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I changed my cell number

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#1 Apr 21 - 5AM
sarah787
sarah787's picture

I changed my cell number

I've never done this. I decided after this past weekend I had to do something drastic. Now the REAL NC can begin. Some of the thoughts that are going through my head are:

. I still don't know if he is a narc,and just because I am on this bored doesn't make him one, what if I am the one with the emotional problems?
. I still feel incredibly unattractive, and I think this is why I keep on going back to my ex- he always calls me beautiful. Last night I went out with some friends, and once again, I tried to be outgoing/ positive, guys just ignore me.

Well hopefully in the next few months I can find myself again. I just reallllllly hope I am not making a mistake. I hope one day I can feel pretty/ worth something. I don't think he did this to me, I think I did this to me. It is the worst feeling in the world because I decided to give him another chance after all the breakups he put me through, and he ultimately was the one who decided not to be with me:(

Apr 21 - 8AM
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

{{{hugs}}} and this took

{{{hugs}}} and this took guts!! Good for you. I'd say...something that jumps out at me...looking for guys' approval still. Be very careful with that. Because that's what leads you back to the narc. That is what men will pick up on, and the likelihood of you meeting yet another narc if you're feeling low about yourself, is high. They have radar for women who are vulnerable, and have low self esteem. Self esteem takes time to build. Maybe volunteer somewhere. Get a really great hobby. Do something that gives you a sense of accomplishment, something that you stand on your own merit with, and not seeking the compliments of mere men. It's nice to be told we're pretty. It is. I like being told this by men. It's human nature. But, just because no men came up to you last night, doesn't make you any less of a woman. So, know that your worth can't come any longer from what men think of you. Keep working on that part, and you will never go back to that guy again.
Apr 21 - 8AM
spinning
spinning's picture

Sarah, this is good

and you won't regret it. This "person" has messed with you enough. Be kind to yourself in the coming days, take it moment by moment and shift the focus onto yourself...with inner work and patience and commitment to losing this guy once and for all, you will see that GREAT things will happen for you. I am proud of you for changing your number. You have to stop the cycle, and while it "feels like" he "doesn't want to be with you," the truth is you are choosing not to be with someone who treats you poorly, offers you only crumbs and is a liar and manipulator. The new Sarah is emerging and that's good! Hugs and good vibes for strength. You will find much support here. sincerely (fighting against) spinning

spinning