I am done

Feeling exactly the same today... I don't think I can cope...

This is very worrying, that you are expressing such utter despair. PLEASE seek some help through a professional source! I have a little story to share. I was talking with my bff earlier tonight about what I went through during the earlier days post narc and how worried she was about me. I felt so similar to how you are describing. I was despondent, depressed, felt hopeless and didn't know if I wanted to try anymore - it seemed there was no point. This state I was in lasted awhile, but not forever. Tonight my friend told me how happy she is to have her friend back, that to see me happier, having hope and caring about myself again filled her heart. We had another good friend who died of cancer just months before my lowest low 2 years ago. My bff said it was so hard to see one friend fighting so hard to stay alive and not succeeding, then to turn around and see me wasting away from despair and sinking further into depression, in essence, willing to throw my life away. She thought she was losing me too and she said it was a really, really difficult thing to watch. She reminded me of a conversation we had last year at this time. I was doing better than I was before, but still dealing with some of it and struggling to keep hope about the future and she pointed out that in the previous year I'd made so many positive changes, and reassured me that in another year, so much more could happen which would continue to change how I was feeling and encouraged me to see that truth, to trust it, to believe it. Tonight, we marveled at how absolutely right she was! In the year since our conversation last summer, my life HAS changed for the better in so many ways and the pain did NOT last forever like I once thought it would. Right now, you are hurting, I wish I could do more to help, but all I can really do is what my friend did for me. I can tell you that in one year (which seems like a long time but goes by very quickly), a lot can happen to lead you to a happier place and all you need to do is let yourself believe it. Even in our darkest hour, like the balancing of yin and yang, the light will rise again in time. Please help yourself find that light. We are here for you, but I am concerned you need more support than we alone can give. Please talk to your doctor and see what options are available to you. Please care about your healing... we are here to offer encouragement every step of the way. (((((hugs)))))

There's a great line in one episode where Carrie is breaking up with Mr. Big...."We need a new word for done"

Done? Done with.............................hopes and dreams of a better life? Of being released from his prison? Done? Its hard at times, there is no wand that gets waved and makes everything better. You must work hard, and on days like today, you must work harder! You are so much better then that! You have to want more for yourself! Does this mindless, heartless predator really get to win? I don't think so............. Tomorrow is another day. Get a good nights rest and face a new day, new challenges......... Would you accept it, if say your best friend was fighting to beat cancer and said one day, "I give up" I think not..........GIVING UP IS NOT AN OPTION AND WON'T BE ACCEPTED.............you are better then that, you are better then him! Stay strong my friend.

I think each and everyone of us have felt exactly the way you are feeling at this moment in your life....dont give up the faith it will happen eventually

exactly the situation here now.