Im not in a good place
Im not in a good place
I broke 21 days NC and it has all been down hill since. To add to that I know that my ExN will be in town for his HS reunion. I txtd (didnt say anything about me knowing that) and all I have gotten is a bunch of double speak about where he is right now.
To add insult to injury last night I had the overwhelming urge to see if he was on match.com. Yep you guessed there he was. His discription of what he;s lookin for is me. He even used one of our past experiences.
I dont know if alot of you know but I am married. I realize alot of you may not understand. I get that. I never thought I would find myself in this situation. The N is someone I had a relationship (4-5 years) in my twenties. I suffered a great deal then too. I never knew what had caused the dimise of that relationship but I spent almost 2 years trying to get over it. Enter my husband who is an awesome guy. We have been married 14 years. So I add guilt on to all of the other issues and emotions Im feeling. The Ex n came back into my life with big promises of how he knew that he wanted to be with me and always loved me and he would wait as long as took for me.
I bought in to all of it.
So I sit here tonight wanting to cry my eyes about the N being here in town and not seeing me but I cant because I cant let my family see. I cannot speak to any friends regarding my pain as they would all freak that I was even talking to the N as they all knew and hated him from the first round. I feel like mind my is in prison. Solitary confinement at that.
I do have one friend on here that I speak with daily and honestly She has been a God Send. Its so hard to keep all of this inside. It makes you feel so isolated and alone.
Thanks for listening
my heart is breaking
Take the Day Off
Sick of it
Believe in yourself!
Terri
Thanks Ladies
Hugs to you
thank you morty
I understand
Morty
awe sick of it :(
Fierflie
Match.com
btw
Oh yes you cant believe the
sick of it
Yep mine has the same BS on
Sick of It
Thank You Morty
I'm so Sorry
I feel your pain. I'm
better off
Hell no! He would not
Better off
sick of it
almostlydia
yes almostlydia