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I could never leave him...

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#1 Jan 23 - 8AM
Maggster
Maggster's picture

I could never leave him...

My N told the OW that I would never leave him- maybe he does know me better than I know myself. I'm feeling so hopeless today. I close my eyes I think of him, I sleep & I dream of him, i. Open my eyes I think of him...will it ever end?

Jan 23 - 1PM
Femmegem
Femmegem's picture

Maggster No!

He's got OW and he has no respect for you. Him and his homemade soup can f*** right off! I know that feeling, when I could only think of him, its like I breathed him! Now after almost 3 months NC I realise what a Dick.he his and how horrifically he treated me. CHOOSE to get over him honey, you deserve so much better. See how much brainwashing he does? Of course you can leave him! That's why you need to remain NC. I did it for 3 months before and still went back to him. You can never ever, under any circumstances break NC. Take care of yourself and educate yourself on the disorder. Every day, I'm learning.
Jan 23 - 9AM
midnight7
midnight7's picture

Dear Maggster - it ends when

Dear Maggster - it ends when you want it to.
Jan 23 - 9AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Yes, they say it takes two

Yes, they say it takes two years of complete NC.. Prove the Bastard wrong..Silence = Fuck you. Call Goldie for a one on one. Hunter
Jan 23 - 9AM
Isis
Isis's picture

Another asshole!

Dear Maggster, my N also told me, all his OWs would never leave him and I can bet all my money he tells them he had to get rid of me, because I'd never leave him as well. I believe it's complete NarcSpeak and one those lame, pathetic excuses they give. Hang on there! You're not alone. And please prove HE'S WRONG!
Jan 23 - 9AM
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

maggster

how about some therapy with a good trained professional,, this could be the step you need to make the break, remember we only get one go around...............it is up to YOU ALONE to decide if you want to end it.......
Jan 23 - 12PM (Reply to #3)
Maggster
Maggster's picture

Therapy

I am in therapy and am working on all this but it seems like I'm not getting anywhere. I understand he is poison to me and anyone else who crosses his path. I have to say, I feel sorry for him. He spends the entire day at the gym followed by the local pub. I ask him why he does that and his response- what else am I going to do? Believe me, I want to know what is wrong with me that I can't leave him. I made the list-I KNOW but soemthing keeps me from leaving him.
Jan 23 - 12PM (Reply to #4)
midnight7
midnight7's picture

Maggster - utter and complete

Maggster - utter and complete misery with someone that despises you and treats you appallingly, day in, day out for the rest of your one, short life, gasping for air every second with no respite or life, freedom, peace, choice, self-respect, control, and new adventures with real people - is it really a difficult choice?
Jan 23 - 12PM (Reply to #5)
Maggster
Maggster's picture

That's the very problem-he is

That's the very problem-he is more often than not, kind & attentive especially lately. He seduces me with gifts and attention and I fall for it. I asked him to stop giving me gifts for it makes me feel guilty. He comes to my house when I'm at work and shovels my driveway...He is so kind and attentive in the bedroom-I was sick and he made me homemade soup. The good is so good and the bad so bad...I'm a mess and I know there is something I need to fix in myself. I am far from a stupid woman but I'm stuck!
Jan 23 - 1PM (Reply to #6)
midnight7
midnight7's picture

Kindness/attention/gifts are

Kindness/attention/gifts are forms of manipulation and control. The narcissist I was with used to turn on the charm/attention when he knew I was thinking of leaving - this is a ploy designed to make you think the situation is changing - when the situation is stabilised again in their favour it's back to their normal behaviour. Are you happy at the moment with the gifts/attention/kindness? You seem under great stress/thinking about it constantly/uncertain how to proceed - so assume you are probably unhappy? Is there really any good at all - if acts that appear kind make you feel uneasy? This is a man who is married, is with you, and has another woman? This man is despicable, disgusting and not worthy of love, care, attention. You are not stuck - you can choose to stop this.
Jan 23 - 8AM
IncognitoBurrito
IncognitoBurrito's picture

Give

Give yourself some credit! Does he decide for you when you are done? No, of course not. You're just having negative self-talk right now, and I know how that feels. I've been doing a lot of that myself, and ruminating, too. Ultimately, it's up to us to make the change. Nobody has power over you, except what power you give them. Nobody who loves you will seek power over you to begin with. You'll never leave him, hm? Oh yeah? Snarky fucker. Prove him WRONG!