i just had to know.......

I know I shouldn't have but I just had to know.....

This is reagrding the car in his driveway last night. I did not do a drive by again last night but this morning I could NOT stop myself. I had to know and YES its still there.

Which means of course whoever she is stayed the night. In my house, in my bed. Ite beautiful here today so they will most likely go on a motorcycle ride on the bike I picked out. She will be on the back, in MY seat. My place where I belonged for so long.

I understand eventually she will get the same treatment I did. I understand he is disorderd, a narc, a psycho. I truly understand that but understanding that does not stop the tears right now.

I honestly did not think, or want to believe hed move on so quickly, easily. I get I was discarded. I get it was never really love or real. I get that I was the only one who was genuine in the relationship. Being discarded because I figured him out and he couldn't stand that. Being discarded is one thing being replaced is totally different. I'm hurting and pissed and back to Day 1 as that is not sticking to NC. CONTACT does equal PAIN and the pain is worse then the original breakup pain. I didn't exist to him, I never mattered. He probably doesn't evem remember my name. Falling aprt here. Its all just crumbling down.