her own beauty&petting her fire-breathing dragon. Besides, in Tibetan Buddhism, there are goddesses of compassion who are also WRATHFUL goddesses. They are wreathed in fire&carry weapons. They have fangs. They aren't placid&passive. Red Tara, the goddess of love, also bears the khatvanga (ceremonial spear) because she destroys the ego&illusion. Look up the Hindu goddess Kali. She looks like a villainess, but among the Indians, she represents compassion&destruction of the ego/illusions.

#3 Aug 23 - 11AM (Reply to #6)

venuslovedpluto

Demonizing

I'm not quite sure but I think I'm an inverted narcissist. I at least have some traits. Either that or I'm so confused at this point in time that I don't know which end is up. Either way, I feel like I kind of have a weird instinctive understanding of these guys. Maybe from immersion. My parents had this going on so I learned pretty early about control and how to duck and dodge. Maybe also because I stayed with my ex for way too long...trapped in my own head and in total denial for even longer. Unfortunately =( I'm not claiming to be a narc expert or a know-it-all, so please excuse my preface actually, I could very well be underanalyzing. And/or overanalyzing myself. I felt so angry reading your post though, Susan. Toward him. I guess I just want to show you what I see in your descriptions of him, besides a coward. I don't think the professor was "demonizing" you. I think he was simply trying to control you. It sounds like he felt threatened by your sexuality. Sex and beauty are POWER. They really are, femininity especially. Men know this & some (Narcs) resent us for it. Because she/he who needs/desires for less has "the upper hand." They think we're too dumb to take it, they feed us lines of love and romance to try and even that balance too. Then they're holding something WE NEED. Then once they've secured our trust and adoration they (might) try and stagger that level by attempting to disarm our "power" (they really see things this way). So they degrade us (it). Our sexuality is twisted into something disgusting or sleazy or useless, in hopes of separating us from that power. Then They have it. And control too. And now they're satisfied because they've "won"! They really are pretty simple I think. Even if they talk a big game, they're very basic. Like greedy 6 yr-olds. Everything is a competition or a deal. Usually of the unspoken variety.

#4 Aug 15 - 7AM

onwithmylife

Arwen

I never read People of the Lies and need to go do so, narc's brother once told me that"he, the narc, thinks he is right and everyone else is crazy", what Peak says is so true..........

#5 Aug 16 - 2AM (Reply to #2)

Arwen

OWML...Peck really is so

OWML...Peck really is so right on about this...every narc I was with actually at some point accused ME of being the devil,the seductress, the big bad powerful successful woman who got men to flirt with her, and ultimately, the woman who would break his heart by leaving! They really, truly do see us as the evil ones which is just mindblowing.

#6 Aug 23 - 11AM (Reply to #3)

venuslovedpluto

Evil

It's not so much about "evil" as it is about defensive justification I think. They're very co-dependent people because of their disorder, unable to function as a whole on their own. They fear and resent this, subconsciously. Which creates quite an uncomfortable paradox. So in order to cope, they create a sort of compartmentalized yet easily accessible coexistant duality within their object of desire, making what they want into what they don't want. So that they're armed if they feel threatened or if you become a flight risk. These are such base defensive mechanisms, established in childhood most likely. If these guys were fully aware that they were doing this stuff, they wouldn't quite be mechanisms really. I think it's so ingrained in them that it's like a reflex. A scary one to keep lots of distance from, you'll definitely get kicked and fall.

#7 Aug 23 - 11AM (Reply to #4)

Used

venusloves pluto

tho i like what you have said....i dont realy understand what you mean...how are they armed by disappearing... this to me doesnt make sense

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