I am pissed off!
I am pissed off!
I woke up in the worst mood this morning and it's getting worse by the minute! I'm just pissed! Almost raging pissed! I felt it coming last night and it's full blown this morning!
Why is it that I let my life and my head be controlled by a verbal and physically abusive PIG? Why is it that every freaking thing reminds me of him? I have been working so hard and retraining my brain and it works great most of the time but it's not working now. It's a beautiful day and I'm in the house furious! I think it might be because I didn't think I'd be here on a beautiful day like today! I'm supposed to be out with Narc Boy riding horses or playing outside with the kids or a million other freaking things we planned for our wonderful lives together! Please don't get me wrong.....I DO NOT want that with him anymore. I am just mad that my life took such a sudden turn and now all those fun times and plans are GONE! Well they are gone for me! I'm sure the new GF is having tons of fun with the idiot. And yes I know she's going to live through the verbal and physical abuse eventually and be D&D just like he has with every woman in his life BUT I HAD PLANS!!! My life is supposed to be set right now! I'm not supposed to be at home alone! I'm supposed to be happy! DAMNIT!
I would like to drive to his house and just beat the hell out of him! Please don't panic because I'm not going to. I'm just saying.......wouldn't it be nice if they EVER got a taste of their own medicine? EVER?????? Wouldn't it be nice if they had the capacity as a human being to SUFFER? EVER? If they had the capacity to feel any freaking thing then it would make this easier because I could say HEY! You are a piece of trash and a no good cheating liar and it would mean something!
I'm gonna stop now. I could go on and on. Ladies do you ever do this? How do I stop it? I'm wasting another day on him. I'm going to put my running shoes on and hit the road and try to run some of this rage out of my system.
I've just had it - Sara