I am back.. And wondering..

I was only here for a brief time a couple of months ago. I had just thrown him out because of his drinking. Honestly, I don't think he hoovered me back, I WANTED back..he actually told me he wasn't going to offer anything, that he was willing to go to therapy. Since then we went to therapy twice. Things seemed to be going okay, but he now refuses to go. His drinking has become far worse, to the point where he is drunk everyday, starts drinking in the morning and doesnt stop. He blames me for everything. He has changed sexually, or maybe this is just what he has been keeping hidden for the five years I was with him. In the past two months he has posted what I call "dick pics" on craigslist..i have seen his email .. And it was full of gay emails from craigslist..he doesnt even try to hide it, because really.. Who am I going to tell? He has convinced his family I am nuts so they don't speak to me.. They have no clue he was even seeing me. He has even asked me to bring a MAN into our bedroom... Not for ME but HIM !!( uh.. Dont think so!), later claiming it was just "drunk talk"!! Umm yeah Sooo, last week I went to pick him up and he got a text message .. I looked over and said who is that? He answered " You haven't earned the right to look at my text messages". We ended up arguing and then I got ST. It has been two months of HELL, with him being nice one day, giving ST for days off and on. A few weeks ago we spent four great days together.. After he left.. I had texted him how great I felt and how happy. I was.. Guess what I got ?? ST!! Five days of ST.. All he would say is this isnt working blah blah. I was a complete mess. The only time we spend together is when HE wants, he texts me at 8am for booty call ( no.. I didnt go ). We had plans to hang out last night, I didnt hear from him all day so I texted him and asked uf he was coming over.. He said he had plans.. that he was babysitting. Well I was so hurt, I must have sent him 30 texts, bitching and complaining. He texts me back a few hours later and says he was home and I could come get him now.. I told him too little.. Too late. Told him to F off. I spent a lot of time texting emotional crap. Today, I texted him a few times.. Telling him he is a heartless loser.. Etc. Soo I feel bad for sending emotional texts.. For calling him names..for weeks I have not fallen into acting like this no matter what, Wondering, has anyone else done this?? Been hurt and treated like crap so much that you send dumb, name calling texts to the N? I think i have reached my limit.. Was starting to wonder if I even had a limit.
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