I wrote and then . cried ..faced it....but today I'm feeling hopeless

I spent some time writing parts of my story...the bad stuff on index cards to have them serve as a reminder for the days when I blame myself. There were so many horrible things to write...I cried and cried. It was too real. I was shocked that HOW MUCH I dealt with. I don't know how I did it.

Today, I woke up very sad and feeling hopeless, exhausted and back to blaming myself and have a hard time talking myself out of it.

Will this ever end.? I wish I had a good friend to call when I feel like this but I don't.

Anyone experienced this? Any advice. How did you get through it?

I'm really down today and I NEED to get better faster.

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.