I feel manipulated by an N

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Anonymous (not verified)
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I feel manipulated by an N

There is someone from my past... just a friend. He and I haven't seen each other in > a year (before I cleaned house of all the Ns in my life). He is an electrician.

I needed to change out the chandelier in my foyer and a few of the bathroom lights and kitchen light the other day and so I called him over. I figured i would save a ton of money by having him come over. In retrospect I should have paid a different electrician bc the experience was so triggering for me. I ended up having trouble sleeping that night.

While he was there it hit me like a ton of bricks that he was an N. I was like "Oh nooo!"

He asked me for a glass of wine (he ended up drinking the entire bottle before he left). I told him I wasn't comfortable with him drinking and holding my chandelier while on a 20 foot ladder. He was like-- no biggie- "It takes A LOT to get me even tipsy." So I allowed him to pour himself some wine.

He immediately started commenting on my body. So, I went to grab a sweatshirt (bc the comments had me uncomfortable) he was like- "Now this job isn't as much fun if you cover up the tits Jessika!" He started asking me about which sexual position I liked. Asked me how do I "get off" now that I don't have a boyfriend anymore. Asked me if I had ever done a girl... If I would like to. The inappropriate questions were being fired off like bullets.

I was like "John--- enough already." I felt like I couldn't tell him off bc he was doing me a favor and hanging a total of 3 lights for free. I was SOoooo angry at him.

He then immediately started discussing sex and telling me that his wife is into girls and that he has had a number of threesomes and said that I would like them if I tried. Told me to tell him my "sickest" fantasy. Told me that i need to "get drunk" bc I was boring him with my vanilla conversation.

I felt SO violated when he left my house. Like a mind rape. I kept saying- "Enough John-- I don't talk like that so quit it!"

He thinks he is so hot too. He is an extremely overweight guy who has the face of Howdy Doody! Blaaaaah!

Since last week he has been sending me text after text. I just got another one a few minutes ago. It said "Mmmm I can just imagine you in a little string bikini. Next time I come over to hang lights I want you to wear one. BTW-- can I take you out tomorrow?"

This is a MARRIED man who I gave absolutely NO indication that I would be interested in. I even covered up more when he started talking to me, bc he creeped me out.

Anyway, I sent a text back telling him I don't like the advances and that they are inappropriate and completely creep me out. I sent that about an hour ago... he hasn't responded.

Ns are ALWAYS crossing boundaries and pushing their sick agenda even when their victim/ captive is saying STOP. I hate these men! I just hate them!

Just needed to vent!

Barbara (not verified)
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Jessika
WOW! talk about rude & inappropriate!!! Sheesh they're everywhere... hope you got this loser out of your life for good now, too. ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
cynthia (not verified)
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Sheesh they're everywhere.
lol, God poor Jessika you must have a sign on your door that says narcs welcome, a perverted electrician, hope nothing goes wrong with your toilet might get a sociopath plumber with his butt crack hanging out as he is fixing the toilet, ha ha Unreal I would have looked at him and said, Not again why do they keep coming around me, what a creepy pervert and gross looking too, ya like you are going to go out with him after he raped you with his eyes, yuck.
rache
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I would have
kicked the ladder down(by accident of course!)grrrrrrr..........maybe some socio/psychopath has rubbed off on me,lol
itreallyisabouthim
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Yuck.
I see them everywhere now, too. This is the one good thing about having been through the wringer, eh? I can't tell you how many times I have had creepy situations happen with men I thought were just friends...they turned on me once we were alone. I sort of had to revise my thinking on the possibility of men as friends. I only have a few male friends now and they're gems.
Amazed
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Vulgar Men
I have a guy who also helps me with stuff,,and crude, rude, and married,,one day he left heavy breathing sounds on my vm... I called his wife, and told her that he was doing these things, and to please tell him to stop. He never did it again, and since then treated me like a normal human being. That was nice,,,