Inner Circle

8 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Mar 3 - 7AM
Kath1234
Kath1234's picture

Inner Circle

In the early days, my ex-boyfriend would often say that I was part of his "inner circle".

I think he used this term as a way to draw me in. As if he's so important and I'm lucky to be a part of his world.
Yuck!

Has your Narc ever used the phrase "Inner Circle"?

Mar 3 - 2PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Years since I've heard that one!

At least 15, when I first met the ex-Psych prof! 15 years ago, the ex-P claimed I could become part of his "inner circle." I know he considered his younger male disciples his "inner circle." And for some reason I was never able to join. I think I teased him about the secret handshake for that one. (In his favorite novel "War and Peace",one of the main characters, Pierre, is a Freemason, and the Masons are a secret society) He claimed that he had numerous "writings." Somehow they never materialized. I have a higher opinion of Joseph Smith, Jr (founder of the LDS Church)--because he had LOTS of writings. He had something to show for it... even if they were bogus.
Mar 3 - 10AM
IncognitoBurrito
IncognitoBurrito's picture

Um

I don't particularly recall him using that specific verbage. However, he did go out of his way to reiterate to me, that when he dropped a few of his friends, he kept the most important-the one's who had truly been there for him- and that included me. Not sure I feel as flattered by that anymore. Perhaps they use this type of language and behavior to keep up the facade of Us vs. Them? What do you guys think? Really, how self-important. Like they are one-man clubs, and either you're in or you're out? Pretty twisted. Black and white thinking. Narrow-minded. Maybe it's more of an unsaid, understood thing, in some cases. For instance, I was the scapegoat in my family. I was the one who was made to feel bad about myself, like I'd never go anywhere in life, for whatever reason, on any given day. I was made to feel responsible for my mother's emotions. If she was having a break down, she felt it must've been because nobody cared about her! Or because *I* was selfish, or what have you. I was the caretaker and scapegoat. Meaning, I'd mediate the problems, and things would end up being twisted around on me, and made out to be my fault, my problem. For example, I spent one Christmas waiting outside in the car, by myself, while everybody else opened presents and mingled. But that's another topic, sorry. So, you could say, that I was born into my mother's inner circle. Even though it wasn't stated.
Mar 3 - 8AM
mystwoman
mystwoman's picture

Yes, xnh sure did. If you're

Yes, xnh sure did. If you're interested in reading some about this, the book "Freeing Yourself From The Narcissist In Your Life" by Linda Martinez-Lewi goes into narcs and their "inner circle" quite a bit. It's a very helpful book, and I highly recommend it.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Mar 3 - 9AM (Reply to #5)
Kath1234
Kath1234's picture

mystwoman

thanks..i will check out her book
Mar 3 - 7AM
spinning
spinning's picture

Kath, mine used

a word that I don't want to post as to not be too revealing but it was the same implication. The people he included in the word he used were supposedly the only people he cared about and everyone else in the world didn't count. I thought I was in that 'inner circle.' Apparently I wasn't. That should be good news, but right now it just feels like I was hugely DUPED. Yuck. Bad, bad day. Sincerely (really trying hard to stop) spinning

spinning

Mar 3 - 7AM
ABC0311
ABC0311's picture

Yes!

He sure did!
Mar 3 - 7AM
Sergie41
Sergie41's picture

Kath1234

xn never used that exact phrase. But he did make a huge point to make it known his friends were above everyone else. They were the best people around. His close circle of friends were higher than society, and no one else could have a circle like theirs. Or even compare.